Enterprise, season 3

FOUR-STAR EPISODES: 2
AVERAGE EPISODE RATING: 3.0
-The Xindi ***
Dark, gritty. Expanse spatial anomalies defy the laws of physics. Searching for the xindi, archer and trip travel a river of feces, tracking down an inmate (richard lineback - NATURAL BORN KILLERS, RETURN TO MAYBERRY) of a subterranean prison. The debut of the wonderful stephen culp (THE WEST WING, THIRTEEN DAYS) as MACO major hayes. I don't hear angels sing when t'pol takes off her jammie top, but i do lose some coherent thought...almost enough to blind me to the realization that placing her hands over her breasts, thereby displaying twentieth-century human bodily shame, is painfully illogical.
-Anomaly ***
Attacked by pirates, Enterprise follows them to a mysterious sphere.
-Extinction **
On an alien planet, archer, reed, and hoshi are genetically transformed into once-extinct aliens.
-Rajiin ***
Enterprise helps free a sex slave (nikita ager - AUTO FOCUS, TOMCATS), unaware she is a xindi operative. Her pheremonic chemistry with everyone (t'pol included) simmers.
-Impulse ***
Zombie vulcans!! Responding to the distress call of a lost ship, they find the crew has been transformed into mindless killers by a neurotoxin. T'pol becomes infected.
-Exile ***
A telepathic alien living in exile offers Enterprise xindi intelligence...in exchange for hoshi. A lesser reviewer would jump at the chance to make a joke about asian mail order brides. You may breathe a sigh of relief that i'm not a lesser writer.
-The Shipment ***
Enterprise finds a xindi lab producing a key element in the weapon being built to destroy Earth. The lead researcher (john cothran - ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK, BOYZ N THE HOOD) is unaware of the kemocite's intended use, and agrees to sabotage production.
-Twilight ****
-written by michael sussman
-directed by robert duncan mcneill
A brilliant swirl of tenderness and excitement. Long-term memory-negating parasites infest archer's brain, leading to a future in which Earth is destroyed. Twelve years later, phlox arrives with a treatment on Ceti Alpha V, where the 6000 human survivors live. Trip and malcolm are captains. T'pol has been jonathan's caretaker, and their relationship has "developed". Curiously, this episode inferentially stumbles upon the only solution to the problem of monogamy (other than embracing the fact that it's unnatural). For over a decade, archer and t'pol have probably made love most every day, and every time for him was the first! Sadly, marriage certificates don't currently come with memory-negating parasites.
-North Star ***
Enterprise discovers an unknown human colony living an Old West existence, and apparently suppressing an alien race.
-Similitude ****
-written by manny coto
-directed by levar burton
Trip is mortally wounded, and only brain tissue harvested from an alien clone injected with his DNA can save him. The clone has a fifteen-day lifespan, plus trip's memories. He falls in love with t'pol, and has a hellacious time trying to reconcile the sacrifice that is asked of him. Archer's darkest moment, in an episode that grips you by the chest. The only flaw is having t'pol and sim not make love.
-Carpenter Street ***
Archer and t'pol are sent back 150 years to Detroit, where they must try to stop xindi agents trying to destroy Earth.
-Chosen Realm ***
A group of religious fanatics commandeer Enterprise, for a holy war. This episode feels more like a lost episode of the classic series, than perhaps any offered up by any of the sequels.
-Proving Ground ***
Enterprise finds the xindi superweapon testing ground, and gets surprise help from shran in raiding it.
-Stratagem ***
Xindi mammalian degra (a ten-episode arc for randy oglesby - LIAR LIAR, THE ONION MOVIE) awakens in a shuttle with archer, who tells him they escaped from xindi insectoid prison. The scenario is a ruse to extract intelligence.
-Harbinger ***
A great (er, very good) little ride. The malcolm/hayes tension comes to a head. After a MACO smooches trip, t'pol initiates a sexual encounter (with him, not her). The first, and sadly last, appearance of corporal cole (noa tishby - BIG LOVE, THE ISLAND).
-Doctor's Orders ***
Traversing a trans-dimensional phenomenon lethal to humans, the crew is put into stasis while phlox pilots the ship. He begins having paranoid(?) delusions. When the phenomenon proves larger than expected, he must initiate the warp engines alone.
-Hatchery ***
Saving an abandoned xindi insectoid hatchery, archer becomes obsessed with the eggs' safety.
-Azati Prime ***
Archer plans to pilot a one-way shuttle mission to destroy the superweapon. Daniels begs him to not go.
-Damage ***
After a reptilian attack, Enterprise is stranded without warp drive. They meet friendly aliens who have a warp coil, but are unwilling to trade. Archer makes a dark decision.
-The Forgotten ***
Archer tries to convince the mammalian and arboreal xindi that the sphere-builders are using them as disposable pawns, to make the Expanse livable for them (and unlivable for others).
-E2 ***
Enterprise encounters a version of itself that was thrown back in time 117 years, and is crewed by the ship's descendants (plus an aged t'pol). The captain, a vulcan/human, is played with delicate nuance by david andrews (APOLLO 13, FIGHT CLUB). Delightful.
-The Council ***
Archer is heard before the xindi Council, trying to convince them they've been manipulated. His chief ally degra is murdered. The season's slow build pays off in this brisk and dangerous offering. Much credit goes to xindi actors oglesby, tucker smallwood (THE SARAH SILVERMAN PROGRAM, SPACE: ABOVE AND BEYOND), rick worthy (INSURRECTION, GALACTICA), and the ferocious scott macdonald (JARHEAD, THRESHOLD).
-Countdown ***
While the reptilians force hoshi to decipher a launch code, the arboreals, primates, and Enterprise ally themselves.
-Zero Hour ***
Archer races aboard degra's ship to stop Earth's destruction, while Enterprise tries to stop the sphere-builders. The day is won, then archer wakes up in a nazi field hospital. Ain't that always the way?