dear tj

Dear tj,
A little corner of my mind has always wondered what i did to alienate you. I think i've found the biggest piece of the puzzle.
The conventions of the social media world often make my brow furrow, mostly because i don't have the gene for "networking". Creating webs of transient, surface relationships for the purpose of...well, here's where my thinking is both good and bad, for social networking can enable things like awareness of events, creations, or individuals working toward some greater good. But on the negative side, so much of social networking seems to be about self-promotion. And that's a gene i don't have. Everybody's talking, but no one says a word. How many of us live two realities - what we SAY, and what we THINK? How many hidden pains, shames, angers, or affinities never shared...even with those closest to us?
I cherish true friendship, and it often seems that even those who should be connecting deeply, seldom do. Therein lies the main source of my problem here. When i see someone on social media who has hundreds of "friends", i think "No, you don't...and your willingness to say you do makes me doubt whether you understand that word". If "love" is the most abused word in our language, "friend" can't be far behind.
This FB "friending"...if they called it "acquaintancing", i'd probably have no problem.
So this is the lesson it's taken me a long time to learn - when someone "friends" you, they might not be reaching out for genuine humyn connection. In fact, they almost never are. But when i get friended by someone like you, so dynamic- and dedicated-seeming, i want to take you out of your box like a shiny toy. Get to the heart of life.
The question is...now that i've learned this lesson, what do i do? Stay inside my shell, or keep risking looking foolish?
The answer seems obvious. Of course, maybe i'm reading this wrongly. Maybe it wasn't my openness that put you off...maybe it was some other strangeness. My strangenesses might be myriad.
I'm sorry i furrowed your brow.
warmly,
wrob