Monday, January 5, 2015

naked nurse 3

SOOTHING OUR SOCIAL/SPIRITUAL/SEXUAL STRIFE

Dear naked nurse,
Orgasm-faking - yay or nay?
curious in Carlsbad

Dear curious,
Once when i was receiving a righteous snarling, my lover was eventually eager for me to "conclude". I could tell she wanted the big boom. I had told her that oral sex almost never makes me orgasm...but she was so eager and giving, i didn't want to let her down. So i pushed my way onto that plateau. My strainings made for a shabby boom. But it made her happy...which made me happy.
So i get it.
Partly.
Why does orgasm-faking exist? Because humanity is just stepping out from the long shadow of sexual repression, guilt, and shame. What should be a spontaneous, joyous activity is often anything but...and women have had to choke down the brunt of this dehumanization more than men. Only 25% of women have orgasms from intercourse? I'm amazed the number's that high. Come back in a century - that percentage will be at least 50%. In two centuries, woman and man will have returned to the balance that was lost thousands of years ago.
What are the myriad motivations of orgasm-faking?
Sometimes it comes from the desire to make blah sex end.
Sometimes it comes from the desire to be liked...or selfish manipulations (greed, vanity) even more crass. Only a dysfunctional society could impel its members to corrupt the most loving human act. Only a broken world could turn sex into a means to an end, and not an end in itself. The ultimate end of sex is procreation, you say? Nope - that's only half right. Sex is an evolutionary tool by which human society creates and maintains a healthy network of relationships. If you wonder why this world can feel so horribly wrong, look at what we've done to sex.
Sometimes orgasm-faking comes from the desire to make someone feel happy. Or potent! While this motivation is benign, the introduction of deceit (even for noble reasons) into the most primal human sharing is a blindfolded step onto a slippery slope. Even "successful" lies rest on a surface of thin ice. Why play a game both parties can't win?
I can't quite bring myself to say that NO moment of fakery is ever okay, but...
Do you want someone to lie about liking a meal you cooked?
Do you want someone to lie about loving a gift you gave?
Do you want someone to lie about cherishing a poem you penned? A suit you sewed? A bridge you built?
Do you?
Sadly, for some, the answer is yes. Many are trapped in relationships so dysfunctional, that any silver lining, or even the illusion of a lining, is an improvement upon reality.
But that's what's known as a cosmetic improvement.
This world loves cosmetic improvements - somewhere out there, there's a woman you know who allowed a surgeon to "improve" her looks by cutting into her body. She's lying under some man, pretending that his pathetic thrusting is transporting her to nirvana.
Cosmetic improvements.
You deserve better.
Our children deserve better.
mindfully mindless mountings,
the naked nurse

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