friendship

If you need a friend
A buddy, a pal
A chum steady and true
If you need a laugh
If you need a song
I know where to find a few

If you need an ear
to chew for a year
just keep me well-fed
If you want a hug
If you'd like to cry
Come lay down your head

If you need to run
or climb a tree
i'll beat you to the top
If it's excess you want
or serenity
i'll not be the one to cry stop

If you have a secret
If you fear a scandal
What, you're republican? Queer?*
If you need to get drunk
and forget the world
i'll nurse my half a beer

If you want to be saints
or stir up some shit
show me where to sign
If you need a cock
for an hour or two
you can borrow mine**

If you don't know who
or what you are
If you want to just feel free
If you're at your worst
don't run away
Next time it might be me

*use substitutions as needed
**"cunt" or "minute" are appropriate substitutions