goodbye lafayette

Last night i moved out of my leaky little home on Lafayette Ave. Almost suprisingly, i was emotionally affected. I had spent my last few Bed-Sty months paying no rent, as compensation for a ceiling that wasn't entirely successful at keeping rain an outdoor event. October came, and though i hadn't found a new home, i moved out as i told my landlord i would.
As a landlord, Henry was catastrophic. He had the communication habits of an addict, and his likeable maintenance man, the same.
Such is New York.
I suppose i was emotional because there were both misery and happiness in my seven months there. I lived the physical manifestations of stress for the first time in my life, in the form of a sickened feeling, and being unable to eat. For the first month, when the leaks were the worst, i was a veritable prisoner to the place. It may be a long time before the sound of rain doesn't make my stomach faintly knot up.
On the happy side, my neighbor Adam was a gem, a classy, rambling man who loved his dog, shared his beautiful garden, and seemed one with the neighborhood. My housemates were human...struggles with alcoholism and a vandalizing ex-girlfriend were most memorable...but they were good people who kept problems to themselves, in a clean, happy home. When Ricardo was vandalized, he decided to not file a police report which would have necessitated the arrest of a single mother. My housemates thought highly of me. I'll miss them, just as i'll miss the most beautiful rhodadendron you'll ever see. Hand to Hera, i believe it grew ten feet in the months i took care of it. While there, i experienced one of the best sexual relationships of my life. And with my writing, i was creatively alive in the world, sharing my dreams of a new day, and a better way.
When i told Henry i would be out in a few days, he offered one of the upstairs rooms to me. I told him there had been too much damage done. He lowered the rent. I said no, and he lowered it again. Perhaps the cynical view is the correct one, in that he simply realized i was one of the best tenants he was likely to find...but i'd like to hope that maybe he felt bad about his shortcomings, too.
He is one of a small handful of people in my life i've had practice conversations in my head with, trying to come to grips with their perplexing or hurtful behavior.
It was time to go.
I'm in Flatbush now, for a little bit anyway. Determined that my fourth room search in a little over two years won't be urgency-driven, i'm going to patiently wait for that little home that's just right. Facilitating that is my friend Mike, and his wife Sandy. When he heard my story, he offered me his large guest room, for as long as i need. He won't hear any talk of rent, and he moved my stuff with his car. I'm actually very happy with the way it's working out, as this time will give me a chance to know him better. We've been good acquaintances for over a year, as moving co-workers. He's a musician with professional biking aspirations. The only downside here is the extra long bike ride to Manhattan.
Flatbush actually lives up to its name, so far.
The building i'm in is a bit fancier than my last few, and the crack house is much closer.
Such is New York.
I'm also living with a chihuahua who bit my ankle and threatens to give himself an embolism with his barking, plus a pit bull/basenji who is passingly gentle, a black and white cat named Mr. Martin, and a street cat who, because of infant malnutrition, will never grow to full size.
Such is New York too.
But New York is also some of the best people i've ever known, like Adam and Stanley and Robert and Ricardo and Mike and Ann.
Seven years ago, i moved here from a little island in the Gulf of Mexico. Last summer, i felt for the first time the urge to live near warmth and water again. I may heed that urge in another year or so. Perhaps as my NY swan song, i'll produce one of my plays in the summer Fringe Festival, then...i've never lived in California or the Rockies. New Zealand might be nice.
Or some place as yet undreamed of...
As for now, i'll look for a loving home, where i won't live with one foot out the door.