Saturday, April 7, 2012

"Space: 1999"

1975-1977
The conventional wisdom on this sci fi offering from the prolific imagination of Gerry Anderson (THUNDERBIRDS, UFO) is, in a word...wrong. "Cerebral sci fi that 'jumped the shark' into action-oriented mindlessness"? Well, no. Not precisely, no. Yes, season 2 did go after a larger audience and lower common denominator. But something else happened. The only time they ever brushed greatness was in season 2...as children's sci fi.
To modern eyes, season 1 can't be called anything but plodding. It feels like it belongs in a museum, even though it was made almost a decade after the still-gripping STAR TREK. Is it cerebral? No. Being cerebral requires more than the appearance of cerebrality, dear brits. There has to be a genuine intellectual underpinning. Real-life spouses of thirty-six years, Martin Landau and Barbara Bain star as leaders of Moonbase Alpha. In a nuclear accident, the moon is sent spinning off into space, where adventures await. The look of the show is wonderful. The horseshoe-style lasers are absolutely classic. The eagles, their spaceships, are brilliant. Somehow both smooth and clunky, and boyohboy did the effects department have a blast wrecking these things. I don't know whether anyone's ever tabulated how many they lost, but it HAD to be more than they had in the hangar at the beginning. You could occasionally see the wires, but it's all so charmingly rendered that you buy into the reality. I had a toy eagle as a child, almost three feet long. The cockpit and engine disengaged to form a scout ship. Classic. And don't let the strings fool you...time and again, you'll be struck by how well-executed (and budgeted) this show was. Rounding out the leads is Barry Morse as the gentle, thoughtful Professor Bergman...his glacial acting, though merely indicative of a different style from another era, still manages to charm.
You may also wonder whether the phrase "plot hole" was invented for this show. But again, it was another time, with different structural conventions. Especially across the pond.
The second season brought an overhaul in the cast, music, and look. It's brighter and brisker, sexier and more playful, which feels great for about one episode. The music is a travesty...the season 1 theme is a towering tribute to symphonic sci fi synth/guitar music that could ONLY have come out of the 70s, but the new theme song rolls off some cheesy assembly line. Morse is gone, as the show falls prey to "youthicutifying" (an insidious fate which also befell UFO), with dewy new characters Maya and Tony. For the first chunk of the season, it feels awful. But then comes a moment of epiphany when you (and they?) finally stop taking the show seriously. The possibility that this shift wasn't intentional is unsettling (the season 2 producer was Fred Freiberger, who also oversaw the much-derided last season of STAR TREK)...but through luck or intent, it all slides into children's fare that can also delight an adult in the right frame of mind. Alas though, despite the ground-breaking inclusion of a strong female lead who is her own person, there are too many instances of females being portrayed as ineffectual and over-emotional, for this show to be recommended for modern youngsters. Smart? Cringingly regressive? The coin flips...
BEST EPISODES
-Earthbound
Moonbase Alpha intercepts an alien craft with a crew in suspended animation. Attempting to revive them, they kill one. The aliens are pacifists on an exploratory mission to Earth. Their captain is played by...Christopher Lee! In flowing, technicolor robes and Saruman hair, you keep waiting for him to turn villainous, but he never does. The villain turns out to be the resident political liaison, Commissioner Simmonds. The aliens can take one human to Earth, but rather than submitting to a lottery, Simmonds forces his way onto the alien craft. An unsettling ending worthy of TWILIGHT ZONE.
-The Guardians of Piri
A surreal planet turns the crew into mindless drones. A visual corker, but rather derivative, especially the unfortunate conceit of a commander so driven by duty that he is somehow exempted from an outside influence that incapacitates everyone else. Mildly going where sci fi has gone before, Commander Koenig discovers the planet is run by a super-computer.
-The Full Circle
Most of the watchable episodes of season 1 are so because of juicy guest stars or elevated camp. This one ain't about juicy guest stars. An away team disappears on a planet where cave people are discovered. Take some great visuals, ground mission protocols that make your eyes roll, patriarchal tormenting of a semi-clad Sandra (Ziena Merton, the regular with the third-highest number of episode appeances), throw in Landau and Bain in high troglodyte form, and you'd best start laughing.
-War Games
An attack by alien ships leaves half the population dead and Alpha unliveable. John and Helena go to them, hoping for a truce and sanctuary. The aliens reject them as primitive slaves to fear. Exciting visuals, the deaths of beloved characters, and the aliens proved right. The greatest flaw of current humanity exposed.
-Mission of the Darians
A beautiful teaser, then a first act that makes you feel commiseration for guest Joan Collins (we're not in "The City on the Edge of Forever" anymore, Toto), but the last half picks up nicely, with this tale of a drifting cityship whose inhabitants have taken to unsavory measures to survive. Plus...a nipple!
-Dragon's Domain
An offbeat episode told in flashback. Triggered by proximity to a space spider, pilot Tony Cellini has feelings he hasn't felt since a doomed mission. Look for Micheal Sheard (Admiral Ozzel, THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK).
-The Metamorph
Prepare to have your eyes flipped out of your head, as season 2 starts. The ubiquitous Brian Blessed is a metamorphic alien who wants the Alphan's brain energy. After the planet Psychon is destroyed, his naive daughter Maya (Catherine Schell, THE RETURN OF THE PINK PANTHER) becomes an Alpha regular. The (implied) metamporphic effects are quite charming, really. A fun ride which includes a non-bald crewmember named Picard.
-Journey to Where
If every 1999 episode had been as perky, we'd have had something. Earth from the future finds a way to communicate with Alpha and transport them home. John, Helena, and Alan (the reliable and charming Nick Tate, who logged more episodes than anyone but Martin and Barbara, and had to be bummed that he was "hunky" by british standards, but not american) end up in 14th-century Scotland. You're in for lots of laughs, in no small part because of the preposterousness of the science...but it's a fun ride. Also, high points for vision. No, not the dime-a-dozen vision of future Earth as a polluted wasteland, but the vision of professional competitive sports being abolished.
-The Bringers of Wonder
A ship arrives from Earth filled with loved ones and a way home. Only Koenig can see them for what they are...huge alien globs of energy-sucking badness. The whirlwind epitome of 1999 as children's fare, a cascading cornucopia of images and words that could send a child into flights of laughter, awe, fear, and wonder, all at the same time. They might even burn grandma's wig.
-The Dorcons
The most powerful race in the galaxy, and enemy of the psychons, lay a bombardment on Alpha, then take Maya away to plunder her brain stem. Metamorphs have brain stems? Koenig stows away, and thrashes around the dorcon ship trying to rescue her, aided by a nefarious nephew who wants the throne. A joyride to end the series.
NOTEWORTHY
-Missing Link
How about a lil' alien Peter Cushing two years before STAR WARS?
-The Troubled Spirit
It begins, as all 70s sci fi should, with an electric sitar concert in space.
-Space Brain
Three hours later, i'm still chuckling. Never in the history of science fiction have humans faced a foe so chilling as...SPACE LAUNDRY DETERGENT FOAM!!! Yup. The Andersons footed the bill for i don't know how many industrial washing machines. They overloaded them with detergent, and pointed them at the sets. The foam is supposedly so dense it crushes titanium with ease...yet the crew wriggles around in it, and come out fine (and presumably daisy-fresh).
-The Exiles
The season 1 hints of flirtation between Landau and Bain are now full-blown romance. There's a risque scene where Maya morphs into Helena to see whether John can spot the imposter.
-One Moment of Humanity
The plot holes in this one are over the top, probably even for a child. Helena and Tony are kidnapped to a planet where androids have taken over and made the humans pretend to be androids. They need the Alphans to teach them aggression. Hunh? The scene where a hunky android dirty dances a scantily-clad Helena to incite Koenig's jealousy must be seen to be believed.
-The Taybor
Great googily, if i ever make it to Moonbase Alpha, you'll need a crowbar to get me out of the solarium. That's what we calls "dialin' up the sexy".
-The Rules of Luton
TOTALITARIAN FRUITARIAN UTOPIA! Our heroes are put on trial for eating fruit that hadn't fallen from the tree. They must fight three other alien offenders to the death. Talk about low-hanging fruit (sorry)...this episode is the most richly-deserving MST3K fodder of the series. At one point, Koenig and Maya pause with bloodthirsty killers close on their trail, to sit down and talk about family and life and, y'know...stuff.
-The Mark of Archanon
It's about time some brave sci fi show had the cajones to hold aloft the banner of man/boy love. I'll leave it to you to decide whether to deposit this never-before, never-again moment of sci fi into your impressionable offspring's mind.
-The AB Chrysalis
Anyone for a little nekkid Sarah Douglas (SUPERMAN, SUPERMAN II, PUPPET MASTER III, MEATBALLS 4, RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD III, BEASTMASTER 2, CONAN THE DESTROYER)? Did i have fun putting that bio together?
-The Seance Spectre
Neither adult NOR child should be let within thirty feet of this one (unless their names are Joel, Mike, Servo, or Crow). Celluloid this banal doesn't deserve oxygen.
-Dorzak
Is there anyone on Alpha Vader doesn't choke? Richard LeParmentier (General Motti, STAR WARS), come on down!
-Devil's Planet
Watch Koenig synthesize Kirk's dual personality into one ass-kickin' lovemachine! He single-handedly puts a beat-down on a group of alien hotties in red bodysuits with whips! Plus a little Angus MacInnes (gold leader, STAR WARS)!

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