DON KNOTTS ***
The Gingerbread number is almost disturbingly un-Muppety. One of the most heart-stoppingly adorable numbers in Muppet history, as Rowlf sings "What a Wonderful World" to a real puppy. Don is Don...and that's a good thing.
ZERO MOSTEL ***
Zero is enchanting, particularly in a chilling, hypnotic recital of the poem "Fears of Zero". He stands as the only Muppet guest who died before his episode aired. And...Beaker!!! The debut of the world's bestest-ever lab assistant (oh nerts, what about Marty...).
MILTON BERLE ****
Uncle Miltie shows how it's done. Touching your heart as much as your funny bone, he can do no wrong, with an amazing rendition of "The Entertainer". Statler and Waldorf's heckles of his standup is burst-out-loud funny. Plus, the debut of "Pigs in Space"! Finally, Fozzie and Miltie leave 'em laughing with "Top Banana".
RICH LITTLE ***
Rich is a charm, a treasure, especially performing "I Remember It Well", with Miss Piggy.
JUDI COLLINS **
Judi centers a middling episode, notable only for Kermit's interview of a morphing Koozbanian.
NANCY WALKER ***
Kermit gets sick and leaves Fozzie in charge (a plot necessitated by Jim's temporary absence). "Veterinarian's Hospital" and "At the Dance" get jumbled together. Nancy is solid.
EDGAR BERGEN ***
Charming. Amusingly, the most celebrated ventriloquist of all time is, um, not a very good ventriloquist. Did people know this when he was famous, and just not care? Fozzie hysterically tries his own ventriloquist act, not realizing that the dummy doesn't actually talk. A Muppet scientist performs Jim Croce's "Time in a Bottle".
STEVE MARTIN ***
A loosey goosey trip. Due to a scheduling error, Kermit cancels the show to audition new acts. Steve is miffed, then entertains the cast. Statler and Waldorf perform "The Varsity Drag", with heckles by Fozzie. Steve and the Jugband play "Dueling Banjos"...sublime.
MADELINE KAHN ***
Gonzo falls in love with Madeline, with a beautiful performance of "Wishing Song". Kermit taps "Happy Feet". Floyd sings "New York State of Mind".
GEORGE BURNS ***
Tabloid reporter Fleet Scribbler hassles everyone backstage (he even knows how to speak swedishchefese). George is simply charming. A treasure.
DOM DELUISE ***
A middling episode is lifted by the comic gifts of Dom, particularly in his turn as caretaker for an institute of Muppet monsters.
BERNADETTE PETERS ***
An episode made middling by uninspired use of the brilliant Bernadette, is lifted by a whooshingly wonderful run of Veterinarian's Hospital, The Swedish Chef, and Dr. Honeydew. And the Sheikh's wife is almost disturbing in her moneymaker-shaking. Robin feels underappreciated, and almost runs away.
RUDOLF NUREYEV ****
A bizarre, ill-advised gamble. No, not booking Rudolf - fashioning him as a song and dance man. Despite his heavy accent, he has decent comic timing, but the singing should never have worked. Yet it does...it's somehow so silly that it's wonderful. He dances with a balletic pig in "Swine Lake", and shows more skin than any guest to date (including Rita Moreno) in his reverse-gender Miss Piggy duet "Baby, It's Cold Outside".
ELTON JOHN ***
Commoner Elton rolls out a hits-you-love episode, none more weird and wonderful than one in which he gets eaten by crocs.
LOU RAWLS ***
Lou is a towering talent, and he absolutely owns the place in a scat version of "Bye Bye Blackbird" with the Electric Mayhem. Link Hogthrob sings to a real piglet.
CLEO LAINE ***
Who? You'll be glad you asked. Cleo, a stunningly wonderful jazz/scat singer, scorches in "It Don't Mean a Thing", and nails the melancholy "If". Plus a sweet duet with The Swedish Chef.
JULIE ANDREWS ***
A solid, all-around effort.
JAYE P. MORGAN **
Inoffensive.
PETER SELLERS ****
Peter centers an effort that strolls along in three-star land, until the last two numbers fly through the roof. In the midst of a show that's falling apart more than usual, Kermit suddenly sings "Bein' Green"...an encore of the season 1 performance that is in all ways unexpected. The vocals match the more well-known version, and the forest flats that descend around him are a lovely touch. Meanwhile, Dr. Honeydew's teleportation device keeps making people disappear. Peter tops off the show with an uproarious performance of "Cigareets and Whiskey".
PETULA CLARK **
Petula sings well, in an episode constantly interrupted by a John Wayne-talking moose.
BOB HOPE ***
Animal tries some hobbies to calm him down...overhand bowling, alligator wrestling, and hunting. Bob is lovely. The woodland creatures performance of "For What It's Worth", with idiot gun-toting humans running around and two verses re-written into an anti-hunting anthem, is captivating. Unraveling a part of one's life, in my case the fact that i forever rejected hunting as a teen despite coming from a hunting family...it can be fascinating to think that this number touched me as a child. Of course, i have no memory of even seeing it back then, so who knows?
TERESA BREWER ***
Who-er? Teresa centers an episode that has no right being as good as it is...there's nothing on paper to merit it. But all these should-be middling numbers roll out so tightly, it's just a lovely ride (particularly Animal's "Wild Thing", and Sweetums pushing Teresa on a swing as she tries to sing "Spinning Wheel"). Fat jokes abound, as Piggy goes on a diet. The PC sensitivity of coming decades renders this one fascinating, as Kermit's anti-fat zings would never go over today.
JOHN CLEESE ***
How hard is it for me to not give a Cleese episode four stars? Very. But it's still a delightful, wacky time. The highlight is Robin and Sweetums doing "Two Lost Souls".
CLORIS LEACHMAN ****
An episode that sounds like a disaster waiting to happen, goes all the way in the other direction. The pigs take over the show, kidnapping all the other stars and replacing them with piggy imitations. Sound flaccid? It's non-stop wonderful. Cloris is a delight, and i'd be her castaway companion any day.
VALENTINE SHOW WITH MIA FARROW ***
One of two Muppet pilots, it's actually quite charming despite the lamest-of-all-holidays subject matter. Wally the Hollywood agent is the host, and a preggers Mia the guest. Her scenes with Thog ("A Real Live Girl") and Rufus are touching. Kermit's "Froggy Went a-Courtin'" is pretty classic, too.
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