WOMEN 41-42
Sarahjane
We did a play or two together during high school, and some summer plays during college. During one of these, i drove her home one night through a stunningly powerful rainstorm. She was terrified, and awed that i got us through. I reconnected with her after college. A couple years younger, she was very sweet, a bit quiet, and not conventionally beautiful (but i suspected she had an amazing body). Though lust led me, i was open to a loving, committed, open-ended relationship...which, combined with her seeming accessibility, made my feeling for her almost unlike any i'd ever known. "I'm going to have a lover, a girlfriend. This is going to happen." That said, i did half-suspect that her intellectual horizons were narrower than mine. I think perhaps i also wanted to retroactively cash in on the popularity that had come with being a lead in high school plays; back then, i hadn’t been smooth enough to really do so. We hung out together a few times. I took her to a nature trail and a deer's labyrinth under a bower, where we lay together. Holding and kissing her was so beautiful. I wanted her even more than i had before. I drove her home, and called her again, but that was the last time she went out with me.
Katie
An actress i knew through theater friends but never did a show with, just some play readings. Sweet, maybe a little shy and insecure. We hung out over a few months. Massage became cuddling, and i wasn't sure whether to go further. The cuddling became sexual. I gave her oral sex one time, but i was generally pretty indecisive and ambivalent. She put up with me longer than she should have.
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