Sunday, May 2, 2021

musings on an online erotic poetry open mic

Blah blah words words...
Why so cynical? Some of these poems so so beautiful
Did i dream of skydiving dick-first into the host's home?
Did i hand-fuck myself for two hours without coming
waiting for permission from Ohio?
"Good boy". Thank you.
Do i avoid invoking the ones who really pushed my buttons?
The ones who might not be comfortable
with my blood pole pulsing for them
with dreams of penetration ovulation rainbow baby creation
Why do impractical, impossible impregnation fantasies
consume me?
Perhaps because if you're old enough and sensitive enough and MALE enough
your sexual history can seem a slaughtered sacrifice
Mortified by millennia of molestation and brutalization
by people who looked like YOU
So you've never leered, cat-called
or even really
flirted
But again...why so open mic cynical?
Because i always bristle at cozy or comfortable
That's how all poetry open mics hit me
Just pandering parrots
pressing literary buttons
to get the affirmation we all need
Avoiding anything truly fearless or fraught
Preach your progressive outrage at a Tea Party party!
But can i live up to my own standards?
Throughout the event
i resisted the temptation
to send a personal appreciation
to any poet who perked my libido
Were others less discreet?
If you could see a transcript
of the personally-sent event messages
wouldn't THAT be more entertaining
than the poems themselves?
And oh, how i rue
the day i learned what "pinning" can do
To enlarge any attendee without their knowing...
i don't want that temptation!
Like us all, i like to look at that i desire
Did i resist?
I did NOT
I pinned two performers not even performing
just to let my lust drink her in
Like a self-shamed addict with the DTs
i de-pinned within ten seconds
as though THAT made it less invasive
(while i dreamed of someone pinning me
on the sly)
That's the thing about objectification
Most of us love it
in the right context
But those shoals of shallowness
never far away
Why do i lust so faithfully
for the fit and fertile
Why are all others barely visible
to my broken, reptilian brain?
Next week: Is it possible to have a cock so anti-racist, it's racist?

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