"Sex at Dawn"

Post-post-postscript: Did i fall for a beautiful but flawed dream in my reaction to this book? Does ryan play fast and loose with the evidence, cherry-picking and misrepresenting willy nilly? Academia is a gnarly arena, with innumerable voices waiting to pounce on any controversial idea...which is as it should be.

-by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha'
2010
Do you know what it feels like to hold in your hands the most important book you'll ever read? To call this a sex book does it a monumental disservice. SEX AT DAWN offers the highest degree of clarity currently possible in understanding the dysfunctional, brutal, unnatural society we've all been born into. By studying humanity before the agricultural revolution, it takes on the question "What is human nature?". The authors employ paleontology, studies of the world's remaining human foraging societies, and a look at our closest primate relatives. The standard narrative of human sexual evolution (male and female form a pair bond based on differing agendas...she, to gain resources and security, he, to monopolize her reproduction) is revealed as an unnatural adaptation to post-agricultural life. Fierce egalitarianism, in which the concept "mine" is almost unknown, is offered as the dominant pattern of society for at least 95% of human history. Warfare is virtually unknown in pre-agricultural societies. The sexuality is polyamorous - all males and females have multiple partners. Virginity is so unimportant that there is often no word for it. Free of monogamy's crippling isolation, children relate to all adults as "parents", and have a sense of belonging which is incomprehensible to us. The one gaping hole in Darwin's brilliance is examined - he essentially called all women whores (if the film PRETTY WOMAN resonated in you, then you've bought into that whole-heartedly). If Darwin were correct about competition, human males would be twice as large as females, like gorillas (with shrunken genitals, too). Or if humans were monogamous, male and female would be same-sized like gibbons (again, with tiny genitals). So what about "survival of the fittest"? It turns out that's a reality, but it takes place inside a woman. Ejaculation comes in spurts. The first one contains anti-toxins, and the last one a spermicide. The first is a protection against sperm already present, and the last is an attack on other sperm to come. The authors reveal the adaptation at work in the ENORMOUS size of the human penis. They analyze why the world over, contrary to a sexually-reserved image, women are louder than men during intercourse. The intricate design of the cervix also points to promiscuity. If you're still unconvinced, ask your local porn proprietor what sells more, films of multiple women with one man, or the other way round. Humanity's current low sperm-count "crisis" may simply be a result of culturally-enforced monogamy. Skeletal remains reveal that agriculture brought violence, famine, stunted growth, and reduced lifespans. The life of bonobos, genetically as close to humans as chimps (and closer to us genetically than Indian elephants are to African ones) is examined. Bonobos are the only other creatures on Earth who are sexually active throughout their menstrual cycle, who use sex for social purposes and recreation, and enjoy a wide variety of sexual positions while gazing into each other's eyes and kissing deeply (a separate article is required to do bonobos justice: http://nakedmeadow.blogspot.com/2010/12/bonobo.html). The myth of female sexual exclusivity is shattered. You'll learn that in societies which have no double standard, women are as eager as men (In the present-day yam-harvest festival of the Trobriand Islands, groups of young women roam the countryside "raping" strange men, biting off the eyebrows of any who don't please them. What? You think i could make that up?). You'll learn why women on the Pill should never choose a mate, and that circumcision became a part of American life not because of health or hygiene, but as a deterrent against masturbation. And that 88% of those who pledge abstinence admit to failure. And that the original key-party swingers were WWII pilots and their wives. And that there are an estimated 500,000 polyamorous families in America. And that men who adhere to monogamy experience diminished testosterone, making them more prone to depression, heart attack, cancer, and dementia (great googily, have we just had our first window into why male lifespans are shorter?) The psychotherapy profession clings to the notion that monogamy is natural, but bold therapists are challenging that status quo. So...are there holes in this book? Of course. What we DON'T know about human nature could fill volumes. But this is the first book in my lifetime of which this can be said: if you know me, you'll probably have a copy in your hands before long.
(Postscript: Within hours of posting this review, i received a thank you from Christopher Ryan. Amazing.)
(Post-postscript: The paperback version has a different final chapter. For my nickel, the hardback is better, avoiding one or two wince-inducing lines like "There are zones where it's always going to be difficult for men and women to understand one another, and sexual desire is one of them." Back to Venus/Mars nonsense, which the book otherwise does an admirable job of debunking. Even the subtitle of the book has changed: from "The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality" to "How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships". Going from hard-hitting science to touchy-feely self-help is not an improvement. Ryan acknowledges that the replacement chapter was the result of pressure from the publisher to make the book more "what to do when he cheats". So i suspect Ryan himself might urge you...get the hardcover.)
http://sexatdawn.com/
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