Living in limbo between homes can afford little opportunity for self-sex. Given a chance, my mind swirled, a reflection of deprivation and my battered, feral state of mind. Some of the women i fantasized of should stay in dreams, "sensibly" speaking (not least of all for the fact that herpes and HPV are known quantities in parts of this list). I had my first HIV test in a decade last month, and my semi-recklessness of the last year hasn't resulted in any viral news. Curiously, there are a ridiculously conspicuous number of one-child single mothers in this far-reaching swirl. I think that says everything about our society though, and nothing in particular about me...
ANN
My ex-lover who sent me a small-talk e-mail today. She's "happily married" for a year or two, and our relationship remains frozen for me at the point where she left...sweet lovers, sweet friends. I dream of the day when she comes to me again for intimacy and healing. Her shut-down of our friendship when the romance ended, has played no small part in my inability to move on. It took her over a year just to be able to write with me, a little.
BERNADETTE
My phantom internet romance which i shut down 99%, after years of patience convinced me she has no intention of ever meeting.
BERNADETTE
My phantom internet romance which i shut down 99%, after years of patience convinced me she has no intention of ever meeting.
JULIE
A friend in FL. We were never lovers, and have reconnected this year, acknowledging the sexual energy between us. Rationally, we would be horrible as lovers...different sexual tastes, religious views, politics, and grooming affinities. We should focus on being intimate, platonic friends. But she told me that having me inside her for the first time would be the high point of her sexual life. How do i not fantasize about that?
?
A woman i met once. She's "developmentally disabled", with an IQ that's on the high end of such classification. There was a spark between us, and i suspect her curiosity was sexual. I want to love everyone. Shouldn't we all feel that way?
?
A friend i was in love with once or twice, who has had intimate thoughts of me as well. Though never lovers, we have a deeper relationship than most bed buddies. Loving her might bring third-party damage.
TARYN
Strangely, a woman i've never met nor seen in any way. A teacher friend of my dad's wife, she and he have pondered trying to match-make for us. They say our spirits are frighteningly similar...their only reservation being a reluctance to bring together two non-believers(!). It says something about how broken and empty i am that i would even ponder such a set-up, as their views on romance are pretty archaic (the sad notion of match-making itself, for instance), and their perception of me is skewed as well. So why do i dream of loving this stranger relentlessly?
V
A woman from FL (what is it with FL??) who wrote to me and declared her attraction, after reading my article about being a naked art model. She's unusually unreserved (like myself), bright, damaged by the wars of the sexes (who isn't?), and is three quarters of the way through reading everything i've ever posted...words i never dreamed i'd hear from a single human again, given the sheer number of articles.
V
A woman from FL (what is it with FL??) who wrote to me and declared her attraction, after reading my article about being a naked art model. She's unusually unreserved (like myself), bright, damaged by the wars of the sexes (who isn't?), and is three quarters of the way through reading everything i've ever posted...words i never dreamed i'd hear from a single human again, given the sheer number of articles.
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