There's a misconception about bicyclists, and it's time someone cleared it up.
Bikers are not in better shape than you.
There, it's been said.
Bikers will never admit this. Indeed, they will do everything to induce you into believing the opposite...that the speed with which they zip by pedestrians and drivers in midtown traffic, is a pure reflection of their physical essence...physiques speedy and sleek, while walkers are squishy, and the less said about drivers, the better.
Tain't so. Sure, drivers are doughy-derriered, but you'll never find a single walker who isn't in better shape than the average biker.
All bikers are complicit in maintaining this illusion. We feel we deserve it, because even if we're not in better shape, we're just, well, better. Bikers are the love children of Charlie Darwin and God.
And how do we go about fooling you?
Coasting.
We move by so fast, that you cannot begin to see our journey's bigger picture.
All bikers quickly learn how to maximize trip efficiency through skillful navigation of the native terrain, and adroit use of their zippy flyers.
You might see us pushing our pedals hard a couple times. Then we're gone, and you don't realize we're about to coast for the next quarter mile.
You think i'm joking? Even in a city as flat as Manhattan, nature's advantages are there for the taking. On a north-south round trip, we always go north on the west side. Going south, Herman Shimpster set the NYC minimal-pedaling record in October 1972, hitting every light perfectly and using the Murray Hill gradient to go 37 blocks on two pedal-turns. Again, pedestrians lose the bigger picture. For centuries walkers have scratched their heads, looking for "Murray Hill". They were standing on it.
The average biker pedals exactly one time for every 50 steps a walker takes. What, you think i could make that up?
I probably could.
Next time you're by a biker at an intersection stop, slide your hand under their shirt. You'll find that cars aren't the only things with a spare tire.
Tomorrow: CAFFEINE DRINKERS - ALERT OR JUST ANNOYING?
1 comment:
Sooo true! There are so many bikers here that act like they own the road (literally). I also have yet to see any that look great in their head to toe spandex. Shane found some research saying that bikers are very prone to heart attacks. Wish I could find that link now.
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