unentitled

When i see kind eyes of womynly seeking
i want to pounce like a pup
When a female form finds my media-mangled buttons
i long to leap right up
Or really any womyn not wearing a bra...
My mouth dries, my heart beats raw

But then comes the guilt of every closed fist
Resurrections of each rapist recidivist
I burn and hang my head
I choke and wish i were dead
All i can do is avert my eyes
"Don't look at her like she's some prize"
Subsume your male gaze, we're not entitled
The totality of truth is truly suicidal

Harassed, hunted
Abandoned, unwanted
Denigrated, depilated
Overweighted, underweighted
Painted, objectified
Patronized, unsatisfied
Silenced, violated
Murdered, mutilated

How does ANY womyn allow any man near?
Why do they not run away in fear?
How do they keep letting us in?
Just Disney and Cosmo and clucking hens?
History's greatest stockholm syndrome
abetted by hormonal maelstrom?
Pounding in their heads like some kettle drum...
WANT-COCK
WANT-COCK
WANT-COCK

Is that what's it like to be womyn?
It would be so easier if they said they're done
The game's past, nobody won
Unfurl the flag - forever lesbian
We'd stop all this grieving and obsessing
I'd breathe once more, grant me that blessing
My bloodied brain weeps in pain
Yet only she can make me whole again