bedford avenue blues

My new bike route to Manhattan takes me through a long strip of Brooklyn's Bedford Ave., perhaps the most orthodox Jewish street in New York. Ringlets, shawls, and eraser-hats everywhere. I feel a special connection to the Jewish culture, because with my name, people have often wondered whether i were Jewish. I've had Jewish friends, dated Jewish girls, and as an actor of Aryan stock, i've somehow played an inordinate number of Jewish roles.
The most startling sight i've seen on my ride was a pre-kindergarten class of thirty or so boys walking down the sidewalk. These three and four year-olds were mirror copies of their elders...shawls, ringlets, the whole guacamole! They looked so adorable, i wanted to run over and eat 'em up. I told a friend, and he thought their treatment was perverse and pathetic. In general he's right, of course. They were, nonetheless, too cute.
While i'm far from a casanova, i'd have to give Jewish girlfriends a slight nod over others. Did you ever hear that old bit...
OLD WOMAN: You need to find a nice Jewish girl, and settle down.
YOUNG MAN: But i'm not Jewish.
OLD WOMAN: You won't be sorry.
My limited experience affirms that stereotype. Jewish girls seem to like sex more, or be more in touch with their bodies. It makes me wonder whether there's a connection between that and the fact that Jewish men regularly rise to the top of the comedy scene. Like the comedian might have said, "There's a chink, a wasp, a nigger, and a kike on the comedy bill tonight? Well, two out of four ain't bad." Is it the undercurrent of misery in the Jewish culture (and the drive to escape therefrom) that lets loose all this laughter and fucking? Are Jewish women as good in bed with men of their own faith, or does dating outside the tribe "free" them? Are Jewish men good (or funny) in bed? Why is it easier to imagine that they're funnier with gentile girls? It's hard to deny the cultural dourness, all that weeping and ashes and sackcloth...for anyone with a free spirit, a truly sane reaction would be to make a joke, or hump something.
Or maybe Jewish comedians are successful because the Jews own the comedy clubs too! Oy-ha! (i made another funny)
Or with the girls, maybe i've just gotten very lucky two or three times. Give me that circumcised pole, you goyishe beast!
I guess we need more research. I'll find Giggly Ruthie, you get Squiggly Sarah.