THEATER 67
-spring 2002
Jenn asked me to do the final show of the Pirate Player season. I never thought i'd do more than one, much less all three, but my love for these kids would be hard to overstate. In auditions, we went from famine to feast, as scores of kids showed up. My ex-squire Josh had originally been one of the DRAGON leads, and was now a nameless rat. We ended up with twenty named characters, plus seventeen rats (all 4-7 years old). Jenn originally cast me as Bongo, the comically dim-witted constable. I agreed at first, but began to think that i might better serve the show as the Piper. Bongo was the juicier part acting-wise, but i felt i could be more of an anchor to the play as the Piper, particularly with so many new faces. I didn't mention this to Jenn, but somehow didn't need to - after the first week, she asked me to be the Piper. My german-accented Bongo had been kicking ass, but i was happy to do it. And for the first time, i wasn't the only adult actor. Kacie's Dad, Lew Philips, the ex-Sanibel Chief of Police, signed on to play the Mayor. I had a brief, unspoken territorial response, but Lew proved to be great company, and funny onstage. For the piping, Jenn gave me her old recorder, and i learned to play a bit, but it was decided to use canned music. I wore tights, a puffy shirt, and a hat with the biggest feather you've ever seen. As usual, the biggest joy was the kids...lordy, where do i start. With Jared! Back as one of only three to do all the shows (along with Whitney and Kacie), he took over the part of Bongo. It was rather a bit of typecasting, and he was great. He took particular delight in booting my keister out of town. Whitney was originally slated to play yet another cute line-repeating part, but Jenn decided to give her the more adult part of assistant rodent officer. It turned out to be a great choice; she really grew into it. Kacie played a delightful Rat Queen - she probably grew more than any actor that season. Quiet newcomer J.T. was the town crier. Early on, several of us asked Jenn what she was smoking when she made that choice, but by show time, she had him shouting and waving to beat the band (or at least make the band aware of his presence). Kayla played Rattytatty, the pest control officer. She and Whitney had matching Janet Jackson RHYTHM NATION costumes, and, free of Kacie and the dragon suit, she thrived. Her little sister Kelly played a rat, and became one of my special buddies, always after me to carry and toss her around. Emily didn't return (a choice she came to regret), but her big brother Greg was cast as the Innkeeper, and did a fine job. Their dad Ken ran the Sanibel Gulf station, and helped me with my Escort, which was burning through starters at an alarming rate. Danielle (Belle from SCROOGE) rejoined us to play the flower stall lady. Duchess Dingaling was played by great newcomer Kelsey. My special buddy Matt returned to play the Rat King. He and i were chosen to represent the show in a local TV spot, for which we had to get up at some ungodly hour (i hadn't used an alarm clock in a year or more). It was with Matt that i had the funniest moment of the run, when i pipe the kids out of town. Matt was by far the tallest, only a foot shorter than me. I led them in from the lobby, always carrying one of the smallest as we entered. In one of the final rehearsals, as we gathered to go in, i quickly gestured for Matt to let me pick him up. The smaller ones had been lobbying to be carried, as usual, but they quickly got what i was doing - there was much smiling and giggling as we all entered. It's wonderful and rare to make a theater full of adult technicians drop what they're doing, and laugh. Madison was back, as Old Widow Whiskers - in her first big part, she did wonderfully well. Stevie played the Mayor's bratty daughter well, and Christina played the Mayor's wife. At fifteen, she was one of the oldest, and we made a nice connection. Anny played Pattycake, and she and her rat sister Katie were a delight. Jamie played the dance tutor - her rat dance was macabre, quirky, and wonderful. She wasn't able to be in a performance at Sanibel Elementary, and the task of training her understudy, ten year-old Amelia, fell to me. She'd been an urchin in SCROOGE. I trained her because i was coincidentally giving her weekly acting lessons at her home on Sanibel. We loved each other, and she made enormous progress, making everyone forget she was an understudy. After our weekly lessons, she would usually ask me to stay and play, on the trampoline or in the pool. Good times. Sean and Amanda played rats, and through them i was made all too aware of how large the cast was. There was only so much time, and only so much me to go around. One day, Sean's mom Grace told me that he wanted to get his hair cut like mine. I hadn't even thought we'd made much of a connection; i was reminded to be humble and do the best i could, but not feel like i had to be Superman - kids make a connection with you or not, and much of that is never in your control. Grace herself grew to mean so very much to me (sigh). Adorable four year-old Logan became a star, chiefly because in rehearsals you never knew where he would wander, or what he would say (many of the older kids became Logan-wranglers). Many tykes were given one line (or one word), and when they actually spoke on cue (relatively speaking), the cute-meter was overloaded. A mandate came down from administration that Jenn could no longer do the pre-show prayer, and i was almost sorry to see it go. Even though i agreed with the decision, i thought the world of Jenn, and knew it was important to her. Robert also asked me not to let children on my lap. Sometimes in rehearsals, when the cast was receiving notes, i would let two of the smallest ones sit on my thighs. I had almost ended the tradition myself, when competition for lap-privileges became pronounced. But i was a bit concerned with Robert's request, until he assured me that it came from the administration, and not a parent. I understood the concern, in these molester-aware times when any appearance of impropriety was treated with witch-hunting zeal, and much that was innocent had the look of impropriety. I stopped having the kids on my lap (well, pretty much), and the world was a more damaged place for it. Willie was one of the little rats, and his deep connection with me amounted to a real breakthrough in his life. Whitney's little sister Dana, whom i'd picked up from the audience during a SCROOGE curtain call, played a rat, her smile as heart-melting as ever. Jenn's favorite was a cherubic towhead, Anthony. His line reading of "Pretzels!" elicited an almost audible inhale from the audience. Indeed, he was so cute that early on i determined not to show him special preference. He didn't respond to me much, and i might have gone to the grave thinking he hadn't liked me, had his mother Dawn not hired me to trim their trees a couple weeks after the show. About half an hour after i started working, Anthony came out and sat down, and before long was talking up a storm at me. When i took my lunch break, he asked me to play indoor golf with him, which we did for the better part of an hour. Dawn said that it took Anthony a long time to open up (another example of how the cast size was an obstacle in making connections). Which brings me to the cast member i made the most connection with in this final show. Her name was Nicole, and she played Kittykat. She had a lot of meowing lines, and handled them with the grace of a nine year-old (which was impressive, as she was five). She was my most special cuddle-buddy, always in my arms, always jockeying for lap privileges (she was the only one i broke the no-more-lap manifesto for, because i refused to make her think she had done anything wrong). With her holding on to me, i just melted. I did her makeup...i've stopped writing just now, trying to find adequate words…once, when she was on my lap, she scooted back into me, and pulled my arms around her, probably staying like that for five minutes. I may have had happier moments in my life...but maybe not. The show ended, we all made our sad, happy farewells…and a few months later, for financial reasons, the J. Howard Wood Theater closed its doors. It was home to some wonderful theater, and perhaps more impressively, was a genuine home for a few vagabonds like myself. I've been remiss in not mentioning Jim Conti, the Wood costumer, more often. Ever cheerful, one of the sweeter souls i've ever had the privilege to know, he was one of the people who made the wonderful Wood all it was.
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