Wednesday, January 16, 2013

"The West Wing"

1999-2006
-created by aaron sorkin
Hail to the show, it's the one we all say hail to! The first season of sorkin's masterpiece tied M*A*S*H's all-time record for greatest number of four-star episodes in a season. Some complain that the dialogue was too rapid. To that i reply, there's not one single thing wrong with HEE HAW. And yes, this is also one of the most flawed "best shows ever". Especially in the first season, but further on too, there are patches of cringingly contrived writing, most of them centered around the ennobling of liberals/vilifying of conservatives. The only thing missing is some good mustache-twirling. Yes, there are a few moments when sympathetic republicans make salient points...but by and large, the show comes perilously close to being a slobbering knob-job to all things democrat (an almost unforgivable sin in a country where no party has any intention of ending poverty or making this a genuine democracy). But all that aside, the show's chemistry and dialogue are just off-the-charts...and it often does show admirable humanist heart.
I considered compiling a "Lamest Lead-ins to the Intro Music" list, but that would have made me a fetishist, not a fan.
SERIES EPISODE AVERAGE: 3.14
BY SEASON:
1) 3.5
2) 3.2
3) 3.0
4) 3.1
5) 3.1
6) 3.0
7) 3.1
FOUR-STAR EPISODES (season)
-Post Hoc, ergo Propter Hoc (1)
-A Proportional Response (1)
-Mr. Willis of Ohio (1)
-The Short List (1)
-In Excelsis Deo (1)
-Lord John Marbury (1)
-He Shall, From Time to Time (1)
-Take Out the Trash Day (1)
-Take this Sabbath Day (1)
-The White House Pro-Am (1)
-Lies, Damn Lies and Statistics (1)
-The Midterms (2)
-And It's Surely to Their Credit (2)
-The Portland Trip (2)
-Noel (2)
-Somebody's Going to Emergency, Somebody's Going to Jail (2)
-Bad Moon Rising (2)
-Two Cathedrals (2)
-Night Five (3)
-Dead Irish Writers (3)
-The Black Vera Wang (3)
-We Killed Yamamoto (3)
-Posse Comitatus (3)
-20 Hours in America (4)
-Arctic Radar (4)
-Life on Mars (4)
-Commencement (4)
-Twenty Five (4)
-7A WF 83429 (5)
-The Dogs of War (5)
-Han (5)
-The Supremes (5)
-No Exit (5)
-In God We Trust (6)
-Undecideds (7)
-The Last Hurrah (7)
MOST BADLY-WRITTEN EPISODES*
Pilot (1)
In This White House (2)
Shibboleth (2)
*With special recognition given to the occasionally caricaturish portrayals of republicans in seasons 1&2.
GREATEST PERFORMANCES [# of episodes]
-ALLISON JANNEY [155]
One half of two of the show's top three romances.
JANNEYTHON
The Women of Qumar (3)
The Long Goodbye (4)
Liftoff (6)
Institutional Memory (7)
The Disaster Show (STUDIO 60)
-MARTIN SHEEN [154]
Originally intended as a minor character, Sheen made Bartlet (i mean, President Bartlet) one of the iconic roles of TV history. Josiah was so likable that you forgot what a tightass he could be.
JOSIAHTHON
Two Cathedrals (2)
Day Five (3)
Han (4)
Impact Winter (6)
-JOHN SPENCER [153]
Leo's conversation with the fired staffer, in which he tries to explain alcoholism, has a poignancy of which other shows only dream.
LEOTHON
Take Out the Trash Day (1)
Bartlet for America (3)
An Khe (5)
The Dover Test (6)
-BRADLEY WHITFORD [153]
He handled the show's toughest acting challenge, making Josh's manic side believable.
JOSHATHON
The Crackpots and These Women (1)
Six Meetings Before Lunch (1)
The Portland Trip (2)
Noel (2)
-JANEL MOLONEY [148]
Never has serial failed romance shined more sweetly.
JANELATHON
The Six Southern Gentlemen of Tennessee (SPORTS NIGHT)
Stirred (3)
Election Night (4)
Gaza (5)
Transition (7)
-RICHARD SCHIFF [146]
The show's other most-tough role was making Toby lovable.
TOBYTHON
In Excelsis Deo (1)
17 People (2)
Holy Night (4)
Commencement (4)
-DULE HILL [133]
The show's greatest romance, and greatest father/son moments.
CHARLIETHON
A Proportional Response (1)
Shibboleth (2)
The Midterms (2)
The Benign Prerogative (5)
-ROB LOWE [82]
I say thee yay, Sam Seaborn!!
SAMMYTHON
pilot (1)
Enemies (1)
100,000 Airplanes (3)
Hartsfield's Landing (3)
Transition (7)
-JOSHUA MALINA [77]
He's no seaborn, but nobody ever walked in on a goat better. There, i'm done dealing with the Baileys.
BAILEYTHON
Game On (4)
Election Night (4)
No Exit (5)
Drought Conditions (6)
-STOCKARD CHANNING [63]
Not one single false note (well, okay, one...see below).
-KIM WEBSTER [57]
You might not notice Ginger the first time or two you see the series, but once you do, you can't stop. Her smoky voice made me want to lose a week nibbling her throat.
-KRIS MURPHY [52]
Oh press room Katie, my state secrets are yours. And while we're on the subject, why wasn't Sam Robards' storyline given to her, or Steve or Mark or Chris?
-JIMMY SMITS [35]
The speech Santos gives in the L.A. church is one of the moments that only come along once or twice in a lucky actor's career.
SANTOSTHON
Faith Based Initiative (6)
Freedonia (6)
A Good Day (6)
Undecideds (7)
-KATHRYN JOOSTEN [30]
Even though it contributed to arguably the show's best episode, i remain irked by Mrs. Landingham's death.
-ALAN ALDA [28]
Do you grasp the enormity of the fact that his most famous role never once popped into our heads? I think Alan maybe even had fun with this...Vinick sneezed once, and i'm pretty sure he was ever-so-subtly invoking a certain denizen of the Swamp.
ARNIETHON
In the Room (6)
King Corn (6)
In God We Trust (6)
The Last Hurrah (7)
-TIMOTHY BUSFIELD [28]
Was there a single Danny moment you took your eyes off him? With Amos, Arkin, Rees, and Harmon, he gets the show's highest "Excitement Per Screen Second" rating.
BUSFIELDATHON
He Shall, From Time to Time (1)
Inauguration Part 1 (4)
Internal Displacement (7)
The Harriet Dinner, pt. 1 (STUDIO 60)
-ELISABETH MOSS [25]
Sigh...anyone out there NOT want to be in for the night with Bookbag?
ZOEYTHON
The Crackpots and These Women (1)
Mr. Willis of Ohio (1)
Evidence of Things Unseen (4)
Commencement (4)
-MARY LOUISE-PARKER [23]
We didn't want to like her, with her keeping-josh-and-donna-apart behavior, but she was quite adorable. And feministly frightening, in the best way. Isn't it funny how a show can affect you? In real life, i wouldn't be so discouraging of josh being people other than donna - multiple partners make one more of a person, not less. But in the context of a show, where you're rooting for certain characters to do certain things, you often end up hating anything that impedes that consummation.
-MOIRA KELLY [22]
Just kidding, she was terrible. Which annoys the heck out of me, because i love the show, and i like other stuff she's done. The mandy math doesn't add up.
-JOHN AMOS [22]
Hear ye, hear ye! Cast your votes! Is Fitz a horse thief, or is he a so-and-so? Could he be both? We don't even know-and-know.
-TIM MATHESON [19]
In a cast of heavyweights, he never seemed like the lightweight his other most famous role had prepared us for.
HOYNESATHON
Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc (1)
War Crimes (3)
Stirred (3)
Life on Mars (4)
-TERI POLO [18]
Why does she not have her own show, or pick of film roles? Why, in her most famous film, does she play second fiddle to Jerry Stiller's marginally-talented son?
-MARLEE MATLIN [17]
I'm Joey Lucas!! Now go see CHILDREN OF A LESSER GOD!
-MICHAEL O'NEILL [16]
Only 16 episodes? 116 would have been nice. Have you ever seen Agent Butterfield run? You don't want to see it.
-EMILY PROCTOR [12]
Ainsley, oh Ainsley, it is you who deserve the finest muffins in the land.
AINSLEYTHON
In This White House (2)
And It is Surely to their Credit (2)
The Lame Duck Congress (2)
Bartlet's Third State of the Union (2)
-OLIVER PLATT [9]
He's never found anything charming. We find that charming.
-DANICA MCKELLAR [8]
More Snuffin! More Snuffin!! Dammit, more Snuffin!!! Okay, i guess i wasn't done dealing with the Baileys.
-MELISSA MARSALA [6]
In denying us our Rina/Toby romance, the producers ran away from greatness.
-LISA EDELSTEIN [5]
Sam slept with a call girl. Are you as surprised as i that she did only five episodes?
-ROGER REES [5]
Hear ye, hear ye! Let us commence the Marburyathon!
Lord John Marbury (1)
He Shall, From Time to Time (1)
The Drop-In (2)
Dead Irish Poets (3)
-ADAM ARKIN [4]
No actor had a higher four-star percentage.
-MARK HARMON [4]
In a good career, the best thing he's ever done.
SIMONTHON
Enemies Foreign and Domestic (3)
The Black Vera Wang (3)
We Killed Yamamoto (3)
Posse Comitatus (3)
-JOHN GOODMAN [4]
Not the best thing he's ever done, but still miles above us mere mortals.
WALKENATHON
Twenty Five (4)
7A WF 83429 (5)
The Dogs of War (5)
The Stormy Present (5)
-JOHN LAROQUETTE [2]
IMDB credits our cuddly Mr. Tribby with only one episode. Somebody get on that.
-EDWARD JAMES OLMOS [2]
How does one loom this large in just two episodes?
-JOHN DE LANCIE [2]
Along with appearances by Robert Picardo, John Billingsley, James Cromwell, Armin Shimerman, Randy Oglesby, Vaughn Armstrong, Rosalind Chao, and Steven Culp, we proudly announce the non-fetish-a-thon!
-PAXTON WHITEHEAD [2]
You're a freakishly funny actor.
SUPREMESATHON
The Short List (1)
Celestial Navigation (1)
Separation of Powers (5)
The Supremes (5)
MAXMASTHON
In Excelsis Deo (1)
Noel (2)
Holy Night (4)
The Christmas Show (STUDIO 60)
GREATEST ONE-OFFS
1) Tony Lee, "Han"
2) Zakes Mokae, "In This White House"
3) Karl Malden, "Take This Sabbath Day"
4) Penn & Teller, "In The Room"
5) Donald Moffat, "The Long Goodbye"
6) Bob Balaban, "20 Hours in L.A."
7) Hector Elizondo, "Dead Irish Writers"
8) Matthew Modine, "The Long Goodbye"
Finally, our love goes to Melissa Fitzgerald, Nicole Robinson, Mary-Louise Parker, Ron Silver, Gary Cole, Mary McCormack, Kathleen York, Lily Tomlin, Matthew Perry, Kristin Chenoweth, Allison Smith, Mark Feuerstein, Christian Slater, Jorja Fox, Taye Diggs, Hal Holbrook, and James Brolin.
Here's to the show's Mt. Rushmore, Aaron and little Tommy Schlamme. And of course Mr. Snuffy Walden! And John Wells and Christopher Misiano. Plus Deborah Cahn, the only one who deserves a spot on Rushmore with the founders. Thanks to her, the notion that the final seasons were unworthy is largely bunkum.
AND THE QUIZ!
1) Which state was referenced more than any, to such an extent that it had to be an in-joke?
2) Abbey mispronounces the name of what belgian king?
3) Which character self-zinged the show, with a line about "the voyeuristic gluttony of an American public hooked on a soap opera that's passing itself off as important"?
4) Which supposedly intelligent character repeatedly gave the linguistically incorrect version of the phrase "i could/couldn't care less"...Toby, Josh, or Jed?*
5) What faintly scatologically-titled episode shows Josh in the act of dumping?
6) Which musical guest star had music featured in two episodes?
7) How was "20 Hours in L.A." inconsistent with C.J.'s backstory?
8) Which character had an offstage line dubbed in by another actor, in a Christmas episode?
9) What Oscar-winner's final onscreen credit was WEST WING?
*I'll answer this one here - it's toby. Yet josh gets it right...leaving one to wonder whether that wasn't an acting "fix" of a poorly-written line.

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