once...

A kitten once fell through my ceiling
That don't happen every day!
I once ran down a booming volcano
(no, not in fear, but play)

I was once sniffed in the sea by a shark
That don't happen every day!
I once held a two-hundred pound snake
(crocodile kate said it was okay)

I was once hit on the head by a coconut
That don't happen every day!
I once found a friend who'd been lost in the woods
Hunger had been eating him away

I was on a girls' team that trounced the boys
That don't happen every day!
I once held four women in five nights
(my sanest week, the scientists say)

I once loved a woman who'd been raped
No, more, maybe...four? No way!
Perhaps i'll just count the ones
who hadn't been raped, if i may?

I once pooped in the pool
I was just a kid, i wouldn't do it today!
I've looked in the barren hearts of men
and breathed relief not to be gay

Once i opened my soul to god
and found no reason to pray
Once i was told to be normal
and found no reason to obey