porn

 I've been watching porn.

By porn, i mean the traditional semi-pejorative definition, low-budget movies poorly (or barely) written, created to show bounteous nudity and real fucking.

I've actually seen very little porn in my life, before this. Oh, i adore a little soft-core, NC-17 action, but the literary snob in me always turned up my nose at traditional porn, plus i never much fancied watching others do what i wanted to be doing. If i'm seeking masturbation fodder, some still images artfully done, or the waterfall scene from "Beastmaster", suits me fine.

I'd only ever seen one full-length porn before, as a teenager. It seemed obvious and crass. Plus one anime tentacle film once, which i thought was actually kind of cute.

But last month, i found myself with access to a free porn channel, and i thought i'd see what the fuss was about.

It was pretty much as expected. Dreary, under-written, and badly-acted.

With one unexpected redeeming quality.

It was soooooo non-neurotic. Blessedly, blissfully non-neurotic. There was no angst, no hand-wringing, no "Oh i can't, oh i must, oh i won't, oh i must..." Just humyn beings getting turned on and fucking. Not until you see sex from this perspective, do you appreciated just how neurotic ALL cinematic depictions of sexuality are. In every mainstream movie ever, from NC-17 all the way to G, any time sex or romance are portrayed or invoked, there's inevitably a tinge (or tonnage) of neurotic oppressiveness that accompanies it.

You can't appreciate how pernicious and unhappy all that weight is, until you see something completely free of it.

Of course, my literary tastes prevent me from dwelling overlong in the land of "porn"...but it all makes me long for the obvious hybrid cinematic sub-genre: porn with real acting and real writing. How can there not have been a studio or three devoted to this? ARE there? How can there not be??

Hollywood sucks, and porn sucks.

I want something sexy and non-neurotic that doesn't suck!

Is that so much to ask?