greyt genes

I've just encountered the first scientific theory to explain why human hair goes grey. Not some dry description of what occurs on the cellular level (melanin blah blah), but WHY grey hair exists - evolutionally, what purpose it serves.
Are you sitting down?
It's a sexual signal, a way for humans to signal to potential mates that they didn't die young (i.e. they have excellent longevity genes). Hey, all you potential mates out there, grey hair screams, get a load of these GREAT genes! Get over here and sample these GREAT GENES!! Whee! That was awesome! Anybody else want some great genes??
I like this, as very occasionally i'm forced to admit that my ideals run contrary to biology and the dictates of nature. It's nice to be on nature's side, while idiots run the other way. I've long championed the embrace of aging, which makes me an anomaly in a society in which it's treated as an enemy, to be feared and attacked at any cost (that's not hyperbole...many die on the operating table each year in the struggle). We humans are so good at rationalizing our bullshit, that this war against the natural progression of life somehow becomes ennobled. The media spurs us on to "defeat" wrinkles, look "ten years younger", etc. Who funds the media? The same corporations that sell you the products you need to "fight" aging, peabrains. People are so afraid of being unloved, that they buy all those millions upon millions of dye bottles each year...
Maybe being fucked in the ass is just a part of life, but would you all at least stop BENDING OVER AND PRESENTING?
Do something crazy instead. Learn to love yourself for who you are. I'll repeat that, it might be important. Learn to love yourself for who you are. Learn to carry the signs of aging with pride, reflecting the fact that you're a survivor who has wisdom to share, and stories to tell. In a healthy society, there would be two major communal celebrations in each person's life: the arrival of sexual maturity, and the arrival of grey hair.
So for pity's sake, please stop hiding those beautiful sexual signals coming out of your head.
Love yourself. If you don't, no one else ever will.
Okay...i will.
But i wouldn't complain if you made it a little easier.