lucky lou in left

Lucky lou lonaghan was the worst fielder ever
and that was his saving grace
He was so wretched fans came in droves
In the lineup he always had a place
He played for the Beanville Bats, where Bat fans wore lucky lou hats
(that's not bats as in balls and bats but bats as in flyin' rats)
Beanville had a center fielder though, the greatest of 'em all
Screamin' sue biobaku had rocket feet and could leap any wall!
They couldn't put lou in right, that was the home of big tater
Big tater yang had a shotgun arm, but was slower than a busted elevator
He swung big lumber at the plate, then lumbered to the field alas
How that home crowd cringed when tater took to the grass
Together the most entertaining outfield humyn eye had ever seen
It was snack time when Beanville was up, but magic time when they hit the green
At the plate lou played with savvy and skill, but for a swell bunt nobody swoons
No, it was lou's larks in the field that turned quiet folk to howling loons
Every single play a disaster waiting
Batters who hit his way started celebrating
Sue covered more field than a retractable dome
But too far from tater she never could roam
A shallow pop to lou made a batter sing
It was like lou's glove had some hidden spring
Line drives would leave lou lying on his belly
Was his glove slick-coated with petroleum jelly?
But mostly, what made folks hide their eyes was when lou looked up at lofty pop flies
He would circle and circle and circle, seeking some perfect spot to tread
When at last that sphere returned to Earth it would land right on lou's head
Finally lou threw his glove in the trash, without any remorse or regret
After that he just grabbed his hat and waved it like a butterfly net!
He'd catch a few too, maybe one of every four!
(a higher percentage than he'd fielded before)
And for those pop-ups, he finally got wise and took his batting helmet to the field
He'd stand under those descending balls, on his pate a polypropylene shield
If a ball knocked his noggin it would bounce back in the air
Then he'd brandish his cap, that intrusive missile to snare
Why, lou became so good at the angles he could bounce most flies to sue
(give sue an extra few seconds and she always knew just what to do)
Whenever the Bats were ahead, into the stands lou might bounce a ball
He was kindhearted like that, and knew it meant more fun for all
So how did lou get the nickname lucky?
A scattershot of scornful irony?
No no, it was a happy reminder
of the greatest play the world ever did see
One day lou was circling, circling, trying to spy a pop fly overhead
He suddenly tripped over his own feet and went down like falling into bed
As he lay there stunned the ball went "SPLUNK"
As usual, avoiding the ground
But this time it didn't find his head
It landed square on his buttock mound
In later years the media he'd tease
saying he gave his cheeks a quick squeeze
Maybe that's true, or maybe not
but that ball stayed glued right to that spot
The batter was out, lou had saved the day!
Shoulder-high, his team carried him away
And today, the only thing lou fields are queries
He's happy to, for with that catch the Bats won the Series