Next Generation, season 2

FOUR-STAR EPISODES: 2
AVERAGE EPISODE RATING: 2.7
-The Child **
One is tempted to award a third star just for a juicy burst of show development, but i'll show some restraint. In a scene that pushes the image of sexual penetration farther than you'd expect, deanna is impregnated by a semi-corporeal space being. She soon gives birth, and the child grows up almost before their eyes. When the benign, curious tyke realizes his radioactivity is a danger to the crew, he kills himself. Blah blah blah...and the debut of riker's beard! Whoopi goldberg arrives as guinan! O'brien's first appearance as transporter chief! After 25 episodes and three chief engineers, they finally put geordi where he belongs! Seymour cassel (RUSHMORE, TRACEY TAKES ON...) plays a shabbily-concealed plot device! And finally, beverly is gone and replaced by katherine pulaski (diana muldaur - MCCLOUD, L.A. LAW, two classic TREKs).
-Where Silence has Lease ***
Investigating a sensor void, Enterprise is engulfed...and cannot get out. They encounter a fake romulan adversary, a fake sister ship, then realize they are rats in a maze. The superior consciousness (earl boen - TERMINATOR 1-3, AIRPLANE II: THE SEQUEL) investigating them finally sets them free...or does it? A ripping teaser, as riker is a guest for one of worf's holodeck combat programs.
-Elementary, Dear Data ***
Finally, the amateurish writing touches of season 1 are disappearing. Data and geordi play holmes and watson on the holodeck. When pulaski protests that data solves the dilemmas too easily, geordi challenges the computer to create a villain capable of defeating data. The professor moriarty character suddenly achieves self-awareness, and soon realizes it's own nature. Realizing its life is at stake, it takes over the holodeck and some ship functions. Surprisingly, it refuses to murder, and agrees to have its program stored until a way can be found for it to exist in the real world. The first of two appearances by anne ramsey (MAD ABOUT YOU, A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN) as the charming ensign clancy, and a brilliant, nuanced performance by daniel davis (THE HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER, THE NANNY).
-The Outrageous Okona ***
Guest star billy campbell (DYNASTY, ONCE AND AGAIN and roddenberry's original choice for riker) plays a roguish captain of a crippled freighter who starts bedding female crewmembers. Quick...name another TREK in which a character has sex with more than one partner? That non-monogamous beacon alone makes this one a winner. Guest star juiciness abounds - the initial apple of okona's eye is teri hatcher (LOIS & CLARK, SOAPDISH), looking incontestably luscious. In the B plot, guinan mentors data as he struggles to understand humor. He employs the services of a holodeck comedian...mr. joe piscopo! Stick your scoffing in your ear, he's great. It's amusing how okona's loves play out like classic red-shirt deaths...people you've never met have an intense experience, then are never seen again. I wanted to go four stars, i really really did.
-Loud as a Whisper **
Enterprise transports a deaf negotiator to a peace conference. Deanna counsels him after he loses his irreplaceable interpreters, including randy oglesby (ENTERPRISE, PROJECT: ALF).
-The Schizoid Man **
Data's beard! The most heralded genius in the galaxy (william morgan sheppard - THE UNDISCOVERED COUNTRY, MAX HEADROOM), who taught data's creator, is dying. He wants no help, then uses the opportunity to covertly transfer his consciousness into the android. Data's personality is subsumed, and dr. graves plans to live forever. Aboard the Enterprise, he is unable to rein in his arrogance and jealousy over picard's innocent attentions to his former ward. The scripts suffers from a too-tame treatment of graves' desires (there should have been at least one seduction scene), and an underestimation of how adept he would be at impersonating an android. Also, it's the debut of TREK luminary suzy plakson (DINOSAURS, MY STEPMOTHER IS AN ALIEN), as a vulcan doctor. Strange that they don't involve her character in a discussion of katras.
-Unnatural Selection **
On a supply ship and a planetary research facility, everyone is dying of premature old age. Picard and pulaski clash, as her humanism butts up against the rules. Aboard a shuttle, she become infected. Some transporter magic (in the most o'brien-heavy episode to date) saves the day. A cut above the norm as science fiction, but some spark is missing...
-A Matter of Honor ***
In an officer exchange program, riker serves aboard a klingon cruiser. He survives a crucible of violent subordinates (brian thompson - GENERATIONS, ENTERPRISE), animate food, an abusive captain (chris latta - STAR BLAZERS, THE SIMPSONS) and rapacious females, and avoids having to carry out an attack on the Enterprise. The first NEXT GEN that stands alongside any of the TREK best. But for a middling B plot about a benzite assigned to the Enterprise, this might be four stars. Can jonathan frakes carry an episode? Indubitably.
-The Measure of a Man ****
-written by burton armus
-directed by robert scheerer
A Starfleet cyberneticist is given permission to disassemble data. Brian brophy (THE PLAYER, THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION) hits the right notes as commander bruce maddox. Data's sentience is put on trial, with picard and riker conscripted to defend and prosecute. Why is this the first NEXT GEN to trigger tears, and reach as high as anything produced by the classic? It all comes back to the writing by burton armus. Time and again, when you fear a line will be just a little off (as it has been frequently before this episode), the perfect words materialize. Spiner is pitch-perfect, and stewart is towering. A minor but critical scene has guinan lead picard to realize that what's at issue is nothing less than slavery. The series' first poker scene arrives! And on a deeper level, it works because we can all see ourselves in data's trial. We live in a time of fear-based alienation, superstition, sexual repression, and a global pandemic of physical/emotional violence. Each day, in a hundred ways, our humanity is assaulted...and always lurking around a wrong turn are much more shattering dehumanizations. The more consciously aware you are of these things, the more this episode will move you. My only critique? It's ridiculous to propose that 24th-century humans won't have evolved beyond the adversarial courtroom process. A system of justice founded on the search for the "winner" and "loser", as opposed to the truth, is a little slice of barbarity we'll soon leave behind.
-The Dauphin ***
Wesley suffers first love with a dignitary (jaime hubbard - THE HITCH-HIKERS, ROSEMARY) escorted by an overzealous chaperon. She loves him back, then reveals that they're metamorphs. He gets a bit xenophobic, but comes around. The furry, ferocious manifestations are classic...as is the riker/guinan scene, and a tantalizing shifter appearance by madchen amick (TWIN PEAKS, DREAM LOVER). Tender and touching, with only occasional writing lapses.
-Contagion ***
Enterprise responds to a distress call from a sister ship in the neutral zone. Before help can be rendered, the Yamato explodes. With a warbird shadowing them, archaeological relics from a superior race (including a "guardian of forever"-type portal) could upset the balance of power in the quadrant...or destroy them.
-The Royale **
Riker, worf, and data discover a luxury Earth hotel on an uninhabitable planet, and find themselves unable to leave. A long-dead astronaut is discovered, in an environment created by aliens who only had a bad 20th-century novel to go on. Noble winningham (CITY SLICKERS 1-2, AFTERM*A*S*H) plays a garrulous gambler. The original script called for the ancient astronaut to still be alive: given this moribund effort, they perhaps shouldn't have strayed.
-Time Squared **
A Starfleet shuttle is found with a comatose duplicate picard aboard. The shuttle is from six hours in the future, the sole survivor of a disaster. A soporific, originally meant to be a two-parter with q.
-The Icarus Factor ***
Will is offered a ship of his own, and the civilian adviser assigned to him is...his father, with whom he has an adversarial relationship. Kyle riker (mitchell ryan - DHARMA AND GREG, HOT SHOTS! PART DEUX) has a romantic past with pulaski, who has some nice commiseration scenes with deanna, who is one of many upset by the possible loss of will. Worf is upset too, because he's alone for the anniversary of his ascension. Wes figures it out, and a surprise ceremony with klingon pain sticks is arranged on the holodeck. The first episode to feature o'brien doing something other than his duties. The father/son posturing and reconciliation doesn't quite work, not least of which for a martial arts contest which strays too close to the silly line. The highlight of the episode is an unplanned moment of hilarity, entirely manufactured by the acting skill of patrick stewart, who took an uber-controlled character and found a way to inject quirks the writers never intended. Pay close attention to his description of the linguistic talents of will's potential first officer.
-Pen Pals **
Wesley is put in charge of a mineralogical team, and his first command experience goes less than smoothly. Data develops a radio relationship with a girl whose pre-warp civilization is about to be destroyed by geological forces. The minor flaw is proposing that humans will still be enslaving other species as beasts of burden centuries from now. The major flaw is proposing that data would be emotionally careless concerning the prime directive...which is disappointing, as an interesting idea is given short shrift (and uneven, clumsy writing). Should the prime directive extend to letting a civilization die of natural causes, if you can save them without their knowledge? To have Enterprise interact, accidentally or otherwise, with a doomed pre-warp culture is a fascinating notion, and deserved double-episode (or even cinematic) treatment.
-Q Who? ***
Annoyed by human smugness, q sends Enterprise to its first encounter with the borg (take note, they haven't come up with the idea of assimilation yet). Lives are lost, and picard admits they need q's help. Whoopi goldberg's finest contribution to date, as she and q have a history. Their monster-claw standoff strains credibility, and the episode suffers from poorly-written scenarios and behavior...but the overall juice factor nearly pushes this one to four stars. Never mind the ferengi, and the romulans were only a red herring - the arrival of the borg, who will now be coming for humanity, provide the series' dangerous edge. Oh, and let's not forget ensign gomez (lycia naff - FAME, THE CLAN OF THE CAVE BEAR) spilling coffee on the cap'n. That part is perfect. Sigh.
-Samaritan Snare ***
So...this is the up-and-coming will riker that Starfleet wanted as captain of the Aries? Hmm...
JAG PROSECUTOR: And it was at this time, commander, when your captain was away, that you sent your chief engineer alone to the pakled vessel, a race you knew almost nothing about?
WILL: Yes.
JAG PROSECUTOR: You didn't think this rash?
WILL: No.
JAG PROSECUTOR: And your officers all thought this was a fine idea.
WILL: No. Not exactly.
JAG PROSECUTOR: I believe your security chief expressed misgivings? Not once, but repeatedly?
WILL: Yes.
JAG PROSECUTOR: Did any other officers express misgivings? Commander?
WILL: Our counselor felt that geordi was in danger.
JAG PROSECUTOR: Ah...but she's usually wrong about these things.
WILL: No. No she is not.
JAG PROSECUTOR: Ah. Well, did you then have mr. laforge transported back, as you could have done?
WILL: No.
JAG PROSECUTOR: No? What did you do instead?
WILL: I talked some more with geordi and the pakled.
JAG PROSECUTOR: Ah.
Aside from that bit of humor, the pakled (a sub-light species who plunder technology they don't understand) actually work pretty well...almost too silly in their presentation, but they stay on the right side of that line, barely. Over in the B plot, wesley and picard take a shuttle in order for the captain to have heart replacement surgery at a starbase. Their nuanced conversation is very nearly worthy of stewart's talent, and sets up beautifully the late-season episode "Tapestry". Farewell, ensign gomez - there won't be another TREK character this underused until leeta on DS9.
-Up the Long Ladder ***
A distress call is received from utopian colonists who disappeared centuries before. They've split into two acrimonious cultures, one hi-tech and one agrarian (and a bit drunkenly irish, to colm's displeasure). Their sun is becoming unstable, and Enterprise must transport them to a new home. Bickering and hilarity ensue, plus one of the sexier moments in TREK history, as a disrobing farmwoman (rosalyn landor - BAD INFLUENCE, RUMPOLE OF THE BAILEY) asks riker whether he doesn't like girls. His flirtations with her are the most libidinous thing to hit the franchise since james t. A curiosity is how the crew reacts so unilaterally to the idea of donating DNA for cloning. A little hesitancy is understandable among savages (in other words, ourselves...ugh, clone steal my soul!), but it's hard to believe that we'll be such tightasses centuries from now.
-Manhunt **
Lwaxana troi (majel barrett - EARTH: FINAL CONFLICT, every TREK ever) visits. She's going through the betazoid "phase", when sexual desire increases fourfold (at least). Her sights are set on companionship. Picard hides on the holodeck, for another dixon hill diversion, this one featuring robert costanzo (HILL STREET BLUES, CITY SLICKERS) and the TREK debut of robert o'reilly (NEXT GENERATION, DEEP SPACE NINE). This episode actually improves with age...once you get past the lwaxana factor, the charm is undeniable.
-The Emissary ****
-written by richard manning, hans beimler
-directed by cliff bole
Half-klingon Starfleet agent k'ehlayr (suzie plakson - MAD ABOUT YOU, LOVE & WAR) arrives, to assist in dealing with a klingon warship whose crew is coming out of a 75-year stasis. She and worf have an unconsummated history. They mate. It's bloody. Diedrich bader (NAPOLEON DYNAMITE, THE DREW CAREY SHOW) breezes through, and lance legault (STRIPES, THE A-TEAM) completes the TREK/BUCK/GALACTICA trifecta as the klingon commander. The writing is a hair off four stars, but they don't come much juicier.
-Peak Performance ***
The crew participate in war games. Riker is designated "enemy" captain, and his team assigned the U.S.S. Hathaway, a derelict eighty year-old starship. A Starfleet strategist observer (roy brocksmith - IT'S GARRY SHANDLING'S SHOW, PICKET FENCES) gives data his first defeat in a game of skill. The ferengi (led by armin shimerman) stage a surprise attack, and the two starships must work together. The script doesn't quite rise to the level of the story, but still...
-Shades of Gray **
A clip show? A clip show?? The (unintentionally) funniest NEXT GEN. Riker is comatized by alien microbes, and his memories flash by our eyes. Does the camera avoid his lower torso because he has a chubby? Rescued from one-star hell simply by the competence of the inoffensive original material. Fittingly, the ending offer perhaps the most groanworthy joke in the history of TREK. Making the moment pass without eliciting pots and pans from the audience is perhaps the greatest acting triumph of stewart and spiner's careers.