a maxmas journey

(The pattern of my December holiday travels has been a delightful constant for most of the past decade. That pattern may be forever changed, with my mother's impending relocation to Florida. To say nothing of the possibility that i myself might move to a warmer clime before long.)

I arrived in Pennsylvania, my ancestral home, on December 23rd. Mom's family hails from Reading, and Dad's from Harrisburg. I spent my teens and part of my twenties in the Philadelphia suburbs, going to school at West Chester University (twice). Mom still lives in Bucks County, Dad retired to the Pocono Mountains, and sister and her family live in Kennett Square, the suburbs on the south side of Philly.
On White Heron Lake, Jan had made the house a holiday wonderland as always. She's a fantastic baker. Of her many cookies, the most amazing were the cranberry-macadamia-caramel shortbreads. My dad calls her the greatest elf ever, and i pretended to be insulted. They both loved the selections i shared from Chuck Negron's Christmas album, particularly Jan with "Grown Up Christmas List" (i knew she already loved the song). At one point, there was a little flare-up of marital tension, and i was grateful that she and i later had some alone time. I was reminded of my recent article about how three-person marriages would provide an automatic pressure release valve between any two isolated souls. Jan said some very complimentary things to me about how well i deal with my Father's less gentle side; i was humbly grateful she appreciated that.
As i put my presents under the tree, i smiled at the extended journey that is my holiday gift-giving. I collect gifts throughout the year. Having three distinct celebrations at different locations, my supply lines get so stretched out that by December i sometimes forget what gifts i've already gotten, and whether i might need a little more for this person or another. Sometimes it's been so long since i've wrapped a gift, that the opening of it is as much a surprise to me as it is to them.
On Maxmas Eve, i attended the late service at Jan and Bob's protestant church. This is the one church event i attend yearly, because they're usually performing. This year Bob has a choir solo, and Jan does a reading. In past years, i've lessened the pain of attending an organized religious ceremony through mildly-irreverent camaraderie with my step-brother John, but this year he's in California. For the first time ever, i sit in the very back row. With my heightened emotions this past harsh year, the service is so hard to endure i can feel a little pain in my chest. I almost cry. But Jan's moment is very sweet, and evokes Linus' Christmas speech. One of the ushers also has a playful moment with me, much more earthy than one might expect, and that lifts me a bit.
Back home, we have nog (soy or otherwise), and dive into our stockings. I also open my gift from Uncle Cork and his wife Kathy, two of my favoritest people. In what can only be called the non-surprise of the season, i find that they've given me the very gift i've sent them: Neil Diamond's new CHERRY CHERRY CHRISTMAS! The title track proves to be transcendently wonderful.
In the morning, we dive into our other gifts. The cats get a motion-sensitive monkey who rolls around the floor, chuckling. I get my most hoped-for gift: seasons 2-4 of STAR TREK ENTERPRISE (the fact that this is what i asked for, makes it no less a delight). Several of the treasures i give prove to be winners.
Mid-morning, we drive to my Mom's, an hour and a half south. They drop me off, and continue on to the Jersey shore. Mom is still wrapping gifts(!), and my sister calls, wondering whether we've left. Mom and i are soon on the road to Jaymie's, over an hour south. As on the earlier drive, i play holiday DJ. Her hubbie Chuck will come in a separate car, ostensibly so he can drive back early to take care of the dog, but mostly because his capacity for socializing is limited. He gears up for his festive mode, but he's no doubt relieved when the social pressures of the day are done.
Mom and i stop by my brother Jeff's. He had spoken with her about joining us, but didn't make a follow-up call. His housemate called my Mom that morning, and said that Jeff wasn't doing anything. She knocks on his door, but no one comes out. Jeff is trying to kick an addiction to painkillers. Mom, Chuck, and i had visited his restaurant earlier this month, and he waited on us. He was in great spirits, and i gave him a STAR BLAZERS video. It was the first time i had seen him in years.
We arrive at Jaymie's! Her hubbie Steve is in fine form, as are my pre-teen nephews Aaron and Isaac. Isaac hasn't yet outgrown loving cuddliness, and my off-beat presence always gives them both a little lift. This was the year i realized that Aaron, the older, has a genuinely above-average intelligence, and my literary gifts (for both of them) reflect this new knowledge. The rest of the day is wonderful. After a fantastic meal, i have my second Maxmas gift swap. My favorite givings are the Bee Gees SGT. PEPPER movie fiasco and A BRADY CHRISTMAS ALBUM, both for Jaymie. My favorite receiving is a Marx Brothers dvd set. Later that week, i'll receive my third favorite gift, when i trade in bookstore giftcards from Mom for the complete MONTY PYTHON'S FLYING CIRCUS. That night, she and i sleep over. In the morning, after some more fun, she gets on the road. I stay, as Maxmas #3 is on the way! Bob and Jan arrive from the shore, and after another lovely meal, another gift swap gets underway.
At this third celebration, i indulge in a little uncharacteristic inner pouting. Y'see, for years i've taken great care to split up my presents for Bob, Jan, Jaym, Steve, Aaron, and Isaac into two piles, one to be opened on the 25th, and one on the 26th. And for years, they've all given me ALL their presents on the 25th, so that come the 26th, everyone sits there opening gifts, and i have none. I've never told them how this makes me sad, because...well, it seems patently ungrateful to complain about the manner in which one receives gifts, and also because...it just seems so silly for them to see me year after year with no presents on the 26th, when the solution (modeled so diligently by me) is staring them right in the eye! At some point it all became so ridiculous that i determined to never say a word about it, not until one of them finally asks, "Rob, why haven't we been saving any presents for you to open on the 26th?", at which point i would say, "I DON'T KNOW!"
Hmph.
Bob and Jan and i stayed over that night, and had some more fun and games the following day before leaving for party #4, a family celebration at Jan's sister's, over an hour north in Lambertville, NJ (after a detour to the Jersey shore to pick up Jan's mom, Lettie, a dignified and loving matriarch who on this day is more saucy with me than she's ever been). Jan's sister Bonnie and her husband Bernie are also two of my favorite people...happy hippies both...and their yearly party is a delight, highlighted by the lighting of actual candles on a tree (along with individual, often emotional dedications), and a Yankee Swap gift exchange, for which i take joy in finding an off-color or ridiculous gift. This year, i spent time talking with new acquaintances Carissa and Adelle, both of whom are delightful and not a little attractive. Carissa jokes about having me spend a piece of my current homelessness on their couch, and i secretly hope the opportunity arises. After the party, Bob and Jan and i head back to the Poconos. I stay with them for a couple days, enjoying post-holiday relaxation and finally getting to see Uncle Cork, who stops by for a card game. Then Jan drives me to pass me off to Steve, so i can spend another few days at my sister's before the final party, her January 2nd new year's party for my Mom's side of the family. My holiday trip is rarely this extended, but as i'm still searching for my perfect NY home, the longer stay seems appropriate. It's also nice to have a couple days with my nephews, without the usual time constraints. Steve and Jaymie are great...he's a workout hound, and i accompany him to the YMCA one afternoon. And Jaymie, despite the occasional stress my writings give her fundamentalist sensibilities, is so giving and loving. The whole ugly capitalist pageant sometimes comes to mind when i'm with them. Steve's job affords them about as high a level of wealth as one can achieve, without being "the rich". They don't have servants (but they do have a robot vacuum cleaner!). My sister is not totalitarian by nature...indeed her child-rearing methods have been scorned by many in the family as too liberal...but during this visit i get to hear her say, "The words 'Why do i have to shower?' are forever banned in this household!" She and Steve both do a great job manifesting patience. The highlight of this interlude is New Year's Eve, a celebration i normally dismiss as contrived and boozy...but i condescend to join them in watching the ball drop, and an unexpected memory is born. Dick Clark, bless him, continues to host, even after strokes have diminished his communicative abilities. The fact that we're watching a TV with a Tivo replay feature allows us to experience the countdown calamity that you may have missed, particularly if you had a drink or three in you.
DICK CLARK: ...sixteen, fifteen, fourteen, twelve, ten, eleven, ten, uh...nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one (one second early)...happy new year!!!
Somebody give that man a big hug.
The final party of the year was dee-lightful, highlighted by another Yankee gift swap and the presence of my young second cousins Jordan and Jena. Jordan, in line with his upbringing, is a religious carnivore, but genuinely fascinated by my agnostic vegetarianism. We dove into discussions of the whys and wherefores...it was lovely. Afterwards, i rode back with Mom and Chuck to their home, from where i write to you. I wasn't sure i'd be spending much time here this holiday, and i think she was a little saddened by that, even though i spent ten days here earlier this month. Mom's home is a beautiful victorian, and her white tree with a silly flamingo ornament is adorable.
So that's my family journey. I love them all, i love that i got to see RUDOLF'S SHINY NEW YEAR for the first time in years and HOLIDAY INN for the first time ever (the blackface number alone is worth the price of admission), and i love each and every one of you, wherever you are, whatever you celebrate, whomever you love.
Merry Maxmas!