(nOn)marriage vOw

As a member of the concerned citizenry of planet Earth, i hereby aver and avow the following.
I recognize that the institution of marriage is rooted in barbarism most heinous - a "good old-fashioned wedding" in the oldest sense was nothing more than a transfer of living property from father to husband (and treated with all the sentimentality of any other livestock purchase). The degree of servitude has diminished somewhat in the past century, but that in itself would never be enough to prevent outraged womankind from eventually relegating the institution to the scrapheap on which rest the negro slave auction and the DeLorean. So in the 19th century, the notion of romantic love became the "spoonful of sugar" which made the distribution of female kitchen/bedroom slaves go down. This tactic was so preposterously successful that today, women champion marriage more ardently than men(!) Although stunning strides toward women's freedom and equality have been made (at least in certain corners of this planet), marriage is still a roadblock on the journey of human progress and enlightenment. The three cornerstones of the institution are as follows:
(1) HOARDING
Marriage is first and foremost and above all an economic contract. It stipulates who may (and more importantly, implicates who may not) have access to our possessions. This contract is one of the most binding ever devised, generally superceding even the greatest deal-breaker of all - death. However, in a world where only a small minority have enough food, shelter, and health care, hoarding is the greatest human poison of all.
(2) MONOGAMY
Without the idea of monogamy (owning not just a woman, but her children), multi-generational hoarding is inefficient. The resultant attempt to perpetuate the idea that humans are monogamous, even though not a single credible biologist, sociologist, archaeologist, or zoologist IN THE WORLD will support this notion, is the single greatest cause of suffering among all those humans who DO have enough food, shelter, and health care.
(3) LOVE
Realistically, this isn't one of the cornerstones of marriage...but we include it in the discussion to mollify those idiots who will insist on its relevance (and because it's so easily refutable). A simple understanding of the science of sexuality reveals that "falling in love" has nothing to do with poetry and everything to do with hormones. Most people who marry make the colossal blunder of doing so when they are somewhere in the exciting or calming throes of attraction/infatuation/attachment - all three of which stages have a shelf life that falls about a lifetime short of "happily ever after". Any humans bonded in the "attachment" phase will eventually seek anew those exciting brain chemicals of the earlier phases...with anyone but their bonded partner, however. That's how our hormonal cycles work.
THEREFORE, recognizing the dehumanizing threat that marriage as constituted poses, i hereby resolve to avoid the institution.
I resolve to do nothing which will perpetuate its reign as a core institution of our species.
I will attend no wedding now or evermore, as participant or guest. While this may seem extreme, when the soul of the human race is at stake, it is not the time to be quietly polite - it's the time to be quietly impolite.

signed,

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proclaimed on this day
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