Friday, May 21, 2010

curious institution DUV

"A Curious Institution", DARK UNGENTLE VERSION
I was riding my bike through Queens the other day, on the way home to Jersey City. I thought about a friend who recently suggested that we all seek to do things we've never done before, as an exercise in synaptic pathway expansion. I thought it a charming idea, then suddenly it occurred to me...for all the words i've used in my life, i'd never said to another human being, "Smile...God loves you". Playful perversity popped up, and for the next mile or two, i shouted those words to the people i passed. I couldn't even get the whole sentence out, except once or twice. The word "smile" turned it into something too blatantly mocking, so i mostly just laughingly said "God loves you!" My delivery was straightforward enough that probably no one picked up on my underlying irony. Nobody reacted negatively, and i even got one happy "thanks". The ridiculousness of those words coming out of my mouth was so profound, that i found myself giggling when i wasn't talking. It probably looked like i was having a fit. There were even gibberings and gesticulations.
Why would it give me perverse pleasure to subvert a phrase that is ostensibly about spirituality and love?
Probably because that's the only sane response to religion.
To drop, for just a moment, all the diplomacy, all the indulgence of those who are mentally disadvantaged or psychologically damaged...do you want to know, deep down, what non-believers think of religious folk?
We don't believe you. I'm not saying we disagree...i'm saying that DEEP DOWN we don't truly believe that you believe what you're saying. An invisible dude in the sky? Really? No, i mean, that's funny and all, that's a good laugh, but...
C'mon, really?
An invisible dude?
There's a piece of us that will always be waiting for you to reveal this for the practical joke it HAS to be.
One study showed that "very religious" young adults have an average IQ six points lower than their non-religious counterparts. What can we infer from this?
Absolutely nothing.
Except that non-religious young adults have an average IQ six points higher than their religious counterparts.
Ya can't infer nothin' else.
Still.
Stay with me, here.
I gotta ask, is there even ONE person out there who thought that study might go the other way?
Or even one person who thought there wouldn't be an IQ discrepancy between those two groups?
Seriously?
I have smart religious friends. That's not what this is about. I'm just saying did anyone seriously, for one second, think that study would be a wash, or go the other way?
Perhaps the data should be interpreted to mean that the smarter one is, the more arrogant and self-important one becomes?
I'm sorry, but if you're going to do a comparative study on arrogance, i think the kids who believe they were "created in God's image" will probably score higher than kids who don't place themself above dolphins or dandelions. Yes?
In moments of secular frustration, here's the kind of thought that pops into one's mind - is it possible that some religious people hold on to their beliefs simply because "no one likes the smart kid"? That damned smart kid, snickering at my prayer/yarmulke/crossing myself?
Okay, i might be stretching a bit for that one.
Beyond simple considerations of wrong and right, do you know why i occasionally tear into religion with the full and merciless force of my puny fangs? Righteous anger. Anger so profound, that my throat tightens. I tear into religion, for those millions of voices throughout history who wanted to, but could not...for fear of retribution most terrible. And for those millions who did speak, but were swiftly and bloodily silenced.
I know these millions, and i shout, that they need not have bled in vain.
On the street today, someone handed me a pamphlet saying that the second coming will arrive on May 21, 2011. I let out a chuckle, and a big sigh of relief. Can i take it to mean then, that on May 22, these idiots will finally, once and for all, SHUT THE BLESSED FUCK UP? Holy shit. Heaven on earth.
It IS finally coming.
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

1 comment:

John Jones said...

Three obvious explanations. 1) People tend to come to atheism through science, and even a passing interest in science requires logical rigor and an awareness of different kinds of evidence. These features are measured in IQ. So anywhere in the world, any group that correlates with science should have a higher IQ than most alternatives. 2) In the U.S., religious belief is the norm. It usually takes energy and attention and a good memory for counter-arguments to be counter-cultural. So, higher IQ. 3) With the possible and surprising exception of high-church Catholicism (I'm excluding secular Judaism), no religion in the U.S. makes the free use of intellect a virtue in and of itself. There's always some groveling to be done when one questions. So if you want to use your brain and see where the argument takes you, and you live in the U.S., why bother with religion?