Last month i officially officiated my first official wedding.
My first unofficial officiating occurred last summer, when a couple posted an ad looking for an actor to pretend to be a minister at their wedding. They had gotten married in secret months before, but they wanted to stage a wedding for their families. They liked the cut of my jib, and i had so much fun doing it i thought about making it a regular gig, as i actually was ordained in college, on a lark. Reverend Rob Rosenberger, Church of Universal Life, at your service. I am in many ways radically non-traditional when it comes to marriage, but i figured that crazy kids were going to make that plunge with or without me, so why not have my energy and love be a part of it? I got the paperwork rolling, and $15 later i was an official NYC officiant. I posted the following ad online:
SECULAR OR MULTI-CULTURAL WEDDING OFFICIANT
Nothing is more humbling than love. I've traveled the world, I've studied great thoughts, and I live one life in the creative world as a playwright/actor/poet. I live many lives, integrity the only thread. Helping you find wedding readings you love, or delivering readings of ones you already love, or helping you create new readings/vows, are talents I can bring to your day. I've a Master's degree in philosophy, and I'm a deep romantic. The philosophies I've been most drawn to are Eastern and existential. I was ordained during college with the Church of Universal Life, admittedly on a lark, but larks can lead to some wonderful places. My own views on marriage are hardly traditional, as most culture's marriage traditions are rooted in female ownership, so any ceremony I take part in will celebrate the equality between man and woman.
yours in friendship, Rob
My first real wedding was held at the Queens Botanical Garden, for a couple of sweet sweethearts. He's a NY cop, and she's an ex-cop herself. I got to know the bride pretty well. There was some family/friend strife in the months before, but the whole event couldn't have come off lovelier. I stayed to the very end, and even got asked out by the most vivacious broad there. I didn't say yes, for three reasons: one, it seemed more appropriate that the Rev not pick up a date, two, she was a drinker (this was obvious even before she asked me out for a drink), and three, she was a little out of shape. The first reason was easily the lesser of the three. Of the other reasons, the third was the biggest deal-breaker. Is that enough honesty for you?
The couple were non-religious, but they asked me to throw in a couple God/Jesus references, to mollify the families. For the couple's peace of mind, i figured it would be better to have someone faking it than have an actual Bible-thumper up there, so i agreed.
No problem.
Then...
I'm standing in the gazebo looking out over the guests before the ceremony, and i notice...a nun. Uh-oh. My faking suddenly takes on a whole new aspect, as i'm suddenly faced with the prospect of being asked to share my thoughts on transubstantiation with a fellow disciple of the lord. I've never, y'know, messed with a nun. Have you?
But god (ahem) intervened. Turned out this nun was of the non-English-speaking variety. Goin'-to-hell (ahem) improv crisis avoided.
As my first change to the institution of marriage, i would require that when a couple file for divorce, there be a ceremony at which all the people who attended the wedding are required to attend. Reasons and arguments will be aired, and the officiant will ask those assembled whether there are any who know of a reason why the couple may not be divorced. The congregation then votes on whether divorce will be granted. If the answer is no, the couple must try to work it out.
One marriage down. Step right up, who's next?
SECULAR OR MULTI-CULTURAL WEDDING OFFICIANT
Nothing is more humbling than love. I've traveled the world, I've studied great thoughts, and I live one life in the creative world as a playwright/actor/poet. I live many lives, integrity the only thread. Helping you find wedding readings you love, or delivering readings of ones you already love, or helping you create new readings/vows, are talents I can bring to your day. I've a Master's degree in philosophy, and I'm a deep romantic. The philosophies I've been most drawn to are Eastern and existential. I was ordained during college with the Church of Universal Life, admittedly on a lark, but larks can lead to some wonderful places. My own views on marriage are hardly traditional, as most culture's marriage traditions are rooted in female ownership, so any ceremony I take part in will celebrate the equality between man and woman.
yours in friendship, Rob
My first real wedding was held at the Queens Botanical Garden, for a couple of sweet sweethearts. He's a NY cop, and she's an ex-cop herself. I got to know the bride pretty well. There was some family/friend strife in the months before, but the whole event couldn't have come off lovelier. I stayed to the very end, and even got asked out by the most vivacious broad there. I didn't say yes, for three reasons: one, it seemed more appropriate that the Rev not pick up a date, two, she was a drinker (this was obvious even before she asked me out for a drink), and three, she was a little out of shape. The first reason was easily the lesser of the three. Of the other reasons, the third was the biggest deal-breaker. Is that enough honesty for you?
The couple were non-religious, but they asked me to throw in a couple God/Jesus references, to mollify the families. For the couple's peace of mind, i figured it would be better to have someone faking it than have an actual Bible-thumper up there, so i agreed.
No problem.
Then...
I'm standing in the gazebo looking out over the guests before the ceremony, and i notice...a nun. Uh-oh. My faking suddenly takes on a whole new aspect, as i'm suddenly faced with the prospect of being asked to share my thoughts on transubstantiation with a fellow disciple of the lord. I've never, y'know, messed with a nun. Have you?
But god (ahem) intervened. Turned out this nun was of the non-English-speaking variety. Goin'-to-hell (ahem) improv crisis avoided.
As my first change to the institution of marriage, i would require that when a couple file for divorce, there be a ceremony at which all the people who attended the wedding are required to attend. Reasons and arguments will be aired, and the officiant will ask those assembled whether there are any who know of a reason why the couple may not be divorced. The congregation then votes on whether divorce will be granted. If the answer is no, the couple must try to work it out.
One marriage down. Step right up, who's next?
2 comments:
I hate to break your heart but that was my husband's aunt. She does speak english. So I guess, you're going to hell. lol.
Oops.
Post a Comment