naked nurse 11

SOOTHING OUR SOCIAL/SPIRITUAL/SEXUAL STRIFE

Dear naked nurse,
Thank you for your advice (http://nakedmeadow.blogspot.com/2014/12/naked-nurse.html). I've tried it a couple times, and one of them was probably the best sex i've ever had. All's the more shame that the relationship went boom (and not in the good way). We had so much in common! But self-destruction seems to be the romantic rule, not the exception. Am i just doomed to pick lovers who are wrong for me? Will one person always want more than the other?
-horny in Harrisburg

Dear horny,
By and large...yes. Sorry 'bout that. As long as our society bases romance on the fulfillment of selfish needs, the vast majority of entanglements will sooner or later go, as you say, boom.
But here's a little something that can help. And like the sexual advice i gave you, it's a bit counter-intuitive (in fact, it's almost the same advice, applied to the emotional realm).
Pick a lover whom you really like...but aren't consumed by. Someone you dig...but who has one or two obviously annoying or silly qualities. If we approached relationships thusly, it would be easier to find some measure of equanimity in this all-or-nothing world. We wouldn't get so bent out of shape when little things go wrong. When little imbalances arise. It would be easier to get through those imbalances, perhaps to a time when a different imbalance will run the other way. It would be easier to avoid falling into the trap of letting our lover become our entire world. If she or he has a taste you find tedious, or a hobby you find half-assed...great! It may keep you from "losing your head" in love - which feels great, of course, but in a dog-eat-dog world, isn't the most sensible roman(tac)tic.
salutary snoggings,
the naked nurse

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