Today

Today i found where the wild things are, and took the cookie

I shot j.r. and let the dogs out

I found waldo and carmen sandiego

in a love shack winnebago

When my baby got home tonight

she said "You didn't do shit today"

I said no, baby

Maybe tomorrow

Today i found where all the flowers went

and where the missing sock goes

I found the yellow brick road

Where the streets have no name no

When my baby got home tonight

she said "You didn't do shit today"

I said no, baby

Maybe tomorrow

Today i found the end of the rainbow

and what the world needs now

I broke the glass ceiling

and joined the sisterhood of man

Today i talked someone down from the ledge

and found the beef, though i kinda which i hadn't

I got trapped in a broken elevator

with mother theresa and hitler

When my baby got home tonight

she said "You didn't do shit today"

I said no, baby

Maybe tomorrow

The One You Want

The one you want more than anyone is gonna run away

The one you want more than anyone is never gonna stay

You can make someone happier than they've ever been

But you can't make you happy, that's a game you'll never win

The one you want more than anyone is gonna say goodbye

The one you want more than anyone is gonna make you cry

You can give someone the best thing they'll ever know

But you can't buy your own best thing, that's just a no-go

You can walk the spirit path, erase all your greed

But the spirit path won't heal you like you need

The one you want more than anyone is gonna disappear

You'll turn around, and they won't be here

You can make someone happier than they've ever been

But you can't make you happy, that's a game you'll never win

"Bad Feminist"

-by roxane gay

2014

My only complaint with this book is that for a while, it feels like false advertising. Big chunks of the middle section aren't about feminism really, just pop culture critiques. But relax, and embrace the fact that the piece is a collection of essays written as standalones...and eventually it all comes around to feminism (or maybe feminism/race). And all that is actually a nice parallel for roxane's problem with feminism - what IS it ? As soon as you try to capture "essential feminism", you're stumbling over your own feet. So instead of taking territorial poses, let's all just be ourselves and keep on striving for common ground. Pretty good message, and pretty great essays. Thank you, roxane.

The Blues Just Blew into Town

There's a blue moon tonight

My ex called out of the blue

She went from blue collar to blue blood

So i'm swimming the blue bayou

Feel it waterfallin' down

I guess the blues just blew into town

My car is a blue book bust

The blue whales are fading away

Mr. Blue Sky can't be found

It's just another blue Monday

Feel it waterfallin' down

I guess the blues just blew into town

Blue devils won't let me be

I'm drowning in the deep blue sea

Blueberry Hill can't be found

Blue Christmas comin' 'round

The best host left Blue's Clues

Blue suede shoes ain't for the weak

My probation officer's blue in the face

He's talking a blue streak

Feel it waterfallin' down

I guess the blues just blew into town

Just another blue valentine

My heart is all black and blue

My blue heaven feels like hell

My cojones are pretty blue too

Feel it waterfallin' down

I guess the blues just blew into town

not-ends 32

There are only two ceremonies i refuse to attend - marriage and funeral. Come to think of it, there's only one kind.

The first freedom is freedom from family. The second freedom is freedom from friends. The third freedom is freedom from lover. The final freedom is freedom from self.

Do you suppose there was anyone waiting in heaven to slut-shame god the day he got mary pregnant?

Once upon a time, workers had to fight for the right to work only ten hours a day. Then it was the struggle for eight hours. The people celebrated. How many million americans work two jobs...and who's laughing now?

The average human farts fourteen times a day. Factor in the number of viewers on this site at any given moment, and i've calculated that in the time it takes you read this, another viewer just farted. It was you, wasn't it?

I am sick of all this bullshit about "the greatest american generation". It's inaccurate AND misplaced. The men who fought WWII simply did what they were told. The moral credit for that war belongs to the soldiers' fathers and grandfathers. They saw that benito, tojo, and adolf were dominating and exploiting the weak, and said "Wait a minute - that's OUR job".

Winter fishermen have well-drilled iceholes.

The greatest obstacle to human progress is our capacity for self-delusion.

Did you ever notice that jewish women are amazing in bed, and jewish men lousy? Anybody have a line on that?

I bought a shirt at a garage sale that read "Jingle Bells, All Girls Smell". I thought i could wear it ironically. But when i tried, i just couldn't do it. So i got my scissors out, and snipped away the "m"...and now i can wear it! It's still repulsive (and selectively persecutorial, as men sell themselves just as fervently as women), but now it's at least ironically repulsive and conversation-provoking.

Studies have revealed that in every humyn society, the three happiest words are identical. A nobel-winning scientist has postulated that if we combine these words into one phrase, and make that phrase part of every culture, poverty and war might soon end. Those three words? "Naked boobie hug". It's time for the naked boobie hug world peace movement.

Sex and Love

Sex and love have nothing to do with each other

Sex and love are different beasts

Confusing the two, dumbest thing you can do

But that's what we do

from the west to the east

Sex and love have nothing to do with each other

Love ain't what sex is about

Confusing the two, silliest thing you can do

But that's what we do

from the north to the south

Do you love me, do you love me

Well i want you, i want you

Do you love me, do you love me

Well i want you, i want you

Do you love them, do you love them

Well i want them, i want them

Do you love me, do you love me

We seem to be stuck

Sex and love have nothing to do with each other

Sex and love are frenemies

Confusing the two, stupidest thing you can do

But that's what we do

from the rich to the poor

left to right

nasty to nice

smart to dumb

sober to numb

Sex and love, sex and love

not-ends 33

I'm convinced there are some wimyn (not all, mind you) who wake up and think, "Well, WHAT shall i do with my breasts today?" And maybe they decide to take their breasts for a bike ride. So they do. And maybe i pass them, and they smile at me as though i know exactly what they're doing. And i DO know! Bless them, i say. I might do the same if i could.

Occasionally (after a decade or three of searching) some people stumble across this spiritual truth - whenever someone says something bad about you, do NOT take it personally. Very, very few go on to the deeper truth - whenever someone says something good about you, do NOT take it personally.

Nine of ten people will think about suicide at some point. It's the 10% who fascinate me.

Racism ain't about yellow, pink, or brown - only the green that ain't spread around.

Bumper sticker: FUNCTIONAL IS DYSFUNCTIONAL

Theories abound over whether meat-eating makes humans more aggressive. Here's another - a circumcised infant will have trust issues forever.

The moment you objectify your life, is the moment you objectify everybody you know.

If someone sticks their head far enough up their ass, will they eventually get a view of the world again by peeking out their own throat?

The great american question of the 17th century - who are these pink-skinned assholes? The great american question of the 18th century - what loyalty is owed a government that keeps rich men from their profits? The great american question of the 19th century - what loyalty is owed a government that tolerates racial slavery? The great american question of the 20th century - what loyalty is owed a government that tolerates gender slavery? The great american question of the 21st century - what loyalty is owed a government that tolerates poverty?

Actually, there will be a second great question of the 21st century - what loyalty is owed a government that tolerates other-animal slavery. We're going to have to double up on great questions this century.

The only honest love song in the history of pop music? "Love for Sale".

Bigfoot Went to Hollywood

Bigfoot went to Hollywood, her daddy said don't go

But those lights, they glitter

She got offered a reality show

She got a mansion in El Segundo

So nice, that sea breeze blow

Commercials and talk shows came calling

Into the fast life falling

Bigfoot oh bigfoot, get that snow off your nose

You don't need those damned designer clothes

Flashy friends won't be there when life is rough

Your network won't know you when times are tough

Go home, bigfoot, go home

She got pedicured and permed

and groomed by a horse trainer

Implants in her tush, a brazilian bush

And anal bleaching, a no-brainer

She loved the club life, she danced all night

Chugging coconut and Campari

She fell into that endless flight

She totaled her brown Ferrari

Bigfoot oh bigfoot, get that snow off your nose

You don't need those damn designer clothes

Flashy friends won't be there when life is rough

Your network won't know you when times are tough

Go home, bigfoot, go home

Just get naked and go back to the wood

Where songs were simple and sex was good

Rest your head bigfoot don't you cry

Your momma's love money can't buy

She dated a boy band lead singer

He wrote a hit song "Big Foot Fetish"

She got pregnant, he said don't worry

My abortion doc is discreet

Do it now, no hurry

She miscarried then got busted for solicitation

They did a cavity search at the local station

Her show got canceled, the money was gone

Without her, the party just went on

Bigfoot oh bigfoot, get that snow off your nose

You don't need those damn designer clothes

Flashy friends won't be there when life is rough

Your network won't know you when times are tough

Go home, bigfoot, go home

not-ends 36

I'm declaring a change in the english language - i'm eliminating the word "man", and replacing it with "wowoman". What's that, wowomen? You say you suddenly feel like a subset of women, and not a whole person anymore? Hmm...why don't you go meditate on that for a while?

I am about to become the only male who ever has, or ever will, tell you the truth. I have no interest in a womyn's mind. There is only one womyn's body part that interests me, at all. Her leg. If i couldn't pull a womyn's leg at least once a day, i wouldn't want to live.

Would you believe me if i told you that over 80% of rapists and 90% of serial killers were circumcised?

Herculean labors don't impress me. My own labors involve making people understand that Russia was never communist...and after that, making them understand that America has never been a democracy. In comparison, diverting a river to wash some stables sounds like a nice weekend in the country.

Sometimes the childlike person is the only adult in the room.

We are taught not to be honest, but look honest. We are taught not to be moral, but look moral. We are taught not to be happy, but look happy.

The most mathematically destructive phrase in the english language? "Private property"...because it combines two of the top-twenty most destructive words. And really, isn't private property the most ridiculously redundant phrase around? If something is private, isn't propertyhood implied? If we see a gate that says "private", does anyone imagine that they're asking us to not steal their nice gate, but we should feel free to enjoy the land beyond? So why do we use this ridiculous phrase? Because "private" by itself sounds mean, and people (especially rich people) like to bullshit themselves into thinking we're less mean than we really are.

The only time to EVER give advice is when the same person asks for it thrice.

It's not "victim mentality" to acknowledge victimhood. If you were born into a culture of fear, alienation, and repression (and you were), it is reality avoidance to suggest we just need to tweak our mindset. Humyns are social creatures, and our biological needs include daily doses of love, play, and sex. To be a person, we need other people. You can't fix your life by force of will, and anyone who says you can is selling you something.

What are the only seven words that can save our species? END THE VIOLENCE OF PROFIT AND POVERTY.

It gives me no end of amusement to know that the abbreviation for Valentine's Day is V.D. That, dear friends, is called poetry.

"Factfulness"

(Ten Reasons We're Wrong About the World - and Why Things are Better than You Think)

-by hans rosling, 2018

Hans was a doctor, professor of international health, and public educator. His biggest achievement was getting the World Bank to retire the racist and inaccurate terms "developed" and "developing" world, replacing those with a four-level wealth/poverty index. He spent a lifetime studying why the overwhelming majority of people score lower on a test of global knowledge then chimpanzees (or in other words, why all people would do better just randomly guessing, rather than THINK they know, as our guesses are overwhelmingly wrong, because of evolutionary cognitive biases).

The book begins with a multiple-choice quiz regarding global health, poverty, and education. The average person (including the highly-educated) scores a 2 out of 13. The average chimp, a 3. I scored a 9...but that was AFTER seeing the subtitle of the book.

Hans explores the biological instincts that prevent us from seeing the world as it is. The gap instinct, which makes us see only extremes, not the middle where the majority usually lies. The negativity instinct, which is why the news only serves up BAD stories. The fear instinct, a holdover from a time in evolution when danger was ever-present and to not be vigilant meant quick death. Plus seven other instincts that ill-serve us in achieving a global perspective. Don't fret, things are not "getting worse". In the big picture, living conditions for the majority of humyns are much better than they've ever been. And continue to improve at a startling rate. Within a few generations, poverty might be gone forever.

Even without the subtitle, i'd have scored better than a chimp...but i still had my blind spots, particularly regarding overpopulation.

Hans spares no one. On global warming, he recalls how al gore urged him to portray worst-case scenarios as the baseline. Perhaps in the big picture, gore was right to do so...but hans held fast to the truth, rather than succumb to the alarmist instincts that are present in us all.

Hans teaches us tools to overcome our ancient, faulty instincts.

So if i may make a recommendation (without falling prey to alarmist tactics myself), get this book for yourself. As quick as you can!

not-ends 37

You know how you can take out books from some libraries, and return them to another branch, where they shelve rather than return them? I've started taking out as many books at a time from my local library as i can, and returning them to other branches. I do this every day. I don't even read them. I calculate it will take another nine and a half months to empty the library entirely.

American wimyn have more negative feelings about their bodies than wimyn anywhere else in the world. What's America's biggest global export? Culture.

Screw-on sound amplifier for small-caliber handguns - made up, or actual thing?*

I've got a brilliant angle on people who are drawn to the "wounded" or "lost" ones - perhaps we shouldn't try to psychoanalyze them in terms of what they're attracted to, but rather what they're AVOIDING. Anyone who can manage to convince themselves that they're NOT wounded is in about seventeen kinds of denial, and it would probably be exhausting to have a relationship with them. So an affinity for the wounded ones, rather than being self-defeating, might be the only semi-sane solution around.

Malcolm x, abdul-jabbar, ali...i have the utmost respect for blacks who reject their slave names. The unmitigated arrogance of white people - to not just enslave humyn beings, but then name those slaves jefferson or washington or jackson? So...how do i reject my slave master name? Obviously religious fundamentalism is out. Hmmm...since i only use one name currently, perhaps i should add a second? Something peaceful, like wrob daffodil? Or deferential, like wrob africa? I'm open to suggestions here.

Yogurt soda - made up, or actual thing?*

For thousands of years, the inferiority of wimyn has been justified by eve's being "born of adam's rib". Now that we know that all fetuses are female at first, must we henceforth declare men inferior to wimyn?

The equivalent of "ballsy" would be "ovariesy"...or maybe "eggsy". Yeah, linguistically, i don't think either of those are going to catch on...

Believers either have one foot in heaven, which makes them halfway somewhere else, or they think god is in the room too. So you can have a one-on-1/2 conversation, or a one-on-1.5 conversation, but a one-on-one conversation with a believer never really seems to be an option.

Perfume made from the pheromones of rich people - made up, or actual thing?*

The correct translation of eve's name? "Life". Gee, i wonder why the church bungled that one? Adam and life.

*made-up, made-up, actual

Supermodel Blues

Perpetually depressed, underfed and overdressed

Got them supermodel blues

Taught to mistrust my sisters

My fate in the hands of misters

No one notices my brains

Predators hold my reins

and in three years i'll be old

Perpetually depressed, underfed and overdressed

Got them supermodel blues

Gilded treadmill never slows

Camera click a million times a day

My dates are intimidated

Neurotic demons howling away

And in two years i'll be old

Perpetually depressed, underfed and overdressed

Got them supermodel blues

Where did i go, what did i eat

Paparazzi are lurking

What did i buy, who did i meet

Anti-anxiety meds just ain't working

Everyone loves me, no one likes me

If i complain i'm just ungrateful

Old friends just want selfies

If i say NO i'm just hateful

and in one year i'll be old

Perpetually depressed, underfed and overdressed

Catwalks to catcalls, binocular-peepers casting couch creepers

Low-down fancy-gown starvation-diet mental-riot

Got them supermodel blues

not-ends 38

Want to know why straight males are intimidated by lesbians? It's not the thought that wimyn don't need a penis...it's the thought that we should be able to satisfy them EVEN WITHOUT ONE. When it comes to sex, that wing dang dingle down there is pretty much our only trick. It's not much of a trick...we know, we know.

True skill in hurting others requires endless practice at hurting oneself.

Wouldn't it suck if you choked to death because you didn't take a breath before you took a bite, and there wasn't enough air in your lungs for a good heimlich?

The only problem i have with the research that demonstrates non-believers are more intelligent than believers, is this - what if it's a case of confusing cause and effect? Are intelligent people more prone to non-belief, or does non-belief make one smarter?

Know how some music open mics have a one-song limit? I'm going to write a political song called "Filibuster". It will be twenty-seven hours long.

After 9/11, americans lost some civil liberties. But it's alright - we weren't using them anyway.

Whenever i pass a Church of the Living God, i always think "Doesn't that imply that somewhere there must be a church of the dying god?" I can never find that church in my neighborhood.

You have two choices in this world - self-deception or self-destruction. The more "normal" you are, the closer your balance is between the two.

If you absolutely cannot avoid a religious debate with a believer, try these two questions:
1) If you'd been born in another culture, would you be a (insert "wrong" religion of their choice)?
2) If there were no god, would some people believe in one anyway?
If you get any kind of rational response, DON'T PRESS YOUR LUCK. Get out while you can.

There is only one path to being really and truly alive. Get over yourself.

If i had a time machine, i'd go to 1953, abduct elizabeth taylor (eight marriages), go to 1378, abduct Henry VIII (six marriages), bring them back to the present and strand them on a desert island. Now THAT'S a reality TV show.

"The End of Bias: a Beginning"

(The Science and Practice of Overcoming Unconscious Bias)

-by jessica nordell

2021

It would be redundant for me to explain this book, as the title and subtitle perform that task admirably. The book lives up to its billing, in the best of ways.

So instead i'll mention some memories the book stirred up.

A few years back, a possible romance were sparking between me and a charming, brilliant black poet. One night, she said she had things to teach me. I nodded, and said we had things to teach each other.

I wasn't wrong...but i wish i could have that moment back, so i could keep my fool white mouth shut. Neither the friendship nor romance proceeded.

Many years ago, i was speaking with a new theater acquaintance, and gave him a playful punch on the shoulder. He looked at me witheringly, and said "don't do that". In the emotionless, patriarchal world into which i was born, any expression of affection between males had to be couched in mockery or pretend violence.

As an adult, i almost never engage in shame or regret...almost.

The depth to which biases are baked into us by the time we're teens...well, i'll let the book speak for itself. Go find it.

"Rocketman"

-2019

This elton john biopic is my nominee for worst movie of the 21st century.

It should only be shown with this caveat stamped to the screen: "Any resemblance between this film and elton's life, is entirely accidental".

Mind you, i don't see a lot of new movies. But it's hard to imagine any cinematic turd more appalling. This film is an object lesson in why you should NEVER let your subject be one of the film's producers. The most egregious act of masturbatory self-adulation to ever (dis)grace the screen?

All the flaws of the film are encapsulated in the casting of the lead. Taron egerton is seven kinds of talented, but no skill can mask the fact that he is a Hollywood hunk.

Elton darling, i adore you, but you were never a hunk. You were a short, unathletic nerd. And i LOVE the idea of making nerds sexy...but this ain't the way to do it.

Instead of using your influence to fight beautyism, you capitulated to it, in the worst possible way.

Somewhere out there, is a great movie about the life of elton john. It just hasn't been made.

Though actually, maybe the freddie mercury pic was worse...

Seldom

wrob's music videos

A list - greatest concert ever

B list - specialty occasions

C list - oblivion

I really love where the music goes on this...so sad it didn't have the juice to be a keeper.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqslYdxCbd8

not-ends 39

So there are two Beatles and two Monkees still alive...hello?? Supergroup???

In any city or town, what are the three most numerous buildings? Bars, churches, and beauty salons. Once you realize that our culture's three most sacred cows are superstition, vanity, and reality-escape, everything else suddenly makes sense.

Coolest name ever for a lesbian bar? Shelixir.

My biggest issue with the psychiatric profession is this - the notion that most people's problems are in their head is patently untrue (and there are choice words for those who profit through deception). If we want to seriously deal with the problems we face, we should start getting our therapeutic counseling from sociologists, not psychologists.

In schools for the deaf, how do substitute teachers get the students to stop talking?

If you ever wonder why some men seem to get morbidly lost in guilt over what history has done to wimyn, it's not abstract feminist outrage - these men are mourning the fact that wimyn have been so damaged, there is almost zero likelihood that any of us will ever have a healthy sexual relationship. We're not just mourning for wimyn, we're mourning for ourselves.

Every day a million people call in sick, but no one calls in healthy. I called in healthy sixteen years ago, and they haven't seen me since.

The biggest misconception about evolution is that it's an upward process. It's not. It's only forward.

Wouldn't it be funny if conservatives succeeded in getting full citizenship rights for fetuses, and then liberals succeeded in getting welfare funding for being pregnant?

I've never understood why wimyn put up with men. I am dead earnest. Men...are...odious. And don't get me wrong, wimyn are...fucked up. But even the best of men, are a bit odious. There are almost no odious wimyn...and the only ones who are, are trying to be like men.

I predict that within another century or three of humyn evolution, the entire process of menstruation will take about seven minutes. From the first stirrings of PMS to the final drop, seven minutes. And by the time that happens, humynity will be so feminine-positive that most wimyn in northern climates will go for a pantsless walk in the snow whenever they feel menstruation coming, so they can shed their uterine linings in a beautiful red spray against a white background. Seeing the spot, passersby will smile, knowing a powerful womyn was there.

What She Needs

wrob's music videos

A list - greatest concert ever

B list - specialty occasions

C list - oblivion

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMgpON3yJJg

not-ends 41

"It is those who have the least, who give the most." The first step in understanding the truth of these words is to go to the town square, put out a hat, and start playing songs.

Science has finally discovered why wimyn live longer than men - apparently there are far more wives curious about being widows than previously assumed.

Psychiatric therapy makes people normal...but that was the problem in the first place.

Best contradiction-in-terms ever? Business ethics.

Has it never occurred to anti-abortion advocates that if they had devoted all their resources to research making contraception cheap, non-bothersome, and foolproof, the problem would already be over?

Say the word "bible" slowly over and over, putting a break between the syllables. So often, we miss the truth that's been staring at us all along.

I find prostitution abhorrent...but if i'm ever rich, i'm going to keep $10,000 in my pocket, so i can tell a stranger that i'll give her all the money on me if i can stick my tongue in one of her holes - her choice of hole. Considering the gender wage gap, i'll be able to write it off as charity, too.

Why do we have the word "manhandle", but not "womynhandle"? What would that even mean? Isn't it time we found out?

The only time i mind the strange looks i get for being a feminist, is when that look comes from a womyn.

Science has long sought to understand what makes humyns unique, not grasping the flaw in that premise. But perhaps there IS one singularly humyn quality - we are the only creatures able to blind ourselves to not just the pain of others, but our own as well.

The only movie that told the truth about love? "King Kong".

F&ckstruck

wrob's music videos

A list - greatest concert ever

B list - specialty occasions

C list - oblivion

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jugc0NjaNM

not-ends 43

I'm going to start a magazine devoted to health and self-image issues for testicles. I'm calling it The Gonadvocate.

My diatribes against makeup are sometimes met with scorn by third-wave feminists who say they've reclaimed makeup in the name of personal expression, sometimes wearing it in ways not approved by the patriarchy. To that i say, IF you're not deluding yourself, that's brilliant! But how is your choice affecting the vast majority of wimyn who are less self-actualized? Are you burying them deeper in double standards and financial chains?

The only sensible time to commit a crime is during the fall daylight savings time shift, when there are two 12:42AMs. But officer, i CLEARLY have an alibi for 12:42!

Is there anyone who would be bothered if we made one final half hour shift, then never worry about this daylight savings nonsense again?

Show me the Hollywood director brave enough to do a remake of "The Wizard of Oz", and switch the actors playing the good witch and wicked witch.

I think the other states missed the boat in not following Indiana's lead in capital-naming - Iowapolis in particular, would easily become the tourist mecca of the Midwest. Iawopolis.

If wishes were horses...there would instantly be billions more creatures enslaved and abused.

A slave nation was once founded on the precept "all men are created equal". Yet there's a more subtle contradiction at play. We declared our independence as a protest against being economically exploited...yet we created an economy in which economic exploitation of our own citizens is the most essential and inescapable building block.

If ben franklin had gotten his way and our national bird was the turkey, would we have a national day of gratitude on which we eat an eagle?

The closer you get to sanity, the more likely you'll go insane.

Attention Hollywood! I've got your next mega-blockbuster. It's been in front of our nose the whole time - "Robin Hood vs. Millionaire Bruce Wayne".

Sexy Knees

wrob's music videos

A list - greatest concert ever

B list - specialty occasions

C list - oblivion

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MG0UzI5T0iU

not-ends 44

Neil armstrong left four poops on the moon. How long do you think it will be before some ambitious astronaut sees the E-Bay goldmine just laying there?

There are two kinds of people who drink - those who like to drink, and those who like to be around people who drink.

Do you suppose neil buried the poops in moon dust, or just dropped them?

Aren't all these streets re-named for MLK rather missing the mark? Wouldn't it be more appropriate to re-name mountains?

What do fish think of air bubbles floating upward? Imagine if you were walking along, and a huge water bubble burst from the ground and floated straight up?

Anytime four or more people of the same gender gather together, critical thinking is about to get its ass kicked.

Life-Ain't-Fair dept.: Some wimyn have a period, others have an ellipsis.

I am sick and tired of martial arts schools suckering the small-minded with their pretense of "spirituality". Spirituality and ass-kicking are antithetical - end of story.

Do left-handed people have a lower sex drive? They must, else why would there be so few of them!

Sexual dysfunction is everywhere these days. I'm not exempt, i have chronic situational impotence - i can't get an erection with another person, unless that person is giving me a tarot reading. "Oh yeah, baby, ohhhh yeah...ohh who's your queen of cups, who's your queen of cups?"

Hot Mama

wrob's music videos

A list - greatest concert ever

B list - specialty occasions

C list - oblivion

I sometimes dream of bringing this one back...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcNm2_HAzCQ

not-ends 45

The fist bump - America's way of saying "I'm really not comfortable touching other people".

Ah, the broken mirror...fortunately for some, seven years' bad luck is a step in the right direction.

I have anus dermatitis. One of the recommended medical treatments is daily exposure to sunlight. May i get a doctor's note?

Which of the following video games is fake? Super Columbine Massacre!, Muslim Massacre, Custer's Revenge (in which the player dodges arrows to rape an indian tied to a cactus), Rapeplay (in which the player rapes a mother and her adolescent daughters), or Gandhi: The Salty Dog, in which the player leads protesters to the sea to make salt in defiance of colonial occupiers?

How can "softly used" and "hardly used" mean the same thing?

Show me someone wise in the ways of romance, and i'll show you an octogenarian.

To call alcoholism or addiction a disease, is to mangle the meaning of that term beyond recognition. There is no element of choice in cancer. Alcoholism is a behavior that gets ingrained into our synaptic pathways - the more we drink, the larger those pathways become. Pathways can be shrunk again...but to understand how hard that can be, imagine being told that you could never again listen to music. How many days, months, or years would you be able to resist? Do you imagine you would never, ever backslide?

Why do we never hear astrology buffs talking about Uranus being in retrograde?

The most impossible aspect of protecting someone, is choosing whether to protect them from themselves.

T-shirt: (front) VIRGINIA IS FOR LOVERS (back) WEST VIRGINIA IS FOR FUCKERS

The world's biggest secret? Wimyn like sex more than men. In retrospect, it's pretty obvious...

Unreliable Dongle Blues

wrob's music videos

A list - greatest concert ever

B list - specialty occasions

C list - oblivion

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edxbp_2h9eA

not-ends 35

America's leading export is culture. Here are America's four biggest businesses:
1) Manufacturing machines of death.
2) Selling socially-acceptable liquids that impair judgment and disable inhibitions.
3) Selling an invisible best friend who can do ANYTHING.
4) Selling pieces of paper that might make you instantly rich in a world where babies starve.
That squishy sound you hear may be your head shifting in your ass.

I propose a new Olympic sport - the 100-meter backward sprint.

There are a few words we feminists don't seem to be in a rush to re-brand; i haven't heard anyone talking about a henchperson, flim-flam person, fall person, or con person.

If abortion is a crime, is sex a misdemeanor?

People use the phrase "mind-numbing job" as though there are ANY psychologically healthy, day-after-day eight-hour tasks.

Using their own logic, isn't it fair to ask people who believe in an afterlife, what's after the afterlife?

There's something strange going on in the shift from the word "woman" to "women". The second syllable gets spelled differently, but pronounced the same. The first syllable doesn't change, yet gets a new pronunciation. Something fishy there...

If you think wisdom and serenity go hand in hand, you've experienced neither.

Do i have a "savior complex"? Anyone who doesn't, isn't really paying attention.

How about the backwards long jump? Or the backwards javelin? Hey, don't look at me like i'm crazy - i didn't invent the backstroke.

I hereby institute a new rule for all sexual relationships - the Freebie! When a couple break up, each partner is entitled to one sexual freebie with each other. A Freebie comes with no strings. Conversation is optional. The period in which freebies can be claimed mirrors the length of the given relationship. Thus, if a couple were together eleven months, they each have eleven months to claim their Freebie. If a couple were together for decades, you may have to honor that knock on your door when you're ninety-three (go get 'em, tiger). Dalliances of less than a month get no Freebie privileges. The Freebie must be honored no matter how the relationship ended. I considered exempting wankers from freebie rights, but if you got involved with a wanker, you have no one to blame but yourself.

Angel's Feet

wrob's music videos

A list - greatest concert ever

B list - specialty occasions

C list - oblivion

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l31fit0-WcE

not-ends 42

So often we celebrate "progress", without thinking about the cost. Like the legalization of pot - has anyone considered what happens to the marijuana dogs? Just retrain them to sniff out bombs or anthrax? Make them service dogs, until they end up drinking away the memories of when life was exciting? How many will end up on the street, with little tin cups? Nobody asks these questions. Nobody cares!

Is it body-shaming to point out fake boobs...or is it shaming body-shaming?

If two guys are fucking sheep, and one realizes that the other is fucking a male, will he say "What the hell is wrong with you??"

Our fascination with futuristic and prehistoric monsters seems endless. Has anyone considered that this is partly because we've driven extinct most of the super-predators we've ever met?

Why do we measure cars in "horsepower"? Doesn't that reinforce the notion that horses are slaves? I'm just saying, if cars had been invented during the slave trade, wouldn't that word have been...i'll let you finish that thought.

Why don't i believe in god? Because 0% of scientific evidence supports it, and 100% of psychological evidence is against it. As a culture, our primary traits are arrogance and fear. Of COURSE we would invent a get-out-of-death-free card. Whether god exists or not, it is INCONCEIVABLE that humans wouldn't invent a get-out-of-death-free card.

Is there anything more frustrating than watching a dvd all the way through, only to discover an unrated version in the special features?

If you add up the times we do the wrong thing, plus the times we do the right thing for the wrong reason, any leftover behavior is statistically insignificant.

The vulcan neck pinch is priceless...but would all those alien species have that nerve in exactly the same spot? Isn't it more realistic that, say, the nerve might be on the buttocks for the butch lesbian race of Alamagorda IV? "Spock, this queen butch lesbian is giving us a lotta sass...can you do something?" "That would be unwise, captain".

Wouldn't it be funny if we died, and discovered there IS an afterlife...but that this life is an easy gift compared to how hard the next one is? Wouldn't that be funny?

Hyena clitorises are larger than hyena penises. Ladies, could you get evolving in that direction? I would fondle ALL your clits if i could find the damn things.

Self-Delusion

wrob's music videos

A list - greatest concert ever

B list - specialty occasions

C list - oblivion

Hanging tight to B, though i haven't performed it in over a year...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_FbI40Ol6o

not-ends 40

Understanding human nature by observing people, is like studying bananas by watching monkey poop.

Depression, PTSD...there is a cure for most of the psychological ailments that cripple our society. Force the sufferer to laugh...a lot. Force them to be held...every day. It sounds simplistic, but is more effective (and ridiculously cheaper) than a shrink.

Integrity is measured by scorn, not admiration.

WIDOW: (n.) A person who got very tired of being a wife.

The aforementioned laughter/touch therapy will do nothing to address the root causes of depression...but neither will conventional therapy. The only thing that possibly could is a one-way ticket to Alpha Centauri.

I know that physics doesn't have a sense of humor...yet why, when i sleep, do my top blanket, middle blanket, and sheet each drift in an entirely different direction?

The second-hardest challenge of the spirit path is separating intuition from projection.

Studies reveal that that the average adult operates at the mental level of a sixteen year-old. The truly frightening part of that, as carlin would say, is that half the people are dealing with this world on a LESS than sixteen year-old level.

Belief in god prevents us from seeing the world as it is, which is a staggering obstacle in fixing our problems. Faith encourages the thought that things happen for a reason, and that good and evil are real. This encourages the idea that positivity and negativity are balanced...which is where the believer spins off the tracks, for there is no such balance (inherent or otherwise). Currently, worldly positivity is getting its ass kicked by a stunningly wide margin, and if we prevent ourselves from SEEING that, we will never feel the proper urgency over what we are doing to others, to ourselves, and all life.

Being non-racist is a luxury only white people can afford.

These DVD special features are amazing! I just got the new release of MY DINNER WITH ANDRE, and it includes the long-lost 1928 silent version.

YouTube Hottie

wrob's music videos

A list - greatest concert ever

B list - specialty occasions

C list - oblivion

This would have been a keeper, if it didn't feel so costume-reliant.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWrrWxGvrl4

not-ends 47

Humans process reality through head, heart, or hormone. In matters of love & sex, men use only heart and hormone (and if they do use head, they're probably up to no good). Wimyn use head...whether this is because they are more integrated, or is a simple cultural defense mechanism, remains to be seen.

When you're young, it's hard to say no. When you're old, it's hard to say yes.

Heads are idiotic, hormones are honest, and hearts are confused.

Marriage should be ALL about the ring. A married person should be able to transfer their spouse to someone else, simply by slipping their ring on that third person. Wherever the ring goes, the spouse goes!

Hide nothing. Expect nothing.

If money's the root of evil, what's the square root?

The only way to measure whether a man is truly in love? If he has sexual fantasies about a womyn for over a month, and none of her friends or relatives make an appearance.

Religious tolerance is great. Tolerance of religion is not.

If you're not reading books that are painful, you're not reading the right books.

You're not ready to be someone's lover, until it doesn't matter whether you do.

The two most insidious american delusions are that America is a democracy, and Russia and China were communist.

Dinosaur Dreams

wrob's music videos

A list - greatest concert ever

B list - specialty occasions

C list - oblivion

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXoQKY77lR8 

Unless Rich People

wrob's music videos

A list - greatest concert ever

B list - specialty occasions

C list - oblivion

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIXrmPJxZo0

not-ends 34

Why do we refrigerate mushrooms? Are you worried about fungus growing on your fungus?

Death is the most inevitable feature of human existence...but in this culture, death-denial makes a hard push for that top spot.

Women are to makeup, as people of color are to christianity. Put THAT on your SAT.

I get so excited when a politician announces their intention to get "tough on crime". Since poverty is the primary cause of crime, that means they're going to devote their time in office to eliminating poverty, right? That's what they mean, right?

In a dysfunctional society, strangeness becomes the norm, and "normal" people have no clue how strange they really are.

Is there a single man alive who has never wondered whether baby showers involve some kind of ritual bathing of the expectant mother, with female hands all over her naked body? Don't be too hard on men, we're freaking sexually repressed over here.

If abortion became legally MANDATORY for any unmarried or poor woman, all the pro-choicers would quickly join the anti-abortionists to fight that new law tooth and nail. The only frightening part of this equation is realizing how many pro-lifers would decide that abortion is maybe okay after all.

Where is the believer who has enough intelligence to realize that if heaven and hell are real, we are very likely in one of them right now?

I crapped a pretzel today. I don't mean i ate a pretzel yesterday and crapped it today, i mean i left a crap today that lay in the bowl in a perfect pretzel shape. I'm just saying, if that turd had been shaped like a crucifix, i'd be set for LIFE.

One of the most impossible steps on the spirit path is severing your life from the creation and maintenance of your personal mythology. For how can one make such a spiritual leap, without it being a defining moment in your life story?

Always remember, smart people are just intelligent idiots. And if you prove me wrong, you'll prove me right.

not-ends 48

When do i get my forty acres and a four-legged slave?

I can be trusted with anything, except idiotic secrets. And most secrets are idiotic.

Find the one person in your life who tells you they can't be trusted. They might be the only person you CAN trust.

Spiritual humility has nothing to do with a higher power. Spiritual humility is about refusing to believe something simply because you WANT to believe it.

True love is discovering someone is an idiot, and not caring. Come to think of it, that's also the definition of true lust.

Art requires an open heart. Making a living in art requires a closed heart.

Third-wave feminism. Contradiction-in-terms?

Spirituality isn't about power. It's about the absence of power.

God is a test. Not of faith, but intelligence.

All teenagers should be made to look in a mirror and repeat 1000 times, "Sex and love have NOTHING to do with each other."

People tell me they're obsessed with how forgettable i am.

Someone for Me

wrob's music videos

A list - greatest concert ever

B list - specialty occasions

C list - oblivion

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RMOmgcb4LI

Donald, Bezos, and Bill

wrob's music videos

A list - greatest concert ever

B list - specialty occasions

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Discuss.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSRHRp0IL6M

Biofuel Blues

wrob's music videos

A list - greatest concert ever

B list - specialty occasions

C list - oblivion

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvecp8b_c7A

Don't Miss You Much

wrob's music videos

A list - greatest concert ever

B list - specialty occasions

C list - oblivion

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NnstZCn_f24

Adrift

wrob's music videos

A list - greatest concert ever

B list - specialty occasions

C list - oblivion

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8r3PWyeoK-Y

Fun to Squeeze

wrob's music videos

A list - greatest concert ever

B list - specialty occasions

C list - oblivion

A fun rocker i had hopes for, but it died ignominiously when one audience member questioned whether it was about pawing wimyn. Sometimes i think it's a minor miracle ALL songs aren't completely misinterpreted.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_FNpZObzlg

Ally

wrob's music videos

A list - greatest concert ever

B list - specialty occasions

C list - oblivion

Too curious and challenging, so i never performed it live. I don't like the term "ally", as it has the power to marginalize certain people at events which are supposedly protests AGAINST marginalization. I'm not an ally, i'm just a person, just like you. It puzzles me that bell hooks used this term at the end of her life, as it seems inconsistent with her earlier anti-marginalization stance. Are there any hooks scholars out there who can shed any light on this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6gqkeDcErU

BW Blue

wrob's music videos

A list - greatest concert ever

B list - specialty occasions

C list - oblivion

Intersectionalitea time...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jImu0bJczw

Happy Geezer Day

wrob's music videos

A list - greatest concert ever

B list - specialty occasions

C list - oblivion

Why don't we hear the happy birthday song in movies? Because the royalty rate for the song's use is ridiculously pricey. So i fixed the problem, with this instant classic! Directors, line up.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6wNv7OnH10

D.O.A.

Depression or addiction, sex to booze

What's your poison, what'll you use

Depression or addiction, doughnuts to booze

What's your poison, what'll you choose

Adrenaline junkies on the insane train

Maybe just a dog, to dull the pain

Unconditional cuddles, love bath for the brain

A cry for help, shelter from the rain

Depression or addiction, sex to booze

What's your poison, what'll you use

Depression or addiction, doughnuts to booze

What's your poison, what'll you choose

TV addiction, characters we love

Our brains don't know it ain't real

Our favorite characters, closest friends

Hearts and subscriptions they steal

Depression or addiction, sex to booze

What's your poison, what'll you use

Depression or addiction, doughnuts to booze

What's your poison, what'll you choose

Addicted to politics and partisan obsession

Those talking heads talking to me

Or online gaming with folk you'll never know

Safe in virtual community

Depression depression, that black black shroud

You'd kill yourself but you can't leave your bed

You look fine, the idiot said

Automatic pilot for the walking dead

Addicted to music, addicted to work

Addicted to lovers who treat you like a jerk

Addicted to gambling, craving caffeine

Addicted to shopping, maybe nicotine

Anti-depressants make me go ahhh

Addicted to sports, rah rah rah

Addicted to mushrooms or maybe pot

Addicted to rehab, well why not

Addicted to internet, addicted to porn

How do you get out of bed in the morn

Addicted to painkillers, how poetic

Addicted to god, how pathetic

Depression or addiction, sex to booze

What's your poison, what'll you use

Depression or addiction, doughnuts to booze

What's your poison, what'll you choose

Depression or addiction, sex to booze

What's your poison, what'll you use

Depression or addiction, doughnuts to booze

What's your poison, what'll you choose

Deep-Fried Twinkies

The japanese are sushi, frightening but healthy

The swiss are chocolate, smooth and wealthy

Canadians are syrup, sweet and willing

The french are croissants, philosophical and filling

But americans are deep-fried twinkies

with a dusting of crack

Americans are deep-fried twinkies

Did they leave? Boom boom, they're back

The fins are squeaky cheese, finicky and fumfery

The greek are omelets, humpty dumfery

Salvadoreans are pupasas, ready and reliable

Peruvians are banana balls, prim and pliable

But americans are deep-fried twinkies

with a dusting of crack

Americans are deep-fried twinkies

Did they leave? Boom boom, they're back

The best country ever? Maybe, just maybe

The worst country ever? You bet your bum, baby

The russians are vodka, strong and stern

The chinese are mooncakes, ready to learn

The indians are curry, spicy and gay

The irish are potatoes, such a price they've had to pay

But americans are deep-fried twinkies

with a dusting of crack

Americans are deep-fried twinkies

Did they leave? Boom boom, they're back

Merryland

Have you been to the land where everyone lends a hand

and the beaches have purple sand

Merryland (Merryland)

Merry-merryland (Merryland)

Have you been to the land where the music is grand

and granny plays glockenspiel in a heavy metal band

Merryland (Merryland)

Merrymerryland (Merryland)

Have you been to the land where greed is banned

and democracy always in demand

Merryland (Merryland)

Merrymerryland (Merryland)

Have you been to the land where harmony is at hand

and pregnancy never unplanned

Merryland (Merryland)

Merrymerryland (Merryland)

Come visit soon, take a right at the Rio Grande

Then a left at Lapland

Merryland (Merryland)

Merrymerryland (Merryland)

Hey Singer

Sing a song that's amazing, make me laugh make me cry

A song that makes me wonder why

Sing a song that's amazing

A song that saves the world and brings a brighter day

A song that makes me say it's gonna be okay

A song that forgives the blind, broken things we do

A song that reboots the selfish things i did to you

Sing a song that's amazing, make me laugh make me cry

A song that makes me wonder why

Sing a song that's amazing

A song about a world where no one needs to steal

And no one's afraid to shout out what we feel

A song that fixes the wounds that never heal

And no one posts videos of a murdered baby seal

Sing a song that's amazing, make me laugh make me cry

A song that makes me wonder why

Sing a song that's amazing

Where the voices of the few don't drown the many

with perfect contraception that don't cost a penny

A song of rebirth for this humyn catastrophe

A song that brings my sweetie, my sweetie back to me

A song that fills our lives with all we'll need

A song that ends all the alienation and greed

A song that makes it sweet for silly lovers to breed

A song that makes our species the galaxy's loving seed

Sing a song that's amazing, make me laugh make me cry

A song that makes me wonder why

Sing a song that's amazing

Waymo Driver

When i was a youth i read a book to learn the color of my parachute

I took the quiz, afraid of life in a suit

I tallied my score

Something fun, i implore

The book said, here's your life ahead

You're gonna be a Waymo driver

My guidance counselor said here's your aptitude test

You're strangely different from the rest

We found your niche, not poor not rich

Then she said here's your life ahead

You'll be a Waymo driver

Dog catcher at the South Pole

Firefighter in Atlantis

Grief counselor in Heaven

Where's my vocational bliss

I went to a job fair

The reps were so cheery

But they got glassy eyes when i offered this query

Why don't i see some job for me

Why do i dread this life ahead

Give a honk and a wave, and some sympathy save for the Waymo driver

Abortion Song

Here's a song, here's a song, here's a song i wrote

The abortion song, the abortion song, men don't get a vote

It's got a dingy and a dugout and other things that float

The abortion song, the abortion song, men don't get a vote

The ovary-free stick your two cents in your throat

The abortion song, the abortion song, men don't get a vote

Here's my abortion thought, my heartfelt testimony

A man legislating abortion, is like a pony up a tree

A thousand rapes a day in the town of Terre Haute

The abortion song, the abortion song, men don't get a vote

For patriarchal poison we need an antidote

The abortion song, the abortion song, men don't get a vote

If you need a male opinion, go interview a goat

The abortion song, the abortion song, men don't get a vote

I've never had an abortion and i never ever will

I've never worn the patch and never taken the pill

If you want self-serving shite, ask a man for a quote

The abortion song, the abortion song, men don't get a vote

Ernestine rose was a freedom fighter of note

The abortion song, the abortion song, men don't get a vote

Let's make patriarchy an historical footnote

The abortion song, the abortion song, men don't get a vote

Back-alley abortions, too high a price to pay

100 wimyn dead every single day

All the womyn-haters it 's time to demote

The abortion song, the abortion song, men don't get a vote

If you seek some sense, see what RBG wrote

The abortion song, the abortion song, men don't get a vote

Here's a song, here's a song, here's a song i wrote

The abortion song, the abortion song, men don't get a vote

Mississippi Freeway

Medgar's knocking on the door, been gone so long

Set the table, we're gonna sing a song

On the Mississippi freeway

Mississippi free

Mississippi freeway, comin' home to me

Fannie's limping home but she's standing proud

Her voice is ringing so clear and loud

On the Mississippi freeway

Mississippi free

Mississippi freeway, comin' home to me

Leontyne and ida laughing in the den

Happy days, here they are again

Freeways coming from sea to shining sea

Freeways for you, you and me

Richard's coming home, been in Mexico and France

Everybody gather round, we're gonna sing and dance

Mississippi freeway

Mississippi free

Mississippi freeway, comin' home to me

The Jailing Wall

Can anyone please poke a hole in this argument?

Immigration.

Trump's central platform.

Let's assume that immigration is a problem...even though i've not heard any convincing argument to that effect. But for the sake of discussion, let's assume it IS a problem.

If so, trump could end it within a week.

Start with the question, why do undocumented migrants come here? Because we financially incentivize them to do so. They know they can make HUGE amounts of money here, with or without work papers.

So THEY did not create the problem, yes? We did. And to end this, all trump would have to do is get a law passed that makes it illegal for anyone without proper documentation to earn money in the U.S. Then make the penalty for breaking that law so off-the-charts severe, that NO employer, public or private, would dare break it.

Bingo, done. Problem 100% solved, in about a week. Then trump could move on to real problems.

But to pull back this curtain would be to admit our hypocrisy. We WANT illegals here, to do the work we don't want to do. Since slavery's not legal anymore, we want them here as a powerless and exploitable work force.

"Dangerous" immigrants, by the way, including and especially illegals, are more law-abiding than natural citizens.

Donald knows all this. Does his insistence on this phantom problem allow him to create a money train, involving the incarceration of illegals? 90% of all detainees are not kept in INS facilities, but in private, for-profit prisons. Do you imagine that that's a gravy train without kickbacks? Do you imagine someone's not making fortunes off unimaginable suffering?

Have you ever heard of the fallacy of attacking the branches of a problem, while ignoring the roots? That's all that this wall nonsense ever was.

Can anyone poke a hole in this?

Anyone?

Cage

Don't free me from the cage, i'll hallow your holy temple, don't free me

Don't free me from the cage, i'll exalt you eternally, don't free me

Don't free me from the cage, i'll ignite your phoenix, don't free me

Don't free me from the cage, i'll banish the pretenders, don't free me

Show your shadows the light

Make our hell alright

See your garden grow

Feel your waters flow

Don't free me from the cage, i'll lay waste your walls, don't free me

Don't free me from the cage, i'll extinguish your ego, don't free me

Don't free me from the cage, i'll make you a porn star, don't free me

Don't free me from the cage, i'll rewrite your DNA, don't free me

Show your shadows the light

Make our hell alright

See your garden grow

Feel your waters flow

trump v. kamala

As America slumps into trump 2.0, we're asked to believe that this time he won the popular vote!

In my half-century, i've never had such a hard time believing any such result could be possible.

When trump appeared again as a candidate, i gave him no chance of winning his party's nomination. As ducks go, he seemed deceased-beyond-doubt. He'd lost the previous election by seven million - a drubbing of devastating proportion.

Even if he did well in the primaries, it didn't seem possible the republicans would allow themselves to be represented by an historically-divisive candidate who needed to swing more than three million votes to his side. Trump's personality and policies are so polarizing, the idea of anyone changing their mind about him seems...beyond dubious.

In other words, "undecideds" and trump seem mutually exclusive.

On top of that, what were trump's main accomplishments in the four years since losing to biden? What things would be foremost in people's minds? He incited a riot, and became a convicted felon.

As you might expect, riots and felons poll EXTREMELY low among conservatives. I suspect that most of us know at least one conservative (especially veterans or police) who voted for trump in 2020, but refused to ever do so again. So beyond the need to sway three million who had voted against him, he had also lost a percentage of his own base. Therefore my confusion was at its peak NOT after the general election, but the primaries. It just felt inconceivable that the republicans would allow this to happen, unless they knew something we all didn't.

There was one factor working in trump's favor. In the past four years, eighteen states enacted voter suppression laws targeting minorities. So any republican candidate was going to do better. But over three million votes? No.

Due to trump's assault on wimyn's rights AND the presence of a female rival, it was a bedrock certainty that he would lose the female vote.

Due to the racist label around his neck AND the presence of a rival of color, it was a bedrock certainty that he would lose the black vote.

We're asked to believe that hispanics went his way? For them, the number one image associated with trump is brown children crying in cages.

We're asked to believe that RFK supporters jumped to trump? I can believe some democrats lost faith in biden/harris. But to propose that any liberal could love their preferred candidate enough to accept donald as an eleventh-hour alternative? Simply not credible.

Trump's numbers went up among the very young? This is the most troubling allegation - partly because i can confirm the possibility. I know one person voting in their first election, whom i'd call smart and caring...yet he DID vote for trump. One would think the young would be the MOST immune to trump's old, white fear/hate rhetoric...

Did America's racist/sexist demons squeak out one last gasp? That seems a shaky proposition, because we've already elected a president of color, and a female president.

They say that with every new election, you have to throw the previous results out. Trump lost in 2020 because of covid, which wasn't hanging around his neck this time? Under normal circumstances, that might be true. But again...historically-divisive.

There is an unscientific flavor to this analysis. But i think it's worth sharing, because my circle of association is wide. I have a blue collar job, but also walk in the white-collar world, due to artistic and family connections.

For the first time in my life, this just doesn't feel credible.

Monkey Heaven

The last monkey in the last tree in the last jungle climbs higher

He climbs so fast, leaps so far but so does the fire

And when he can climb no more

he hears the fire roar

He pees on the flames, and wonders does his hair look good

Is his breath minty fresh

And he looks up for monkey heaven

Monkey heaven

An orange orang on the last hole of the last golf course at the North Pole

Misses the putt, kicks it in

His sweater says "Win Baby Win"

He drinks the last Perrier

and shouts for monkey heaven

Glacier National Park, Glacier National Park, Glacier National Park needs a new name

Glacier National Park, old joan of arc she's fanning the flame

The last rapist, a rapist apeist, cuddles his life-size rubber doll

Doll's got AI, doll can cry

Doll can wonder why why why

Rapist looks to the sky

The doll says ain't no monkey heaven

No More Blues

The millionaire went for a stroll

He saw a child die

He looked poverty in the eye

He said my my, i won't be a millionaire no more

The general went for a stroll

He saw death everywhere

Soldiers raping without care

He said i declare, i won't be a killer no more

The preacher went for a stroll

He saw a televangelist show

screaming things no one can know

He said hey ho, i won't be a preacher no more

The CEO went for a stroll

He saw an ocean had died

Dolphin bodies in the tide

He cried and cried, i won't be a CEO no more

No more, no more no more

No more killers hoarders rapers no more

Let's be, oh let's be

one silly, gentle humyn family

It's time, oh it's time

to make our song the sweetest rhyme

Free Love

I want a free lunch, and a free show

Show us what you got, let everybody know

I wanna be free from bombs above

but most of all i want free love

Gimme gimme gimme free love

Amor libre

I want a free pass, and a free ride

Clothes-free, nothing to hide

I want someone to pull the leg of

but most of all i want free love

Gimme gimme gimme free love

Mukt prem

I don't wanna freebase, don't wanna freeload

Don't wanna roll in the middle of the road

I want a free hand and a free trial

I want free hugs with a free smile

Here's a notion i think the world of

A world of free love

Gimme gimme gimme free love

Ziyuu na ai

Gimme gimme gimme free love

Vilna lubov

Gimme gimme gimme free love

Nesafikuh

Gimme gimme gimme free love

Plastic Jesus

Buddha thinks i'm dumber than a tree

Vishnu wanna squash me like a bug

Muhammed gonna flush me down the crapper

Somebody up there give me a hug

Plastic jesus loves me, plastic jesus loves me

But i'm getting magic mormon underwear

Just in case

Vulcan wants to burn my ass

Beerus wanna boil my bum

Poseidon gonna make me fishbait

Glorificus thinks i'm ho-hum

Plastic jesus loves me, plastic jesus loves me

But i'm getting magic mormon underwear

Just in case

He loves me, this i know

Save me from the burning below

On my dashboard swaying to and fro

In my little globe full of snow

Odin wants to smite me low

Jahweh wanna toss me in the fire

Joseph smith gonna give me a divorce

I need a free pass to the heavenly choir

Plastic jesus loves me, plastic jesus loves me

But i'm wearing magic mormon underwear

Just in case

USA

A nation built on idealistic dreams

But hypocrisy has always split our seams

If you want to be safe, you need bags o' money

911's a joke that really ain't funny

If you're poor or brown, you go to jail

Prison country clubs for the rich white male

Corrupt corporations cannot fail, we're the USA

Our local representatives we do not know

We know our ballplayers, go team go!

We're the country that killed snow, we're the USA

Rich wankers addicted to adrenaline thrills

Everyone else addicted to pain pills

As a species, we're so rich it's absurd

Universal Basic Income, beautiful words

Big Oil has one million lobbyists

who send the Supreme Court on vacation trysts

Humyns on the endangered species list, we're the USA

We love our guns, there's injuns out there!

We're deregulated beyond compare

Religion never pays its share, we're the USA

Fattest country ever, 'cause bad food's so cheap

We got swamps of bullshit a mile deep

All hail the commander-in-creep, we're the USA

Electoral college erases democracy

We let the loser steal victory

Allergic to integrity, we're the USA

Spending trillions on military tools

Not so much on infrastructure and schools

And nothing on the arts, what fools, we're the USA

Murder House

On the other side of the tracks

Near the town dump

Under the power lines

in the floodplain

That's where you'll find me

in the murder house

In the wrong part of town

Infrastructure rundown

Behind belching factories

Dark soot in the breeze

That's where you'll find me

in the murder house

Downstream from factory farm

Tapwater toxic harm

Beneath nuclear towers

Cheap rent, no flowers

Beyond the red line

Dollar-store cider's fine

The lights all flash red

Hope DOA dead

That's where you'll find me

in the murder house

We'll play musical chairs

in the murder house

We'll play Mousetrap

in the murder house

Mahjong

in the murder house

Mustachio

in the murder house

Tombstone Song

I've got a few words for my grave

A tin treasure from a lonely life

I don't need a plot or a stone

to celebrate this shitstorm of strife

If you remember me be kind

If you don't i won't much care

For i won't be around to hear

I won't be anywhere

I don't have much use

for being honored or entombed

But these words might leave some light

on this planet of the doomed

"Hide nothing, expect nothing"

"Hide nothing, expect nothing"

"Hide nothing, expect nothing"

I'm not saying these words bring joy

They're probably not even wise

Don't expect an excess of success

They might be a booby prize

An open heart can get you scalded

An open heart can get you smacked

An open mouth might get you scorned

An open mouth might get you attacked

But in a world where nothing's free

expectations are crass company

And in this abyss of alienation

open hearts are a revelation

"Hide nothing, expect nothing"

"Hide nothing, expect nothing"

"Hide nothing, expect nothing"

So that's all i've got for you

Go on now and go

I hope you didn't need more

from this melancholy minstrel show

I'll fight the urge to add on

Ego is a gluttonous beast

But if you're here for my sendoff

just send away the priest

And if i'm not quite dead

give me some lovin' instead

'Til the day we dearly depart

all we need is an open heart

"Hide nothing, expect nothing"

"Hide nothing, expect nothing"

"Hide nothing, expect nothing"

Donald Trump Cries

There's a lonely man in a lonely house

From demons he cannot hide

He yells at the servants and yells at his wife

They don't see how he hurts inside

But late at night when everyone's asleep

he crawls inside the closet to weep

Into the carpet his tears seep

And he cries, how donald trump cries

For poisoned seas and polluted skies

For dirty deeds and shaky alibis

How donald cries

Do you know what loneliness can do

How to heal when your own child hates you

When the world demands that you be strong

Who can we blame for what's wrong

So late at night when everyone's asleep

he crawls inside the closet to weep

Into his hairpiece his tears seep

And he cries, how donald trump cries

For all the corporate crimes and lies

For mean jokes about his hair dyes and ties

How donald cries

He dreams of a better day

Multi-cultural children laugh and play

Education, health care humyn rights

And we all have somewhere to sleep at night

He remembers when they sent his momma away

and daddy taught him love was pretty gay

He remembers all the walls in his childhood home

Walls are the only thing he's ever known

So late at night when everyone's asleep

he crawls inside the closet to weep

Into her dresses his tears seep

And he cries, how donald trump cries

Over abortion he does agonize

Haunted by his victims' eyes

Hiding from Kremlin spies

With his Big Mac and fries

How donald trump cries

Make America Gay Again

Make America gay again, hips and hoorays

Make America gay again, remember the good old gays

Oh whitman, my whitman, sing a song of ourself

Take those leaves of ass off the shelf

James buchanan, bachelor for life

Mr. president don't need no wife

James baldwin's books so searing

Giovanni's Room left open hearts tearing

Make America gay again, hips and hoorays

Make America gay again, remember the good old gays

Audre lord, eloquent and adored

Our intersectional lioness who roared

Anderson cooper super duper

Freedom for all from pussy to pooper

Ellen degeneres ain't no degenerate

On network TV, the truth she rendered it

Make America gay again, hips and hoorays

Make America gay again, remember the good old gays

Sodomy laws stick in my craw

The Pansy Craze changed our ways

The Lavender Scare all hot air

Homophile Movement, sweetness-sent

Time for a Cooper Donuts Riot

Our voices will not be quiet

Compton's Cafe to Stonewall

Freedom means freedom for all

Neil patrick harris, fabulous and fun

My gay icon #1

Lil naz x collects royalty checks

while having biblically-forbidden sex

Gritty the sports goon, sang a gay tune

Shoot rainbow flags to the moon

J. edgar hoover, patron saint of freaky deaky

A bedroom queen, on the streets so squeaky

Liberace liberace, i cannot be impartial

In the gay parade my grand marshal

Make America gay again, hips and hoorays

Make America gay again, remember the good old gays

"Sliders"

-created by tracy torme and robert k. weiss

1995-2000

Oh great googily. The humynity. The utter humynity.

Hindenburg.

Titanic.

Mondale.

Can you look away?

Well, perhaps, as it turns out. Obey that instinct! The first time i tried to watch, a decade or so ago, i bailed within a few episodes. It was patently clear there was no brilliance on the writing staff - a show with middling writing and nothing to say. The best you can hope for is an occasional "not awful".

Sorry, all you second- and third-rate would-be franchises. Life ain't fair when TREK rules the roost.

But what you won't see if you only catch the first season, is the carnage to come. Like rats jumping ship, cast regulars fall away with shocking...regularity. By the end, there's only one original clinging to the side. And in this case, it's ringo...or rather, rembrant (cleavant derricks - MOSCOW ON THE HUDSON, THEA), the least-resonant lead (through no fault of his own - as originally written, the character embodied cringeworthy racist tropes).

The story? Science prodigy accidentally invents a portal to parallel worlds, in his basement. Four reluctant travelers discover they can't get home, as they leap from alternate Earth to alternate Earth.

Tracy (SNL, STAR TREK TNG) and robert (POLICE SQUAD!, THE NAKED GUN) are long-gone by the end as well. Other casualties include the almost-adequate jerry o'connell (STAND BY ME, JERRY MAGUIRE), the redoubtable sabrina lloyd (SPORTS NIGHT, ED), and the ripping john rhys-davies (RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK, STAR TREK VOYAGER).

In other words, ample potential. Well-funded, with at least half the cast capable of nuanced work. But alas...

Beautiful Insanity

A lifetime lost inside my head

Roller coasters of ecstasy and dread

Is it a dream, is it really me

We long we long we all long

for beautiful insanity

Born to be naked, naked up a tree

Sucking fruit like a happy bee

Rat race road ain't for me

We long we long we all long

for beautiful insanity

Insanity, set me free

Insanity by papal decree

Insanity, cinematic soliloquy

Insanity, in you and me

Flying beyond mundanity

Self-loathing holy orthodoxy

Is it a dream, is it really me

We long we long we all long

for beautiful insanity

The Fire

You can hide from the heat, you can hide from the man

You can hide from the mob inside a garbage can

You can hide from your ex, hide from the IRS

You can hide from your kids, hide from your mess

You can hide from yourself, you're such a good liar

But you can't hide from the fire

You can flee the flood, and flee the bees

You can flee tyranny or live on your knees

You can flee your job, tunnel out of jail

You can flee from baseball-sized hail

You can flee yourself, you're such a good liar

But you can't flee the fire

There's a burning, got your name

Sinner saint, all the same

End of the tunnel, ain't no light

Only dark, eternal night

You can run from your past, run from your dreams

You can run from the storm and run from the screams

You can run from war, you can run from the beast

You can run from the wicked witch of the east

You can run from yourself, you're such a good liar

But you can't run from the fire

Dance on Your Grave

You've been insufferable since the day i was born

If life is a rose you're a 2-ton thorn

The cemetery finally, not here to mourn

I've got confetti, your plot to adorn as i

Dance on your grave, dance on your grave

If i had a choir we'd do the wave

Dance on your grave, dance on your grave

Shuffle shuffle hop, wiggle wiggle pop

You were always a pain in the ass

So i've come to fertilize the grass

Mother teresa applauds my class

Dalai lama's got a quartet of brass to

Dance on your grave, dance on your grave

If i had a choir we'd do the wave

Dance on your grave, dance on your grave

Shuffle shuffle hop, wiggle wiggle pop

In death you're finally fun

Farewell, public enema number 1

Your bloviating finally done

As georgie said, here comes the sun

Dance on your grave, dance on your grave

If i had a choir we'd do the wave

Dance on your grave, dance on your grave

Shuffle shuffle hop, wiggle wiggle pop