Friday, November 27, 2020

"The Stranger in the Woods"

 (The Extraordinary Story of the Last True Hermit)

-by michael finkel

2017

Be prepared to not believe.

Then be prepared to not be able to stop reading.

In 1986, twenty year-old chris knight drove his car through central Maine past the point of no return, then walked into the woods...and didn't come out for twenty-seven years. By "come out", i mean dragged out by the authorities who finally found him after more than a thousand petty larcenies. He would emerge from the woods in the dead of night, to burgle books, batteries, and food from empty vacation homes.

In all those years, he had but one accidental conversation with another person, a two-word exchange with an unknowing hiker.

He survived all those Maine winters without a fire for heat...coming close to death from freezing or starvation numerous times.

He wasn't writing a best-seller. He left a job and functioning childhood family behind, without a word. He intended to live in his hermit's camp, until he died.

The story of chris knight may upend your beliefs about modern society, companionship, and sanity. It may shake you to your core, with both horror AND envy.

Much of the credit for that goes to finkel, whose narrative is little short of perfect. After chris's capture, michael was the only journalist he allowed in his presence. The depth of research is breathtaking, from interviews to analyses of the history and psychology of "solitaries". The hermits of America actually have a dues-paying organization (with website)...and i'm sure chris would have just as much disregard for them as he does for relative dilettantes such as thoreau. When America became fascinated with the chris mccandless saga, knight had already lived utterly alone for a decade...and would continue so for almost two more.

As the story unfolds, HOW and WHY will clang inside your head...though perhaps not everyone will feel resonances of themself in knight's story. And that's just one more facet of the modern humyn tragedy.

Wednesday, November 18, 2020

CEO

(a redirection of john lennon's "How Do You Sleep?")

Your capitalism so predatory
So now our babies live in poverty
Polluted skies and poisoned riverbeds
Pretty soon the oceans all be dead
CEO, how do you sleep?
CEO, how do you sleep at night?

Your underlings always kiss your ass
They'll knife you fast for a ring of brass
For sweat shops and sex rings you pave the way
But in your mansion it's just another day
CEO, how do you sleep?
CEO, how do you sleep at night?

You spread your crumbs with a charity or two 
But the world is wise to the crap you do
You're fading fast from history
One more crime against humanity
CEO, how do you sleep?
CEO, how do you sleep at night?

Saturday, November 14, 2020

barbaria

Water is acid
The Earth ain't flat
Glass is liquid
and that is that

There ain't nine planets
and Russia wasn't commie
Who's your REAL dad?
Go ask mommy

You have no clue
what people think of you
Your knowledge of life
further still from true
Your greatest ignorance by far
(and where worldly discontent breeds)
is seeing WHO you are
and heeding your own needs

Thursday, November 12, 2020

3 billion

Three billion years past we surpassed the muck muck muck

My ancestor said to yours "We need to fuck fuck fuck"

Monday, November 9, 2020

bagpipe

Of this mindfucking morass
never again will i gripe
if i but locate a lass
who cums like a wounded bagpipe

Friday, November 6, 2020

whiff

Universally interpersonally void of clue
Insecure neuroses sabotage me and you
Of rhyme there's naught in aught we do
Our reasons well-seasoned with the whiff of poo