tears actually

LOVE ACTUALLY
2003, directed by richard curtis

Update: I was mildly surprised to learn that some feminists hate this movie, and...you can't deny they're mostly right. The trope that posits wimyn are better seen and not heard, and that they exist to be "won" by a dynamic male? That critique has merit.

But i originally took this movie into my heart, not in spite of its occasional idiocy, but BECAUSE of that. It's a romantic comedy - doesn't one watch any rom-com with the presumption of idiocy? The fact that it's occasionally smart, wasn't the point either. I thought that in embracing a rom-com, any rom-com (something i'd almost never done), i would gain common ground with many wimyn. And perhaps thus increase my chances of getting laid.

An admittedly mercenary motivation...but underneath that was joy over the fact that this movie sometimes actually tells the truth about romance. Some people in this happy movie get CREAMED, with no reprieve, and i will always be grateful to the creators for that.

Plus...the most-vilified plotline, with the smitten best man showing love posters to his best friend's wife? That's one of my favorites - perhaps the only moment in cinematic history that speaks to my experience of the often stunningly-noble aspect of unrequited love.

Maybe you've never been there.

Is the film idiotic?

Of course.

Except when it's not. Can you say that about any other rom-com?

(original review)
I cried thrice in the past twenty-four hours, all while watching the movie LOVE ACTUALLY (or its special features). It's such a gentle miracle, crying, and i wonder whether i'll ever do so as much as i'd like. I've come a long way from my boys-don't-cry childhood, but still only cry once a month or less.
LOVE ACTUALLY, from the creators of NOTTING HILL and ABOUT A BOY, is wonderful. I've never seen a movie so happy and life-affirming you nearly forget that some characters don't find the love they need. We all muddle about, disappointing and hurting one another...and even when we get things right, there's a doomed longing to have love wrap us up and never leave.

Today's tears were while watching the deleted scenes, and a feature on the music (it's all wonderful, none more so than joni's new recording of "Both Sides Now"...the wisdom and sadness she precociously penned in her twenties are given heart-rending texture decades later). Not only should everyone add this movie to their holiday tradition, everyone should pester Universal to release a "deleted scenes/no-colin" version (um, that's colin the CHARACTER, not colin the actor). The cut scenes are often better than ones kept in. The commentary is delightful too.
Are there moments (and one entire colin plotline) that are forced and saccharine? Sure. But this movie also starkly reflects the pain we inflict on ourselves in the name of monogamy - jealousy, betrayal, denial...we put ourselves through agonizing spiritual contortions, trying to fit ourselves into a paradigm contrary to our nature. In the corners of this film, there might be tiny baby steps into a more enlightened future. Three plotlines (a spoiled rock star and his manager, a step-father and his child, and two adolescents) celebrate love itself, free of sexuality.
My tears remind me that this past year there have been two songs which have made me cry - paul simon's "Father and Daughter", and don henley's "Annabel". An insight into my lonely, grieving spirit...

I actually love...all of you.