dear ann

Dear Ann,
It's funny that i only just now thought of trying to talk to you here. You became a follower of my blog last month, so of course there's a fair chance you'll see this. I became a follower of yours a few weeks later, which i'd wanted to do for the past year.
I've wanted to write to you, of course often since we broke up, and even moreso since you briefly reappeared in my inbox last month. But it's hard knowing what level of politeness to maintain...knowing that you are in a romance, i wouldn't want your love to see a letter from me, talking about feelings that are still there.
It's been hard the past year, being in this limbo. You disappeared from my life, stopped responding to me...but only 99%, not 100. That 1% is bigger than any of the 99 that came before. If we'd kept open communication, perhaps i would have gotten over my desires for you more readily. Sometimes i laugh, and think that maybe there's a part of you (conscious or subconscious) that wants it like that, a little piece of me ever in limbo, desiring to hold and love you.
It's not a horrible place to be. Making love with you is one of the sweetest memories of my life. In lonely times, i feel like i would pin you and love you for hours, were you to appear. Then we'd watch some TREK, and do it all over again.
I became a follower of your blog anonymously, because maybe your new love might recognize me, and be unhappy i was there. Also because i saw that you deleted one of my comments from last year.
Such a funny limbo place to be.
But i love you. I may not have said that as much as i wanted to, on the backside of our romantic arc.
missing you,
wrob