Hooters

THEATER 51
-spring 2000
Sometime that winter, i was sitting at the counter of the Orpheus Cafe, a new Greek/American restaurant near Times Square on Ft. Myers Beach. I had just met Tony Mallous, one of the brothers who owned the place, a gentle-speaking man with a quick smile. He was in his late fifties, and had much of the old world in his voice. He asked what i did, then asked whether i would be interested in starting a theater in the cafe. I said sure. For the first project, i chose a Ted Tally beach comedy. It seemed a natural choice, with the surf only sixty feet away. The show was funny, and a little risque. I wanted to avoid mainstream shows. Tony, who wanted the Orpheus to become a cultural center, supported this. There hadn't been live theater on the island for a few years. The show was about two buddies one year out of high school who go to Cape Cod for a wild weekend, and the two slightly older women they meet. I cast Drew Shaffer as Cheryl, the sex object who is engaged to a successful, boring man. I played Ricky, the cocky and brash one. I cast Josh Chapman as Clint, the sensitive one. Josh was a college theater student, as was his girlfriend Lisa Owens, whom i cast as Rhonda, Cheryl's best friend who is disgusted with men. The girls want to get away for a weekend, but the boys fall over themselves trying to impress Cheryl. Much to Rhonda's dismay, Cheryl encourages them. After a beach picnic, Clint ends up spending the night with Cheryl, while Rhonda and Ricky are left on the beach. They hate each other, but when the morning comes, they're the ones who actually overcome some walls. Drew wasn't over-talented, but with the right actors, we could make her look good. Lisa and Josh had talent, and were good to work with. I told my actors that there would be no pay until we were selling well enough to expand to more than three nights a week. In my first effort as producing artistic director, i was also director and designer. I supplied the money, and procured the set and props and costumes and lights and marketing…and it was wonderful. I threw myself into 8-12 hour days, seven days a week. I hit garage sales, and became quite adept at getting results for little money. My Mom was visiting from PA, and she and my Aunt Joyce did a lot of the sewing of our curtains. Mom also made us a Snoopy sweatshirt. There was a line where the boys refer to a "dumpy chick in the Snoopy sweatshirt". It seemed an obvious reference to Rhonda, but when i presented the shirt to Lisa, her vanity wouldn't allow her to wear it. We had rehearsals at my Grandmother's house, whom i was taking care of and living with. It was cute, shepherding Josh and Drew through their kissing scenes. They were nervous, but i kept the atmosphere light, and had them play intimacy games. My buddy Shane was our stage manager. We performed in a corner of the restaurant and made one entrance from outside, coming through the audience. I bought cloth backdrops to serve as night and blue sky and hotel walls. A 20'x15' piece of burlap was our sand. The set piece that meant the most to me was a hotel window, which hung by wires. On the day the window was finished and up…it was so beautiful, the illusion i was creating with my own hands. I stood there, filling with such happiness and pride over a window. We could seat forty, and played to crowds of fifteen to twenty-five. The restaurant staff were slow in understanding how to quietly work a show. Audiences and critics were delighted with the intimacy of it. My favorite scene was with Rhonda. I put a red gel over a floor light to simulate a beach fire, while we played out some sweet and poignant moments. My scenes with Josh were wonderful too. I had most of the funny lines, and it was a blast when the audience really started laughing. One of the things i instituted as a tradition was the absence of a curtain call. I had long been disenchanted with curtain calls, which i found obligatory and often insincere. I told the actors to do as they wished, once the show was done. We would usually acknowledge applause, or not. Sometimes we would just walk out to greet people we knew (that was what i commonly did). After our third week, Lisa hurt her leg at home, and decided that it was in her best interest to drop out. Somehow Josh got confused and thought that the show would be cancelled, and failed to show up to our final Thursday, which we then had to cancel. I had found a replacement actress and worked with her. We went up on Friday with Lucy Parnes as Rhonda, book in hand. She had been one of the original auditioners. She was nervous, but got through it okay. She couldn't do the Saturday show however, so i prepared Amanda Parke to play the part. Amanda was my buddy Jason's girlfriend when i had met her the preceding year. She had acted in her first show only the summer before. She was a little cuter than Rhonda ought be, but we roughed her up. Even with only one day of rehearsal, she and i made some nice moments. I had scheduled two encore performances, for a fifth week. But that week, long after she had confirmed being available, Drew said that she now had to work. My hands were tied and my heart broken, because i hold my promises so very sacred. I knew that i wouldn't be working with any of my three original actors again, at least not for a long time. So the Saturday show with Amanda became our final performance. Even with some self-destructing at the end, the run was delightful. I left it brimming with enthusiasm.