"V"

-created by kenneth johnson
V
V: THE FINAL BATTLE
V (the series)
1983-1985
The great TV event of 1983! Marc Singer was fresh off BEASTMASTER. Despite my esteem for that incandescent project, i nonetheless originally missed almost all of these incarnations. Were one or two moments enough for me to glean that it fell short of greatness, and that the post-STAR WARS visuals were just sad? Well, yes. Seeing the original mini-series in its entirety, you are at once struck with the thought that it's both too short and too long. One feels that the scope of what they were trying to encapsulate, how a civilian resistance can form to an oppressor draped in a cloak of benevolence, could have used another hour or two...but as a one-night affair focusing on Singer's character, it might have packed more entertainment value. Yet there is something noble in johnson's reaching for more. The parallels to nazi Germany, and the unspoken warning that what happened there could happen anywhere, are effectively rendered. You believe that any among us could end up a collaborator. Leonard Cimino (DUNE, THE FRESHMAN) gives a great turn as Abraham Bernstein, who sees the horrors of the Holocaust happening again before anyone else. There are great moments of almost-camp, such as when a high school band plays "Star Wars" to greet the aliens' arrival. In one too-obvious scene, a sympathetic alien offers Donovan her uniform. She had no other scenes, so what were the odds that the stripped-down actress might resemble a member of the Swedish bikini team? Hmmm...oh heck, we'll take it. But under it all is a moral ambiguity usually lacking in Hollywood. Not all the aliens are evil, and many humans act badly. As if that weren't enough, the resistance fighters join together in prayer, but their leader declines. Said leader is a woman - yay!
The follow-up mini-series charges ahead, albeit more stiffly. Johnson abandoned the project due to creative differences with the studio, nor did he return for the series. The plot holes are gaping and the writing exudes the whiff of overripe fromage. The temptation to write it off is confounded by the cliffhanger of the penultimate episode, which suddenly bursts into the rarified air of pop culture iconography. Poor, sweet Robin gives birth to the product of the first human/saurian mating, and the "evil lizard" baby that emerges is so beyond-the-pale campily diabolical, one can almost still hear the howls of laughter and disgust that rang out in a nation's living rooms, on that 1984 night.
And the series, which managed nineteen episodes, is a cheesy, flawed delight. The aliens occasionally menace us with "weapons" that would appear on Spencer's shelves a year or two later, and it suffers from painful dialogue and directing, but there's enough integrity to charm a follower. Plus guest turns by Bruce Davison, Brett Cullen, Sybil Danning, and Conrad Janis.
STANDOUT PERFORMANCES:
-Marc Singer (Mike Donovan): My name is Dar. I speak for the beasts. Except lizards.
-Jennifer Cooke (the starchild): Wonderful innocence and angst. Plus she makes me feel disturbingly reptilian.
-Michael Ironside (Ham Tyler): The flinty underbelly of STARSHIP TROOPERS was already a master of the hard-bitten, amoral persona that would make casting directors cry "Gimme a Michael Ironside type!!" on those few occasions when he himself wasn't available.
-Jane Badler (Diana): Deliciously over-the-top as the alien commander, she was ready and able anytime the writers dialed up evil or sexy.
-Duncan Regehr (Charles): Erudite, ruthless, and devastatingly charming. Also a veteran of DS9 and TNG.
-Robert Englund (Willie): Freddie Kreuger plays an alien all sweetness and clumsy.
-Michael Durrell (Robert Maxwell): A swell actor, who also had recurring roles in SOAP, HILL STREET BLUES, MATLOCK, and BEVERLY HILLS 90210. Way to work that spectrum, Michael.
-Lane Smith (Nathan Bates): Best known as Perry White on LOIS & CLARK, he made a ruthless collaborator believable and almost human.
-Frank Ashmore (Martin/Philip): Playing a murdered sympathizer and his twin brother, he does a lovely job. He was Ortega on GALACTICA, and in both AIRPLANE! movies (what's your vector, Victor?).
-Jeff Yagher (Kyle Bates): He was annoying at first, as his youthfulness bumped Singer out of the "young buck" slot, nor did we approve of the starchild falling for this yutz.
-June Chadwick (Lydia): Diana's alien rival, the immortal Jeanine of SPINAL TAP.
-Judson Scott (James): An alien henchman who graced TREK in TNG, VOYAGER, and KHAN.
BEST EPISODES:
4) The Deception
The aliens capture Donovan and use holograms to convince him he's convalescing at home after the war. If you need a Marc Singer fix, this'ns the one.
9) Reflections in Terror
The aliens create a clone of the starchild, the only successful human/saurian hybrid. The standoff between clone and original is absolutely classic...not leastly because the creators made the two distinguishable by having the clone wear NO MAKEUP...and i don't mean no alien makeup, i mean no makeup at all. The starchild has standard "human TV female" makeup. To watch them face off gives the viewer a stunning opportunity, possibly unique in the history of television, to appreciate how much more attractive wimyn are without makeup. This one also has the cheesiest moment of the series, when our heroes trot out an a capella "America the Beautiful" in counterpoint to the alien's anthem. Not for the queasy of stomach.
11) The Hero
It's possible to love V as an ensemble piece, and still acknowledge that Marc Singer was the best thing they had going. Perhaps having him be the central character of each episode would have been overkill, but he was in the middle of the show's best moments...including a fight scene in this one that would do Seth proud.
13) The Rescue
That......was......WILD. One half of the episode focuses on the rescue of an expectant mother. Even for V, it's hokey and credibility-straining. The other half centers on the shotgun marriage of invasion leaders Charles and Diana (Get it...Charles and Diana? Repulsive alien lizards? Brilliant!). She hates him, and he's marrying her to get her out of the way. Most V episodes have a sameness (resistance must save the blah blah blah), but this one...in creating the wedding, the producers pulled out ALL the stops. There is a mix of aliens in human skin and as their natural selves, which compounds the silliness - you don't see them as lizards often or for this long, as the heads aren't as lifelike enough. It's all just exorbitant, and for a moment transcends the genre.
14) The Champion
Why are the are the aliens suddenly more compelling than the humans? In the wake of Charles' unsolved murder, Diana and Lydia are forced into a gladiatorial death match. It's freaking brilliant. The episode starts off with an overhaul of the credits, and for a moment it feels like everything's been revamped...the writing more realistic, and most of the cast gone. Mike gets swept into the resistance struggles of a small town, and it suddenly seems like he wants to make it his home, as he shacks up with a widow and her daughter. But what about his romance with Julie, and deep commitment to the L.A. resistance? Go with it, the episode says. The writing falls into hackneyed however, and at the end Mike does an illly-explained about-face. Still, fascinating.
18) Secret Underground
A bad episode with what may be the worst little scene in TV history - a perfect storm of abysmal writing, clueless directing, and atrocious acting. A pair of technicians kneel under a ship as prisoners files past:
He: I have to stop them.
She: Jonathan no, it's too dangerous!
He: I love you.
I guarantee you'll hit the rewind button. Other than that, the semi-revamping is interesting, and mostly for the better. Ever so slightly and saucily, they embrace their over-the-top quality more. The alien mothership now has a gay interior decorator. Not a fey caricature, a straightforward (if that's possible) gay interior decorator.
19) The Return
The alien leader comes to take the starchild away and usher in peace. They went out in style, with the most non-cheesy episode of the series, one that also hits high on the sexy/juicy meters. The starchild gives me heart palpatations. Anyone know where to find the unrated version of GIMME AN F?