"Soap"

-created by susan harris
1977-1981
Infidelity, impotence, homosexuality, miscegenation, incest, insanity, sexual harassment, student/teacher sex, communists, new age cults, alcoholism, alien abduction, demonic possession...what was all the fuss about? Only one of the five funniest shows ever (alongside M*A*S*H, MONTY PYTHON'S FLYING CIRCUS, DA ALI G SHOW, and CHAPELLE'S SHOW). It arrived on the air in the midst of a furor of protest by religious and "family values" groups, but instantly won a following. It was cancelled after its fourth season, partly due to sponsor unease, but mostly because it had fallen out of the top thirty. Creator harris (THE GOLDEN GIRLS, EMPTY NEST) also wrote or co-wrote every episode, and seldom has an artistic vision felt so perfectly realized. Between them, jay sandrich (MARY TYLER MOORE, GET SMART) and j.d. lobue (OH MADELINE, HERMAN'S HEAD) directed every episode save one. A parody of daytime soap operas, it ran with all the over-the-top cliches of the genre (plus a few that more), but what made a great idea genius was a lightning strike of cast chemistry, plus a murderer's row of recurring characters. The actors all imbued their work with a resonance deeper than mere silliness, making the poignant moments as memorable as the madcap. An episode guide is rather pointless, as each one is pretty uniformly perfect. So here's a tribute to...the greatest cast ever?
-jessica tate, 87 episodes: katherine helmond (BRAZIL, WHO'S THE BOSS?)
A dippy suburban mother and wife with a heart of gold, all the men fell for her (onscreen and off), making her the first middle-aged female sex symbol in TV history. She has a guilt-ridden fling with her tennis instructor, but is blind to her husband's serial philandering. Then she falls in love with the detective she hires to find him when he has amnesia, and eventually falls for the leader of a south american revolution.
-announcer, 87 episodes: rod roddy (THE PRICE IS RIGHT, HOUSE OF MOUSE)
His brilliant balance of tongue-in-cheek earnestness was paired with perfect freeze-frame cinematography, making the show intros and wrap-ups at least as funny as the show itself.
-burt campbell, 86 episodes: richard mulligan (LITTLE BIG MAN, EMPTY NEST)
Husband, father, blue-collar worker and eventual sheriff (who also played a libidinous alien copy of himself)...standing out in this cast was nearly impossible, but richard's facial tics, grunts, guffaws and double-takes provided the most laughs-per-second of any (non-wooden) character.
-mary campbell, 84 episodes: cathryn damon (WEBSTER, SHE'S HAVING A BABY)
Burt's wife, and the other sister at the center of the silliness. Her saintly down-to-earth sensibilities made her the perfect complement to jessica.
-danny dallas, 79 episodes: ted wass (SHEENA, BLOSSOM)
The son of mary (and, unbeknownst to all, chester) who is almost a male version of his aunt jessica. He falls into romance with a mob princess, a black widow, a hit man's girlfriend, and a prostitute, giving his all each time. His interracial love affair with polly (lynne moody - THAT'S MY MAMA, HILL STREET BLUES) is one of the most tender, touching, transformative, and transcendent tales of the series.
-chester tate, 77 episodes: robert mandan (THE BEST LITTLE WHOREHOUSE IN TEXAS, THREE'S A CROWD)
The smarmy stock broker husband of jessica, who beds his sister-in-law, secretary, pastor's daughter, and daughter's maid of honor. He also kills his wife's lover, but beats the rap with temporary insanity.
-jodie dallas, 76 episodes: billy crystal (THE PRINCESS BRIDE, CITY SLICKERS 1-2)
Son of mary, and one of the first openly gay characters in TV history. Billy played the part with simple sincerity, as he dates an NFL player (for whom he plans a sex change, and then attempts suicide), and unintentionally fathers a child he then raises alone. When he falls in love with the detective he hires to track down his kidnapped daughter, he tries hypnosis to "cure" his homosexuality, but comes out an eighty year-old jewish man.
-eunice tate, 67 episodes: jennifer salt (MIDNIGHT COWBOY, BREWSTER MCCLOUD)
The snooty but secretly slutty daughter of jessica and chester, she dates a congressman and a convict.
-billy tate, 65 episodes: jimmy baio (THE BAD NEWS BEARS IN BREAKING TRAINING, THE MIRROR HAS TWO FACES)
The sensible teenage son of jessica and chester, he has to be rescued from the sunny cult, has an affair with his teacher, and becomes an officer in the malaguayan revolutionary army.
-the major, 62 episodes: arthur peterson (RETURN TO PEYTON PLACE, ROLLERCOASTER)
The irascible father of mary and jessica, who believes he's still fighting WWII. Burt, bob, and the major are the big three.
-corinne tate, 61 episodes: diana canova (THE FIRST NUDIE MUSICAL, THROB)
The loving, sensible daughter of jessica and chester, who falls in love with her priest. She has a baby possessed by the devil, then falls in love with her sister's convict boyfriend. She left the show to star in I'M A BIG GIRL NOW with danny thomas (which tanked in its first season). You barely notice because the quality never falters, but her season 4 absence made the show a little too much of a sausage fest.
-chuck campbell & bob, 61 episodes: jay johnson (BROKEN BADGES, JAY JOHNSON: THE TWO AND ONLY!)
The son of burt, who shows up with a ventriloquist dummy he thinks is alive. To call bob anything less than one of the regulars is just crazy, because his snide zings at all the lunacy around him are at the heart of what made SOAP genius. According to legend, the directors originally couldn't figure out why the sound levels were always wrong with bob, until they realized the mic operators were so taken with the puppet's reality, they were pointing their mics at the wrong mouth.
-benson dubois, 51 episodes: robert guillaume (BENSON, SPORTS NIGHT)
The no-nonsense butler of the tates, who brooks no guff from (and might not serve breakfast to) anyone he doesn't like. His friendship with jessica was one of the heartbeats of the show. He left during the third season for a spin-off, and it was only through a minor miracle of casting that he wasn't more sorely missed.
-dutch leitner, 38 episodes: donnelly rhodes (HILL STREET BLUES, GALACTICA)
The tough, uncouth convict who breaks his unwilling cellmate chester out of jail, then falls in love with both of his daughters.
-father flotsky, 24 episodes: sal viscuso (M*A*S*H, SPACEBALLS)
The priest relentlessly pursued by corinne, he finally relents and soon has to perform an exorcism on his own baby.
-saunders, 16 episodes: roscoe lee browne (BLACK LIKE ME, A DIFFERENT WORLD)
The new butler, always classier and savvier than his employers.
-elaine lefkowitz, 16 episodes: dinah manoff (GREASE, EMPTY NEST)
An obnoxious, spoiled mob princess who makes her father force danny to marry her, she gets gunned down after she finally allows him to love her.
-chief tinkler, 12 episodes: gordon jump (WKRP IN CINCINNATI, CONQUEST OF THE PLANET OF THE APES)
The bumbling local lawman who loves what he smells...
-peter campbell, 8 episodes: robert urich (VEGA$, SPENSER: FOR HIRE)
Burt's other son, a hunky tennis instructor who has a fling with both jessica and corinne, then is shot, stabbed, choked, bludgeoned, and drowned for his trouble.
-mr. franklin, 7 episodes: howard hesseman (WKRP IN CINCINNATI, THIS IS SPINAL TAP)
The slimy prosecutor at jessica's murder trial.
-saul, 5 episodes: jack gilford (CATCH-22, COCOON)
A 2000 year-old prisoner aboard the alien ship, who befriends burt.
-flo flotsky, 4 episodes: doris roberts (REMINGTON STEELE, EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND)
The possessive, melodramatic martyr mother of a fallen priest...
-mr. lefkowitz, 4 episodes: sorrell booke (ALL IN THE FAMILY, THE DUKES OF HAZZARD)
A jewish mob boss who disinherits his disgusting daughter.
Plus george wendt, william daniels, g.w. bailey, michael conrad, john hillerman, kurtwood smith, and bea arthur in one-offs.