unattractive(?)

I get pimples on my ass
My gluteus maximus, long among my most cherished features
is home to the pimples that used to dwell closer to the sun
Perhaps if i continually expose my derriere
the pimples will move
to my feet

I’ve had bad breath
Smell this poem
Do i have it now?

Certain of my eyebrow hairs have gotten so long
that i snip them
I used to pluck my brows in the middle
I stopped, but some of those hairs
are thicker and darker now
There’s even a distinguished white one or two
So my plucking days did not end

My ears
have hairs
in places where hairs
never lived before
Pluck, pluck

And the surface of my nose
is now home to a handful of tiny dark hairs
And the two or three strays on my shoulders
Pluck…pluck

I need a pimple maintenance assistant
Who’s ready to take me home?

2004