but...

The most disturbing poet i've ever met
You paralyze me with longing and regret
I want to wallow with you in the mud
Make you a harbor for my beating blood
But...
You make me feel so aware i want to cry
You make me feel so trapped i want to lie
You make me feel so alive i want to die
You make me feel so humyn i want to try
Yet how could we endure this all or nothing world
You're not my starchild, fearless and wild
Though how could you match my meandering mental space
when i too fall short of that wildflower state of grace
Perhaps you are my reflection though
More like me than any female i know
A fat womyn and poor man
That's what the world sees when looking at thee and me
We embody the epitome of cultural undesirability
I'm not disparaging or body-shaming
Realism is where i'm aiming
I've no wish to elevate our surface essence
Reductive labels are the paragon of putrescence
But...
That's what this world will only see
when sizing up thee and me
And the world's rating would celebrate our mating
Happy to be relieved of the onerous trust
of dealing with our damages and lust
Your poems are so wounded and raw
So primal that i'm filled with awe
I want to hold you and heal you on my knees
Would we be crushed by your insecurities?
You're not my mirror in naked freedom's play
And this all or nothing world makes me run, run away
I've no Hallmark card or Disney dream
I'm afraid i must risk being rude
I want to give you your greatest fuck ever
then repeat into infinitude
Should you feel honored being thus prized
when i suffer the curse of the re-sensitized?
Best avoid me, i'm not clowning
In emotions i'm surely drowning
Perhaps my solicitous lust is quixotic and trite
Perhaps i only want to hear the poems you'll write
Being underloved leads to overeating?
I've oral solutions that bear repeating
I've no endgame, no polite goal
I may not be your soul mate but i fuck with pure soul
And if i don't love you with every last drop of me
deeper will we drift into inhumynity