thievery

Have i been a victim of theft?
More than i can ever say. That applies to us all, though. Every day of my life, my security, my sexuality, my very humynity have been stolen right out from under my nose. Gone.
In the interpersonal/material picture, not so much. Someone once pickpocketed my wallet. A landlord stole my security deposit. A real estate agent stole my refund.
Nowhere is our culture more purely hypocritical than when it comes to stealing. On the surface we condemn it, but then we set up our institutions so that theft is tolerated, encouraged, even lauded. Capitalism is all about maximizing your pile at the expense of someone else's. Corners are cut, the system is worked, "grey" areas abound, and short-sighted self-absorption reigns. In the big picture, what HASN'T humynity stolen from each other, from other societies, or other species? A corrupt system produces corrupt individuals. End of story.
My reaction to all this has been pretty quixotic. Even in my earliest memories, the thought of stealing was anathema. Not that i was revolted, but i just knew that such behavior had nothing to do with me. Ah, the purity of youthful naivete. As an adult, i've had to (at least marginally) play the games, so of course i've stolen other people's dignity. I've done my best to avoid that, but in the big picture, who am i kidding?
My idealistic tendencies were no doubt enforced by the cultural cesspool that i perceived as a child. Something was rotten in the state of Denmark, and rising above it seemed the only option. Not that this was a conscious decision, it just unfolded over time.
Which is why my first theft was utterly unforgettable.
I was nine when Star Wars came out. My action figures were the pride of my materialistic life, and i took great care of them. I mean, i was still a kid, i PLAYED with them - i wasn't OC, and it never would have occurred to me to keep them "in the box", so i had to replace my original luke, and i wore the silver off blue snaggletooth's boots. But i played gently, and always kept each figure with its correct accessories.
Which is why i was mortified when, at the age of ten, i...lost princess leia's gun. I had a brown/tan/black shag carpet, which may have been the culprit. I gently agonized over the loss.
Then one day, my mom took me to a department store. I was wandering the Star Wars aisle when i saw it...
Someone had ripped open a princess leia box, and stolen the figure. But that rank (or nervous) amateur had left...the gun! There it was, taped to the dangling, clear plastic case. My eyes boggled (at least internally).
It was the first moral crisis of my life.
I knew that at that point, nobody would care about the gun. The damage had been done, and a 1.5cm piece of plastic had no value to the store.
But still, i was pondering....THEFT.
I thought about my tragically incomplete figure. Having my own money to replace lost items was still years away. I thought and thought, and my hand reached out. I touched the box, glancing all around.
I pocketed the gun, and made my getaway.
In the aftermath, i was not wracked with guilt. But did the experience reinforce the notion of never wanting to steal? Probably.
So i didn't...for another twenty years.
I was a working actor on Sanibel Island. The theater, the company, the plays, everything was just wonderful. I grew very attached to a backstage robe, which i wore to keep warm or protect my costume during breaks. This robe was classic - a melange of jungle creatures on a samurai design, complete with metal buckle and a flowing shoulder attachment.
I was underpaid...which perhaps goes without saying. Ah rationalization, i hear your siren call...
But seriously, at one point the wage of actors at my level had been slashed, and we told them we'd rather quit. Solidarity, brother!
After the last performance of a season in which i'd done four or five amazing shows, and made quite a bond with this robe, i walked out to my car, opened the trunk, and made a deposit.
Episode V, Return of the Wrobber? I suppose so.
And now...in some ways, i know i'm not the absolutist i once was. Living in a corporate world leaves one very cynical, materialistically. If there's no clear humyn victim, like if i saw that hypothetical bag of money on the street...
Plus, it's been a long time since i even believed in private property. The quixotic part of me won't let me extend that to its logical conclusion, but i'd have a hard time condemning anyone who did.
Ah, the felon's life for me...
How about you?