(Don't buy into the notion that this season is unworthy. There were clunkers, but gene's team was still in place, and there are episodes of absolute brilliance.)
FOUR-STAR EPISODES: 5
AVERAGE EPISODE RATING: 2.8
-Spock's Brain **
Brain and brain, what is brain?! Not as bad as its reputation, despite the fact that shatner, kelley, and doohan trashed it. This might be a lovely starter episode for children who have only seen TAS...but some unfortunate sexism torpedoes that possibility. I'm assuming they rejected the draft in which the aliens steal kirk's mojo?
-The Enterprise Incident ****
-written by d.c. fontana
-directed by john meredyth lucas
An edgy kirk orders Enterprise into the neutral zone, where it is quickly captured. He and spock transport onto a romulan ship, where kirk has a mental breakdown. Spock agrees to hand over Enterprise in exchange for crew amnesty. Audaciousness and unpredictability do battle with gaping plot holes, but what puts it over the top is the first female captain in TREK history - a romulan (joanne linville - A STAR IS BORN, THE GODDESS). Her counter-seductions with spock are tantalizing, and her final betrayal quite poignant.
-The Paradise Syndrome ***
Kirk falls into an obelisk, loses his memory, and is treated like a god by a native north american Earth society transplanted thousands of years ago to a far planet. He marries the gentle miramanee (sabrina scharf - EASY RIDER, HELLS ANGELS ON WHEELS), and is happy, perhaps for the first time in his life. The previous medicine man (rudy solari - THE WACKIEST SHIP IN THE ARMY, RETURN TO PEYTON PLACE) burns with jealousy. While carrying kirok's child, miramanee is murdered. Spock, in command of the Enterprise, must figure out how to deflect a planet-destroying asteroid. A poignant tale with a theme to which TREK would return, the duty-bound captain tasting a carefree life of love and family. The only thing standing between this and four stars is the patronizing, cultural-appropriation "ugh" quality. And this is what a show that was trying to be "enlightened" looked like in 1969! You should see the levels of bald-faced crassness on other shows, like BATMAN. TREK tried, really tried, to be sensitive and respectful...and utterly failed.
-And the Children Shall Lead *
Enterprise rescues children from a colony where the adults killed themselves. The kids take over, empowered by an "evil alien" (cue the ELO?). The writer is a regressive sexist who thinks that a woman's greatest fear is (or ought be) losing her looks (again, TREK?). The kids do a hocus-whammy gesture that's MST-ready, and the "good vs. evil" vibe is better suited to lesser sci fi, like that lucas hendecology. Look for brian tochi (SPACE ACADEMY, REVENGE OF THE NERDS).
-Is There in Truth No Beauty? **
Self-derivative and occasionally tedious (spock is damaged by neglecting to wear his visor, Enterprise hurled past the galaxy's edge...), but the speech he gives about corporeal isolation as he's experiencing medusan emotions, is quite touching. And strange shades of geordi...a blind person able to "see" through technology, who happens to wear a visor. Another appearance for diana muldaur (QUINCY M.E., BORN FREE)...marred by odious patriarchal boys' club condesension. No kids, please.
-Spectre of the Gun ****
-written by gene coon
-directed by vincent mceveety
As punishment for trespassing, the malkotians trap kirk, spock, mccoy, scotty, and chekov in a recreation of the gunfight at the OK Corral. The rest of the town sees them as the clanton/mcclaury gang, and they seem helpless to avoid the death stalking them. A beautiful example of budget restrictions making a better product - originally slated to be shot on location, the studio setting with intentionally incomplete sets lends a spooky feel. The guest stars, particularly the earps and doc holliday, are eerie and spot-on.
-Day of the Dove ***
An alien presence that feeds on hatred traps humans and klingons aboard Enterprise, gives them primitive weapons, and heals their wounds. TREK's klingon development is embryonic, yielding only tentative shadows of bloodthirsty warriors. Michael ansara (BUCK ROGERS IN THE 25th CENTURY, VOYAGE TO THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA) is kang, a worthy enemy. And chekov's almost-rape of a klingon woman ain't nothing. The only classic TREK episode that could be made a million times better today (no no no...you leave kirk vs. gorn alone, some things are sacred).
-For the World is Hollow, and I have Touched the Sky ***
Kirk, spock, and mccoy are uneasy guests inside a hollow asteroid where the inhabitants don't know there's a universe outside their home. Mccoy and the fabrini leader (katherine woodville - THE MYSTERY OF EDWIN DROOD, POSSE) fall in love. Having discovered that he's contracted a fatal disease, he chooses personal happiness over Starfleet. De kelley's greatest TREK.
-The Tholian Web ***
It moves along at a four-star pace until a seam bursts. Responding to a distress call from a sister ship, which is disappearing into an alternate universe, Enterprise is threatened by an energy web spun by the tholians, while waiting for kirk's re-emergence. Brilliant visuals inside the ill-fated Defiant. Another feminist embarrassment, as uhura comes across as simpering and ineffectual, unless daddy saves her. Who's daddy? Oh, any male, really. No kids allowed.
-Plato's Stepchildren ***
An object lesson in how hard it is to achieve four stars. Exquisite in so many ways...graceful writing by meyer dolinsky, compelling acting, and beautiful visuals. People who left Earth at the time of plato, achieving immortality and telekinesis on an alien world, abduct kirk, spock, and mccoy for entertainment and doctoring. Spock sings, laughs, and cries. Kirk acts like a horse. The dwarf alexander (poignantly rendered by michael dunn - THE WILD WILD WEST, THE WEREWOLF OF WASHINGTON) is the buffoon who ends up showing more heart than any of them. In her second TREK go-round, barbara babcock (HILL STREET BLUES, DR. QUINN) gives a beautiful, heartless performance. And of course, the first interracial kiss in television history. Wonderful.
-Wink of an Eye **
Aliens who exist in a state of hyper-acceleration commandeer Enterprise. They bring a handful of crewmembers into their reality to keep things running, and deela's (kathie browne - BONANZA, HONDO) attraction to kirk is the wedge he needs to get a message to spock and re-take the ship.
-The Empath **
Trapped in an alien laboratory, kirk, spock, and mccoy find a mute empath and become the subjects of physical/psychological experiments. A touching performance by kathryn hays (THE ROAD WEST, AS THE WORLD TURNS).
-Elaan of Troyius *
More cringingly flawed than any Trek ever. Enterprise is assigned to transport an arrogant elasian (france nuyen - SOUTH PACIFIC, THE JOY LUCK CLUB) to Troyius, where she will marry their leader and bring peace. The troyian ambassador (the unforgettably unctuous jay robinson - THE ROBE, BRAM STOKER'S DRACULA) thinks she's a barbarian, and gets knifed for his trouble. Kirk instructs her in duty and etiquette, returns slap for slap, and wouldn'cha know...they have sex! The abhorrent message? Strong women long to be "broken" (or spanked). No child (or adult) should wander within a parsec of this. Writer john meredyth lucas, you bring shame upon your species.
-Whom Gods Destroy **
Big heapings of scene-chewing and sexiness. Kirk and spock deliver drugs to a prison for the criminally insane, but the asylum has been taken over by inmate and Starfleet legend captain garth (a seamless performance by steve ihnat - IN LIKE FLINT, HOUR OF THE GUN). Yvonne craig (BATMAN, IN LIKE FLINT) is eye-popping and even nuanced as an orion inmate. Pathetically idiotic writing, but it looks great (this would clearly be the template abrams would study for the reboot).
-Let That Be Your Last Battlefield ****
-written by oliver crawford
-directed by jud taylor
Bele. Lokai. Lokai. Bele...gorshin!!! Iconic. Racism's too hot for network TV? Let's just see what TREK has to say 'bout that. Frank (BATMAN, TWELVE MONKEYS) and lou antonio (COOL HAND LUKE, SPLENDOR IN THE GRASS) play duochromatically-opposed aliens who have pursued each other for 50,000 years. They hijack Enterprise, only to find that race hatred left their planet lifeless millennia ago.
-The Mark of Gideon ***
Those subversive TREK writers. Know what this episode is? The most thinly-veiled pro-choice commercial to ever slide past the censors. Set on a planet so overcrowded that people are literally standing shoulder to shoulder, their leaders bemoan their fatal devotion to the sanctity of life. They kidnap kirk and transport him to a fake Enterprise, where he is supposed to fall in love with odona (sharon acker - THE NEW PERRY MASON, THRESHOLD), who pretends not to know where she is. Communicable, lethal disease will be reintroduced into the population.
-That Which Survives **
An away team must deal with the repeated materializations of a woman who kills those she touches. Painfully written in spots...but lee meriwether (BATMAN: THE MOVIE, THE TIME TUNNEL) continues the batathon! Also, my nominee for the worst actor in the history of TREK? Naomi pollack as lt. radha.
-The Lights of Zetar **
A lethal, sentient energy cloud possesses scotty's new love, lt. mira romaine (ROOM 222, BEN CASEY). A disappointing lapse in writing, as we're back to killing aliens we don't understand...and the patronizing, sexist portrayal of mira is truly cringeworthy. No kids, please.
-Requiem for Methusalah ***
Two worthy additions to TREK lore - flint (james daly - PLANET OF THE APES, MEDICAL CENTER), a 6000 year-old hermit genius who was brahms, solomon, and da vinci (hmm, don't recall janeway's holo-leonardo looking like...), and reyna (louise sorel - PLAZA SUITE, AIRPLANE II: THE SEQUEL), genius android unaware of her nature. The episode is an unintentionally brilliant metaphor for monogamy...an innocent dies when her two loves demand she choose one or the other.
-The Way to Eden ***
When you think 1969, many images come to mind...none of which have anything to do with STAR TREK. But in this episode, the 60s zeitgeist blooms, in a way that's kinda glorious. Really. How can "hippies take over Enterprise" be anything other than a disaster? Just let it flow, daddy-o. Led by insane genius sevrin (skip homeier - THE INTERNS, THE GHOST AND MR. CHICKEN), a band of utopians seeking a technology-free life are arrested by Enterprise for stealing a starship. Totally flower-childed out in dress and speech, they buddy up to the crew before taking over. Guess who knows their secret handshake? C'mon, guess! Spock. No, really. He admires their quest, and has a jam session with them. No, really. He has a conversation with sevrin which is subtly, exquisitely written. He bonds with one of the followers (charles napier - THE BLUES BROTHERS, AUSTIN POWERS), who turns this episode into HAIR in space. No, really. Chekov was once in love with one of the hippies. It all ends in disaster, but it's beautiful, because not for one second does it pander. Greatest book title nimoy never wrote? "I am Not Herbert".
-The Cloud Minders ***
Workers, lay down your chains, the union train's a-comin'! A repressed working class agitates on an "idyllic" planet. As with any good union film, the climax is a dirty mess in a mine shaft. Jeff corey (BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID, CONAN THE DESTROYER) is spot-on as the indignant oppressor. His disturbingly sexy daughter (diana ewing - THE WAY WE WERE, 80 STEPS TO JONAH) develops a bad case of spock-crush. His responses, sadly, ain't written so well, even though nimoy acts it so wonderfully you might not notice.
-The Savage Curtain ****
-written by gene roddenberry, arthur heinemann
-directed by herschel daugherty
A burst of TREK wonderment. A rock-based lifeform kidnaps kirk and spock, and conjures figures from their minds, to study good and evil. On the side of good? Abraham lincoln (a lovely performance by lee bergere - BOB&CAROL&TED&ALICE, DYNASTY) and the founder of vulcan logic, surak (consummately rendered by barry atwater - SWEET BIRD OF YOUTH, DR. KILDARE). The dialogue between spock and surak is so tight it hums, and is the perfect antidote to later writers and actors who won't do vulcan so well. On the evil side? The great klingon kahless, khan (no, the other one!), col. green of the eugenics wars, and zora neale hurston. Brilliant at every turn.
-All Our Yesterdays ****
-written by jean lisette aroeste
-directed by marvin j. chomsky
One of the few TREKs to take you a place of emotional bleakness, and leave you there. Kirk, spock, and mccoy beam down to a pre-warp planet facing the death of its sun. The sole apparent survivor is a time portal librarian (the second TREK turn for the wonderful ian wolfe - DICK TRACY, WKRP IN CINCINNATI). They accidentally go through. Kirk is jailed in an era of pre-industrial witchhunting, and his guard is johnny haymer (M*A*S*H, ANNIE HALL). Spock and mccoy end up in a prehistoric ice age populated only by zarabeth (mariette hartley - MARNIE, GENESIS II), a political exilee. Spock finds himself reverting to the vulcan barbarism of 5000 years before, claiming zarabeth and almost killing mccoy. The chemistry is so profound, your spirit tears as they realize that leaving would kill her. A breathtaking, elevated sci fi meditation (and deserving of the featured slot in any SCREW-THE-TEMPORAL-PRIME-DIRECTIVE-A-THON, as all the inhabitants of a dying planet are sent back into any historical period they wish).
-Turnabout Intruder *
Somewhere in this worst classic episode ever, there was a good intention - this would be TREK's greatest feminist moment! The plot revolves around the idea that no woman could become a starship captain. Talk about hoisted by one's own petard...instead of pricking the conscience, it just comes off as painful to even consider that this could be part of humanity's future. It's easy to say that decades later, but i suspect this one has been making people wince since the 70s, as it also flogs the idea that jilted women go insane. Lost in the mess is the funniest neck pinch ever (compliments of redshirt john boyer), and jimmy doohan's greatest classic scene. It's tempting to wish that "All Our Yesterdays" could have been the last episode...but perhaps this crashing dud coming last somehow contributes appropriately to the show's mythology, symbolic of the network mishandling of the greatest television show ever.
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