C.L. Blues

(sung to the tune of "American Pie", by don mclean)

A long long time ago
i can still remember how
that C.L. used to make me smile
and i knew i always had chance
of procuring a horizontal dance
and maybe i'd be happy for a while
But H.R.1865 made me shiver
What disaster did congress deliver?
The news, it hit me so sad
I'd never browse one more ad
I can't remember if i cried
when i saw that site reductified
but i was empty deep inside
the day that Craigslist died

It said come on by, you need a gal or a guy

Maybe an intersexual, you should give one a try

There weren't enough whiskey, there weren't enough rye

on the day that Craigslist died

The day that Craigslist died

Did you write an ad of love
and did you have faith in Craig above
if your hormones tell you so?
Do you believe in cock and hole?
Can casual encounters save your mortal soul?
Can you teach me anal real, real slow?
I was perfect for you, oh can't you see
but some fool responded quicker than me
Now they're kicking off their shoes
I got those missed connection blues
I need a lonely teenage broncin' buck (18, 18!)
I need a little suck and fuck
But i knew i was out of luck
the day that Craigslist died
I started singin' bye, bye you sweet old hairpie
I shut down my PC and let out a sigh
Gonna get stoned, and then i'm gonna cry
My love life is just gonna die
My love life is just gonna die
Oh, and there we were all in the same place

A generation lost in virtual space
Not knowing how to start again

All us men seeking wimyn, and men seeking men

And wimyn seeking wimyn, and wimyn seeking men

And miscellaneous for the non-binary population
There was platonic only for the nobler crowd
or maybe for those who were just too proud
to admit they wanted some too
We'll just pretend for a month or two
And there was casual encounters, such glorious sleaze
Any perversion, we're happy to please
I could not shake my dread and unease
the day that Craigslist died

I was singin' bye, bye you sweet old hairpie

I shut down my PC and let out a sigh
Gonna get stoned, and then i'm gonna cry
My love life is just gonna die
My love life is just gonna die

I met a womyn who sang the blues

I asked her for some happy news
She just smiled and turned away
I looked at Tinder and E-Harmony

but paid desperation ain't for me
though this OKCupid might be okay
And in the night the horndogs screamed
The tops cried, and the bottoms dreamed
Not a word was spoken
Our spirits were all broken
But maybe this calamity can set us free
Maybe real life is the place to be
I went to troll for tail at the library
the day that Craigslist died
And we were singin' bye, bye you sweet old hairpie

I shut down my PC and let out a sigh
Gonna get stoned, and then i'm gonna cry
My love life is just gonna die
My love life is just gonna die

Bye, bye you sweet old hairpie
I shut down my PC and let out a sigh
Gonna get stoned, and then i'm gonna cry
My love life is just gonna die