failed song

(or, the unrecriminational anthem)

Know how some writers say they have no idea whether something they've written is good? That's not me - my record for recognizing greatness is considerable. But this song was my first lesson in hardcore fallibility. I practiced it for months and thought it was brilliant, even if only the kind that makes one dedicated fan say "THAT's the great song, not the fucking single!" But after performing it multiple times and getting NO love, i reluctantly gave up on it as a concert piece. I tried fixing it (earlier drafts were, um, longer), i still practiced it to put on an album...but finally abandoned even that ghost. Too much faith in my lyrical brilliance? It's basically an all-purpose song in which i crammed notions that didn't fit anywhere else. I made it fun and silly (i thought) with oo-ee-oo-ee-ooos, but at long last i bumped it from any consideration for any life anywhere. So i CAN write a bad song, apparently.

I can't relate to people who drink
I can't relate to people who don't
Reach in my pocket, there's a kitchen sink
In dreams you will, but in life you won't
For there are no saints, there are no sinners
In ways of wisdom we're all beginners
Capitalism is a capital crime
and no one loves like a midget mime
Oo-ee-oo-ee-oo-ee-ooooo
Beedly beedly beedly beeee
I need a hug!
No, i need three!

Having too little or having too much
are both spiritual assassination
The end of psycho-sexual alienation
starts when we criminalize recrimination
Forgive ourselves, we know not what we do
We see the damage, not the dangers
We're blind to what we do to me and you
We barely see what we do to strangers
Oo-ee-oo-ee-oo-ee-ooooo
Beedly beedly beedly beeee
Squeeze my bottom!
I'll giggle with glee!

Tell malcolm and ali
i spurn my slave master name
Condoms cause depression
Made-in-Taiwan is my maiden name
Outlawing slavery
protects only naked bipeds
But bonobos have magic vulvas
and sleep in rainbow bedspreads!
Oo-ee-oo-ee-oo-ee-ooooo
Beedly beedly beedly beeee
Rub my belly!
And i'll rub thee

A fuck and a handshake
are different only in your head
Barbarians wear tuxedos
Chivalry was always dead
Is intolerance tolerable?
Let's turn wine to water
I am not YOUR son
but i might be your daughter
If it weren't for being mindfucked
i'd never be fucked at all
It's time to burn the jails
and go over the waterfall
We're so afraid of wimyn
we cover them in makeup
We're so afraid of life
we let doctors carve us up
Oo-ee-oo-ee-oo-ee-ooooo
Beedly beedly beedly beeee

If you're not depressed or suicidal
you have a heightened sense of denial
I'm a sociopath, so are you
How did it happen, what can we do
Racism ain't about white or brown
Only the green that ain't spread around
Prehistoric people practiced radical sharing
Reintegration requires radical caring
Perpetual greed or need, that's not living
Radical healing needs radical forgiving
Every skulking thief
No recrimination
Every racist belief
No recrimination
Every murderous deed
No recrimination
This endless greed
No recrimination
No recrimination
Every abandoned child
No recrimination
Every lawsuit filed
No recrimination
Every betrayal and lie
No recrimination
Everyone who made you cry
No recrimination
Oo-ee-oo-ee-oo-ee-ooooo
Beedly beedly beedly beeee

For Disney boys don't share their toys
And Disney girls will eat your world
Take off your clothes, wave your feet
Feel your mind swirled, feel your toes curled

There are no saints, there are no sinners
In ways of wisdom we're all beginners
Capitalism is a capital crime
And no one loves like a midget mime