OkCupid leftovers

After a month on the site, there are three profiles i cannot shake...and each one its own unique category.
OVULATING IN OAKLAND
A womyn of color, with natural hair and an intelligent, playful spirit. Her writing flowed easily, and she seemed largely free of the damage and neurosis that pervades most profiles. She wanted babies, and a financially-advantaged man (somehow, she made mercenary seem reasonable). Since that clearly isn't me, i did the honorable thing and passed, even though her words and photos stirred a longing that won't fade. I can't stop dreaming of the words i should have sent, and the idiot with whom she'll get stuck...
MATEABLE IN MARTINEZ
A surgeon with parents from India. She wants babies. Her pictures triggered reptilian desire, and i wrote to her, saying it was easy to dream of taking care of her children, and rubbing her feet after her long days. Was i emboldened by lonely insanity, and the likelihood that she wouldn't respond to a penniless poet? Yes...yet if she wrote back, i tell myself i would go. Have i lost touch with reality? Perhaps that grasp was always shaky...am i so inclined to plunge into insanity partly because i want that "best lover ever" experience (totally free, no walls or limits) so desperately, yet also suspect i can't get a womyn pregnant, just because i never accidentally have? Hayzeus, that's a slim thread of irrationality on which to pin anything.
AGE-APPROPRIATE CANDIDATE
What a stupid term...yet not entirely. To be with someone who remembers your cultural references is nice. This womyn's profile challenged my avowed principles of substance over style. She seemed as perfect for me as any profile i've seen (a list so short it perhaps doesn't exist, yet still...). She just seemed a gentle, smart flower child, all grown up. Unaffected, unafraid...i worried that i might lose my soul if i DIDN'T write to her. My demons were dancing loudly...horny loneliness on top of the desire to have my vegan cake and eat it too...the most amazing love, yet be free...it made me face the possibility that subconsciously i'm drawn to younger wimyn with an element of instability, who will set me free after a period of intense loving, keeping my conscience clear because i didn't walk away.
Do i want what doesn't exist? One word struck me most with this womyn - REAL REAL REAL. Nothing standing between me and lifelong companionate love. Is it possible to have that without murdering yourself, in this culture?
Her pictures were beautiful. She also looked older than me, and i HATE that i noticed that. She looks quite nice for her (our) age...but not as young as i. Ahhhh, such bullshit in our heads.
I stared at her profile for an eternity or three, my finger over the pass button. Then my finger moved, and hit "like". I went to the match section, ready to write to her...
And she wasn't there. Computer glitch. Gone, nothing.
A few days ago, i re-set my profile, partly out of writerly curiosity, to see what i would discover when i expanded my search to include ALL possible romantic situations.
But also in the hope (and dread) that a re-set might put these wimyn in my sight again...