wound 4

(a follow-up to http://nakedmeadow.blogspot.com/2010/04/wound-3.html)

"Self-awareness is a paraplegic tackling a greased pig."
-dr. jane aloysius o'mccorkleschlatt

Another angle on my spirit-wound of the past few years lies in the confluence of two streams, my awareness and my ability to feel. Throughout my life i've chased two varieties of perspective: the differing one and the larger one. Inasmuch as i've been able to succeed, i've come to understand the isolation that underlies all present human activity on this planet. I see past the fear and possessiveness that define us, to the loneliness and pain underneath...a pain so profound that each of us must create monumental coping mechanisms, the foremost of which is denial. Layer upon layer of denial, obscuring our isolation.
The acquisition of perspectives has been an intellectual quest. Unfortunately, this state of awareness has coincided with a separate quest, that of awakening the feeling part of my my psyche. My youthful life of the mind prepared me for this in no way. Over the past few years, while my capacity to feel is at an unprecedented level, my sensitivity to the psycho-spiritual aggression that pervades our society has become so strong that anti-social tendencies have been the result. If i weren't so attuned to my desperate need to be held, i might have sought out a hermit's cave long since.
I've been trying to input the staggering levels of pain that are both within me and all around. Never mind the world, no one can fully integrate their own wounds, and remain quite sane.
Anyone have a suitable Mr. Rogers quote?
Choke it down, don't die.
Was that him?