(In coronaisolation, my creative focus has ranged from saving the world to utter triviality...like this! Wait, who am i kidding - this idea predates inshelteration.)
It's time to answer the question that has plagued humynity since we left our caves. Who should every Trek character have ended up with, romantically?
Mind you, at its core the question is unworthy of consideration, because it feeds into the life-denying notion that one ought define oneself by romantic status/partnering. Poppyrot! Some need no partner, some need several. Some relationships are perfect for a moment, some for a season, some for a lifetime.
That said, let's get silly.
WHOM THEY SHOULD HAVE ENDED UP WITH
ORIGINAL SERIES
UHURA - I'd say the swahili crew member from "The Man Trap"...but that was little more than a projection of her psyche. Of course, one could argue that neurobiologically, ALL other people are simply projections of our psyche. That kiss with kirk was tantalizing, and the scotty flirtation worked, but...let's go with the projection!
SCOTTY - Uhura. I contradict myself? Get over it.
SULU - whomever he damn well wants
CHEKOV - Yeoman landon from "The Apple". So sweet it should be called "The Candy Apple".
MCCOY - Natira. Get back to your asteroid, doctor.
KIRK - Miramanee? Edith? I'll take the easy way out, as they died (though in an even playing field, miramanee trumps all). The winner is...elaan! You know, of Troyius. Are you saying YOU wouldn't watch their spin-off? It's drama. It's comedy! It's a humdinger.
SPOCK - The first stumper. Leila or zarabeth? Isn't both together an option? Happiness or hormones. No, that's an unfair reduction...you never saw spock so poignantly, interconnectedly alive as in "All Our Yesterdays". It's zarabeth.
NEXT GENERATION
WESLEY - Ensign robin lefler. Sigh.
WORF - sorry deanna, it's k'ehleyr
DATA - Tasha. He's smart enough to overcome the obstacles.
BEVERLY - finn, from "The High Ground"
GEORDI - leah brahms, remove head from hiney
WILL - imzadi
DEANNA - ditto (no, that's not data's long-lost nephew)
JEAN-LUC - I so want to say ardra, but...anij. Super sigh me.
DEEP SPACE NINE
BEN - they had two brilliant options, alternate universe jennifer and kira (don't tell me there wasn't something there in the pilot), and instead they went with...i can't even say her name
QUARK - Grilka!
JADZIA - a rotating roster, with lenara ("Rejoined") the constant
KIRA - shakaar
EZRI - Kellin, from "The Siege of AR-558". Worf or bashir? No no no no no...
O'BRIEN - A lug wrench? Anything but keiko.
BASHIR - sarina
ODO - kira
WORF - Sorry jadzia, it's...leeta! Am i not genius?
VOYAGER
TUVOK - with apologies to his alleged wife, it's noss from "Gravity"
HARRY - with apologies to tom, it's derran tal from "The Disease"
KES - tom
TOM - rain, from "Future's End" (after kes dies of old age)
NEELIX - dexa (she deserves better, but it gets him off the ship)
CHAKOTAY - b'elanna
B'ELANNA - chakotay
JANEWAY - Chakotay. Let them figure it out, as long as he stays away from...
SEVEN - the doctor
THE DOCTOR - seven
ENTERPRISE
MALCOLM - um, er...
PHLOX - crewman cutler
HOSHI - travis
TRAVIS - hoshi
TRIP - Private cole, from "Harbinger". Or phlox's wife. That red alien! Anyone but...
T'POL - archer
ARCHER - t'pol (aren't you impressed that i didn't say "or riann...or capt. hernandez...")
Live long and canoodle.
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