Monday, June 9, 2014

Rebirth! Of a blog!

(a semi-sequel to http://nakedmeadow.blogspot.com/2008/02/birth-of-blog.html)
I sit here on a beautiful 90-degree day, in my thoreau-sized home on this little Gulf of Mexico island. I'm not in a meadow, but i'm plenty naked. My door is open. In a nod to the detail-richness with which the previous incarnation of this site was based, the only sounds i hear are the peepings and rustlings of the birds and breeze, a neighbor's air conditioner some thirty feet away, and "Wrapped Around Your Finger" coming from cottages across the canal. The only garment within reach is boxer shorts, which i use to dab post-masturbation drippy-dick. Do post-sex cocks drip more when you don't ejaculate? I'm not positive, but i think so.
I say "nod" to such details, because i've evolved away from personal revelation in my writing. I'm still dedicated to being naked as ever, but there's more focus on enlightenment and entertainment. Let's assume that the person most fascinated by "me" in this world is me. If it's possible for ME to be occasionally bored by me (which it is), i'll assume that humanity isn't holding its breath waiting for details of my toenail infection.
Second nail from the right. In case you were wondering.
Anyway.
Here we are...in the naked meadow!
Why are we here?
To find our freedom, and lose our fear.
Why did we leave "unboughtsoul"? It's a happy parting - there's no love lost with the name and spirit into which i poured my life for half a decade. This change has been coming for a while, though. There's an inescapably negative quality to the prefix "un". Negativity, even righteous negativity, is burdensome. Pure positivity, more liberating.
The black background of the former site? Also heavy. This new one is the color of kermit, and my favorite hue, sky blue.
And as poetic as "unboughtsoul" was, it didn't trip off the tongue. It's a strange construction, and just a little cumbersome. I also never liked the religious association of "soul".
And that aforementioned ME focus...unboughtsoul was about drawing a line in the sand, and while i wish such line-drawing for everyone, the language inevitably drew attention to my own life. In the less-me spirit, i'm also removing some of my photos. Do i lack the courage of my convictions, in not removing ALL such, so as to eliminate any possibility of someone liking (or disliking) this site just because of my looks? Possibly...but there are some things you just don't do, and not sharing a picture of oneself with shatner is at the top of that list.
My first choice for the new site was "nakedfreedom". A clarion call! "Naked" was a given...metaphorically or literally, there's no more beautiful word in the English language. But that site name? Taken! "Nakedfree" was available...but i quickly realized there were some undesirable connotations there. I tossed around other options, including "freedomnaked", but the beauty of "naked meadow" won me over. The words are almost musical. I heard a soft bell inside my head, pondering them for the first time. In the confluence of language and culture at this moment in history, naked meadow resonates. It sounds like a place you've never been, but have been looking for all your life. Everything that was ever happy, everything that was ever free...
Plus, it's ever so faintly sexy. Not so much that the forces of puritanism will ban me "site" unseen, but...gently and quietly, naked meadow is a place where all dreams, carnal and otherwise, become real.
On top of all that, there was a possible "truth in advertising" conflict coming down the road. Unboughtsoul was a promise of purity, a vow to be untainted by money. No advertisers monitoring content, no editors pressuring me to "tone it down". I even tried to avoid knowledge of my "hits" numbers, so as to escape being encouraged or discouraged by anything other than my naked truth. However, i may be fast approaching a time when i'll be offered money for my words. If not the words themselves, then for public speaking. Without automatically compromising my integrity, i'm preparing myself to accept such rewards. Perhaps it's a coward's way out, but we live in a world of unchecked brutality. I've lived too close to the edge (and seen how unfeeling we are to those who fall off) to be thrilled having no buffer between myself and the destitution that spares so few. Even if that buffer is little more than a fool's illusion. If my vision and creativity can bring me some amount of creature comfort, while still maintaining integrity...
I'll probably do it.
I know how obvious a choice that seems to most. But think deeply, and your mind might take a different turn.
My eyes are open to the possible corruptions. And mere world-weariness wouldn't be quite enough to make me sell myself - there also has to be a potentially stunning upside. The dark tone of the previous paragraphs notwithstanding, i've now taken my first baby steps into the world of original material public speaking.
And?
Flashes of brilliance and absolute beauty. Out of the thousand-some unboughtsoul posts, are there a few dozen capable of making strangers laugh, get misty-eyed, or think about things they never thunk before?
The early answer seems to be yes, in ways both expected and not.
Can i avoid the pitfalls of "Like me, please like me??", or "give 'em what they like"? Can anyone, other than a pure hermit? Probably not. But i'll bust my ass trying.
So we step into a naked meadow! And "nakedfreedom" becomes the road untraveled. It would have been a more overtly revolutionary road, but it also would have carried more burden of challenge for the reader - "Am i being free enough? Oh lawsy, am i being NAKED enough??" Naked meadow is more peaceful and accepting. Which invokes the question, what's my focus - lighting a fire under the world's ass, or making people feel understood and comforted? That split is probably as fifty-fifty as it gets. Healer. Revolutionary. Perhaps there's some providence in "nakedfreedom" being unavailable. As much as i want every human to achieve my level of uninhibited self-awareness, i know we're at least a century or two away. So in the meantime, perhaps the greater part of my gift should be making people feel hopeful. Or failing that, maybe just offering permission to laugh in the face of a world that's not one tiny bit funny.
So come.
Walk through the woods.
Just when the forest seems most deep and dark...guess what you'll find.
Leave those clothes behind.
You don't need them. You never did.

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