masturbation montage 7

The women i dream of, when dreams are all there is...
What does not having sex for two years do to a person? My fantasies have been expanding to include women i don't even know...
And my impregnation fantasies show no sign of abating...

GARAGE SALE WOMAN
A vendor at a garage sale, from whom i bought a gloria steinem book and joe jackson cds. I'd never met her and was a little sleepyheaded, but the chatting we shared (initiated by her) was more than obligatory. Her daughter had just moved to NY, and i told her how i had lived there cheaply. The rest of the day, i kicked myself for not giving her my number. It wasn't a strong animal attraction on my part, but her energy was gentle and bright. That night, i fantasized about being her lover, and eventually meeting the daughter, who becomes smitten with me. One night, the lonely, antsy daughter can no longer stand hearing (through an adjoining wall) her mother and i making love. She knocks on our door, and slips into our bed. The three of us cuddle languorously, with my back to the mother, and the daughter's back to me. The mother's hand brings me to erection, then directs me toward her daughter. A grandchild is born...
The following day, i biked by her house. She wasn't home, but i left a note saying to call me if her daughter had any questions about her new home.
C
A clerk at my favorite health food store, we always talk. Thinking about the first time i felt her spirit actually open up, makes my heart feel funny. I feel a bit tongue-tied with her - i'm used to thinking of a clever or funny response to something she says, two minutes too late. I feel so profoundly capable of loving her the way she should be...a kind that virtually never happens in this lost, alienated, negotiated world. Making her spirit fly by offering her my entire being, even if that's not the best choice for my life (or if it caters to a self-destructive, monogamous paradigm in which she might be trapped). I dream of making her feel a purity of love that renders her incapable of hiding...of impregnating her, ten hours or ten years from now...
MASSEUSE
Living a non-materialistic life, choosing to have only what i need, makes me sad only infrequently. If i had unlimited money, i'd get several massages a week (at least). Not having had sex in over two years, i haven't really been touched since 2013. Mild backache is a constant companion. With my savings for my next move piling up, i have plenty of extra cash. Remembering fondly my investigative essays about the sex trade in NY, i've recently been thinking of returning to an asian massage parlor. One particular memory (and accompanying fantasy) spurs me on. I remember a massage i received in Yonkers. As the woman finished, she gently took my penis in her hand and asked whether i wanted more. I took her hand, and said "Only if you want me to be your boyfriend" (i normally don't use a word so stupid as "boyfriend", but english was her second language, so i tried to keep it simple). She said yes. I asked whether she wanted to come home with me. She nodded. Was she sincere? Of course not, screams any sensible person...men are money to her. And yet it seemed that there was a sadness and hope in her eyes...
I let the moment slip away though, because...who can say? Suspicion? Fear? We're all so broken.
And now i dream of that moment being recreated, a thousand miles away...but this time, the masseuse comes home with me. Maybe she's a slave in the asian-american sex trade, and coming with me means she has to go into hiding, and live with me. I happily allow it.