If you know me personally, or pay close attention to this blog, you're aware that i've been homeless for months. "Homeless" is inaccurate, of course, i've had a roof over my head that whole time. But the amount of time my new home search is taking, has some people perplexed...one friend even suggested i'm dragging my heels, especially as i have another friend happy to take me in next month, one who hopes i don't find my new home quickly, as he wants me to help him with some renovations.
As much as i love that friend, extending my homelessness is the last thing on my mind, and i'll be content to leave him without a houseguest if i find my home tonight, or in the morning, or...
My search has been ongoing since...um, early October. Actually, it's been a good deal longer than that...and in many ways, it feels like there hasn't been a time in the past two years when i haven't been looking. My weariness is profound, and as lovingly generous as my friends have been, i just want it to be over.
When i started this blog, i was a new resident of Astoria, Queens, sharing an apartment with Kat and Nanee, and then Doyoung. I luved living there. After nine months, Kat moved to China, and neither Doyoung nor i wanted to pick up the lease, so we parted. I got a room in Crown Heights, Brooklyn, with a family i quickly grew to love. But after nine months, a poison, possibly springing from the seed of jealousy, grew inside that home, and it became no longer safe for me. Feeling the urgency, i took a room in Bed-Sty, Brooklyn. It was perfect in almost every way, including housemates who loved me, but my landlord proved to be a disaster. My ceiling started leaking after a few weeks, and was still leaking when i moved out seven months later.
So this time, i vowed to not move until i found a place that was just right. My loving little refuge from the winds and wantonness of the world. As a housemate/tenant, i'll risk underselling myself considerably by simply saying i take care of the people and things around me.
Part of the reason this post will go unlabeled is that i hesitate to even write it, as i don't want to give psychological weight to the fact that i've not found my home. It is indeed a very fine needle i'm trying to thread, i make no qualms about that. I confine my search to the "rooms & shares" section of the apartment listings on the website craigslist. Some wonder why i don't broaden my search, but craigslist is where i'll find what i want. An agency would be impersonal. I want whomever i live with (or whichever landlord) to choose me personally...i want my character to be as important to them as theirs is to me. Craigslist is where the human touch is to be found.
It's also where my exceedingly modest price range can be found. That range might stun some...in The Big Apple, i'm looking for a rent of $450 a month or less. I'm not looking to share a room (although i have looked into a few of these, when it was a woman open to sharing with a man). In my price range, the "share" aspect involves sharing a kitchen and bathroom, which is fine. I've lived alone and with others...each has benefits, but i generally like having someone around whom i can bore with my goofy adventures.
Every day, i program a search in the $300-450 range, in Manhattan, Brooklyn, and Queens. In choosing which ads to open, i screen out the majority based on bikeable distance to Manhattan, where 60% of my work is. The Bronx is too far, and Staten Island/New Jersey don't have adequate bridge access. That leaves me with the Astoria/Ridgewood sections of Queens, the Bushwick/Bed-Sty sections of Brooklyn, and upper Manhattan. A place in my price range will also occasionally pop up in lower Manhattan or Williamsburg, Brooklyn, but those are rare.
Perhaps 70% of my potentials are found in Brooklyn. I screen some 50 ads each day, of which i look at perhaps 10-15, and respond to 2-3. From that, i have maybe five phone conversations a week. From those, i visit perhaps two places.
If biking distance weren't a consideration, i'd have found a place long ago. For that matter, if i were an "open-minded woman", i'd have found a home in a day.
Every e-mail response of mine is some variation of this:
Hello,
I'm a mover/actor/editor/mascot/tree trimmer/wedding officiant. I don't drink or smoke, i've been the clean one in a house of women, and i spend most of my free time writing poems and articles (see link). I can give you glowing references from employers and ex-housemates. If there's a place to keep a bike, i'd love to hear more.
warmly,
wrob
When i get a landlord or renter on the phone, i ask:
-How big is the room?
-Is there a window?
-How much are utilities?
-Is there an internet signal?
-Are there any smokers?
-Is it month-to-month, and will there be stability for at least a year?
-How close is the nearest subway?
-Mice/roaches?
-Sleepover guests?
-Any regular meat cookers?
-Is the heat reliable?
Most of these aren't deal-breakers. A sanity-keeping window is imperative, as i spend so many hours sitting and writing. After that, there are a number of X factors. Mostly, i'm looking for a human connection, and generally, i prefer being around female energy.
The smallest room i've lived in was 9'x7', and that only worked with extra storage space. Yup, there are NY rooms being rented that are smaller than 9'x7'. Measure it out, if you want an insight or chuckle.
If i look at a place, i like to meet my housemates or at least talk to them on the phone. Another reason why my search has taken so long is the lightning-strike nature of CL. Days i have to go to work usually mean missed opportunities. Ads get responded to so quickly by so many...and beyond that, many renters seem willing to give these rooms to the first person who puts money in their hands. This frustrates me a little, when i'll be a few hours too late to get a chance at a room that sounded perfect. But i tell myself that the renter i'm looking for will be patient, too.
Have there been almosts, in my search? Many times. On a few occasions, i even set out with money in hand. But when a search goes on this long, you have to be careful to not give in to that voice saying, "Just take a place!" You have to be willing to put in at least an hour a day, day after day, not including visits.
My happy home...the one that's just right for goofy little me, the one that says "wrob"...
I can feel it.
It's just...
around...
the...
bend.
No comments:
Post a Comment