The Muppet Show, season 3

KRIS KRISTOFFERSON & RITA COOLIDGE ***
A workmanlike season debut, highlighted by Rowlf & Fozzie's "An Actor's Life for Me", and the Electric Mayhem's "New York State of Mind".
LEO SAYER ***
Incandescent. If Leo's is just a name you're vaguely aware of, you're in for a revelation - he's absolutely brilliant, possessed of a stratospheric voice and beguiling presence. He performs "You Make Me Feel Like Dancing", "The Show Must Go On", and "When I Need You".
ROY CLARK ***
The brimmingly-talented Roy picks and fiddles and sings his way through "Rocky Top" and the touching "Yesterday When I was Young", while Fozzie has to do the work of all the stagehands as the theater catches on fire.
GILDA RADNER ***
Gilda plops in the night Dr. Honeydew's super-adhesive glue escapes the lab. She spends her most wonderful number, "Tap Your Troubles Away", glued to Beaker. What could be more perfect?
PEARL BAILEY ***
One hell of a performer. A straight-up gospel number feels a little strange in muppetland, but otherwise a charming entry. They do a repeat of the Rowlf/Fozzie number from Episode 1, curiously. The finale is a cornucopic jamboree, ostensibly the joust number from CAMELOT, but done with replacement songs they "could afford".
JEAN STAPLETON ***
Jean breaks free of her ALL IN THE FAMILY collar, to join in a charming slice of Muppetry. The highlight is Rowlf and Annie Sue doing "Daddy Wouldn't Buy Me a Bow Wow".
ALICE COOPER ***
How do you possibly put Alice on the Muppet Show? Pretty easily, actually. This one would fit beautifully on any Halloween marathon. You wonder whether he had any reservations about turning a genuinely dark number like "Welcome To My Nightmare" into a kid-friendly performance...but it works. Backstage, he looks for souls to buy. Silly fun, capped by a boisterous "School's Out for Summer".
LORETTA LYNN ***
The railroad station episode. With the theater being fumigated, it's the only alternate location they can find. Kermit and Gonzo get swept out of town, then return on a handcar...almost. If Loretta had packed a little more juice, this'n'd be four stars - the antics are seamless. You haven't seen music played, until you see a Muppet on slide guitar. Plus the original, actual Muppet babies.
LIBERACE ****
Was there ever a performer more born to be on this show? He does a concert that includes the only Muppet number ever done with no Muppet interaction. He plays Chopin, and "Misty", and sings a version of "Has Anybody Seen my Bird" that feels faintly indecent. The crew are at their hysterical best, including a mash-up of The Swedish Chef and Veterinarian's Hospital. And pay close attention...did you know Piggy could flip the hair out of her eyes?
MARISA BERENSON ****
Dancing russian pigs, a wig race in 1978 that somehow features Coolio's locks, and a "wedding sketch" between Kermit and Piggy that everyone but he knows is real...plus a guest star who might make you say "who?". But Marisa is a perfect part of this wonderful tapestry. She does a rendition of "You're Always Welcome at Our House" that blows your doors off, mostly because it seems far too demented for children. It's doubtful that this song (by Shel Silverstein) would ever make the airwaves today on a kid's show. But that was part of the genius of the Muppets...an ever-so-faint acknowledgment that we live in a world of dysfunctional perversity, which it does no one any good to hide from. Marisa, dressed as a little girl, sweetly sings of all the ways she kills and stores houseguests. There is an achingly subtle sexuality going on, as her legs are naked, and her dress a bit high. She also gives a look into the camera that's disturbing in just the right way. Amazing. At the end, will Kermit say "I do"? The final shot, of Statler and Waldorf throwing him out of their box, answers that question.
RAQUEL WELCH ****
Know how some things get built up so big, they can never possibly live up to their reputation? Raquel isn't one of those things. In this case, she takes a three-star episode and turns it into something else. She does a dance number with a spider that riffs on her cavewoman image...it's not subtly sexy, it's throat-drying sexy. Then she does a bosom-hugging duet with Fozzie, that's faintly sexy but all sweet. Except for Floyd's wit, the Muppets almost aren't worthy.
JAMES COCO ***
The darling Mr. Coco centers an entry that positively kabooms out of the gate, with an underwater version of "Octopus's Garden" that is perfection. James and Fozzie do an hysterical seance sketch. The episode loses steam...the finale is a performance of Randy Newman's "Short People" that doesn't do justice to the material.
HELEN REDDY ***
A Helen Reddy episode should soar, but somehow this one doesn't quite. The new character, janitor Beauregard, is charming though. The pigs doing "Stayin' Alive" as a riff on ill-fated french aristocracy is a bizarre delight. An impromptu duet between The Swedish Chef and Animal is wonky nirvana. And Helen's desert finale with a dancing camel, "We'll Sing in the Sunshine", shimmers.
HARRY BELAFONTE ***
The brilliant Mr. Belafonte lets his light shine, in his first-ever television performance of "Day-O".
LESLEY ANN WARREN ***
Care to see her burn the disco down? Check out her "Last Dance". And can someone tell me whether she gets her ass Muppet-smacked out of shot? I hit rewind three times.
DANNY KAYE ***
A brilliant night for Statler and Waldorf, as they abandon their box to watch the garbage in the alley. Onstage, Danny Kaye falls short of himself...but "Inchworm" is nice.
SPIKE MILLIGAN ***
Legendary british Goon comedian Spike lends his madcapery to a Muppet salute to the world (it turns out that all non-english speakers understand The Swedish Chef perfectly). There are two reasons this one may never again be aired...apparently, Spike wore a T-shirt with some foreign drug-related words that wouldn't get by the censor in english, and during the "It's a Small World" number, a Muppet appears in a burqa, the symbol of one of the most brutal enslavements in human history.
LESLIE UGGAMS & BIG BIRD **
An unoffensive effort that never quite lifts, in the big numbers. Leslie is fine, the fault isn't hers.
ELKE SOMMER ***
Elke is a delight. Another episode that would never make the air today, courtesy of the cigarette dangling from the mouth of Bobby Benson, bandleader of babies.
SYLVESTER STALLONE ***
I tried to give this one two stars, i really did. That's all it arguably earned. But Sly squeaks out too much sincerity and charm to be denied. Yes, he makes Raquel Welch look like Rita Moreno...but he doesn't overreach. And Dr. Bob is on top of his game.
ROGER MILLER ***
Roger's quirkiness fits right in. Cluckitis is going around, with everyone turning into chickens.
ROY ROGERS & DALE EVANS ***
How could Roy and Dale be anything other than a delight? Has yodeling become a lost art form? The finale, with happy trails and tumblin' tumbleweeds, deserves a spot in an all-time best Muppet montage.
LYNN REDGRAVE ***
As perfectly charming as any three-star effort will ever be. An episode-long recreation of the story of Robin Hood. Classic.
CHERYL LADD ***
But for some X factor or similar sizzle, this one is seamless four-star greatness. Cheryl is a revelation...CHARLIE'S ANGELS doesn't prepare us for this level of song & dance talent. Great numbers, too. She does "Sunshine On My Shoulders", Scooter does "There's a New Sound", and Piggy & Link do "True Love", as a slapstick Tarzan and Jane.