the anti-wrob push

Anyone out there ever change your name?
I don't mean in a societally-accepted way. If Ginny Feinstein becomes Ginny Messerschmidt, nobody bats an eye. Little Ginny spent her whole life being called one thing, now she's asking that everybody call her something else. She's not soliciting your permission or opinion. If you decide to not go along with it, people you don't even know might berate you. Ginny might cry.
It's also societally-accepted for Billy to become Bill. This change has limits though...the further one is from fourteen years of age, the more resistance master Billy is likely to receive. If adult Bill decides it's time to be William, he can expect the occasional "Bill" for the rest of his life.
There's also the occasional Darrell who becomes "Rimmer" during college. This kind of change has a faintly tribal element to it, with a built-in core of friends who reinforce this new identity forever. Darrell's old friends and family may refuse to go along with it, and probably nobody (including Rimmer) will mind.
In the past, it was more common for people with ethnic names to "whiten" themselves if they were embarking on some kind of public life in the ol' U.S.of A. Not surprisingly, this has always been readily embraced by the white (ex-) majority...and probably met with resistance by the old neighborhood. Would you agree, Mr. Bonjiovi? The acceptance level of these changes has always been commensurate with how high the individual climbs in public life. In rare circumstances, this change runs in the opposite direction, as Mr. Alcindor DE-whitens himself. Again, the acceptance hinges largely upon how far one rises. America's greatest unwritten rule? Success begats ass-kissing, failure begats derision.
Speaking of derision, how long do you think it's been since a snooty reporter addressed Sting as "Gordon"? Which brings us to the category of changing one's name, not to whiten oneself, but to make oneself sound cooooooooool. Ever hear of actor Tom Mapother? Come on, i bet you've seen every one of his movies (even the ones you hate).
But there's another category of name-changing, one that meets the greatest resistance of all. An adult changing one's own name, simply because they choose to. A grown woman changing her name because she refuses to endorse a paradigm of patriarchy. A grown man changing his name because he refuses to share a name with a father who abused him. An adult who becomes so enamored of japanese culture, he asks everyone to address him as "Nobuyuki-san". In this society, there is a built-in pushback to this kind of name change. We're trained to be suspicious of such things. We're trained to perceive them as egotistical or disloyal. They don't fit within the walls of "acceptable", so society encourages us to react with skepticism, mockery, or even scorn. This response is perfectly understandable, and not strictly evil. A society is nothing more or less than the rules that make it up. If one challenges these rules, even for noble reasons, the natural reaction of everyone else is and must be, resistance. That's what society is, that's what it does. There may be a society somewhere, in the past or the future or possibly in Lapland, where self-name-changing is expected, perhaps even several times over the course of one's life. But not here.
I know firsthand of such things. A few years ago, disenchanted with patriarchy and a system wherein one's name is a reflection of how your biological parents felt at your birth (or even earlier), i decided to change my name from "Rob Rosenberger" to "wrob". I de-capitalized the first letter because i was philosophically bothered by the self-importance inherent in capitalizing one's name. I didn't make this change legally, such details don't matter to me. Nor did i need to push this change in anyone's face. The "w" is silent, so everyone who's called me "Rob" my whole life can keep on addressing me just as they always have. I'll answer to most anything. It's just words.
But wow, it is never-endingly amusing to watch society push back if you attempt a name-change that's outside the rules. I have an aunt who is otherwise one of the most tolerant, accepting people i know, who now refuses to address me as she always has. She feels compelled to put a non-silent "w" in front of my name, in one of the least subtle attempts at behavior modification ever assayed. An aunty-wrob push, if you will. She makes it sound playful, but it screams passive-aggressive. The most hilarious reactions are in written correspondence with strangers, though. I'll introduce myself as "wrob", and around 90% of the time, they'll write back addressing me as "Rob". To be sure, most of them probably assume i made a typo...yet their "Rob"-ing generally persists, even if we continue corresponding and i continue addressing myself as "wrob" (and continue showing them a person not prone to typos or misspelling). It's part of our need to put everyone around us in boxes that complies with our preconceived notions. Human beings tend to function not by reacting to the world as it is, but by reacting to the world as they expect it to be. We all know how to treat a man named "Bill". We all know how to treat a woman named "Kaneesha". Seeing all these written "Robs" coming at me, the image that comes to my mind is that of a brash, bossy african-american female sitcom character saying, "Naw naw, I ain't hearin' that, I ain't HEARIN' that!", as she wags her finger.
People want me to be "Rob". They understand that. This other thing, they don't. And frankly, they don't want to.
Know how i knew it was time to write this article?
I finally found one sub-group in our society that embraces my name without batting an eye. Before this week, i didn't even imagine that such a group existed. But they do, in exactly the opposite ratio of the  larger american society, meaning that less than 10% of them choose to call me "Rob" when they've seen "wrob".
That sub-group? Actresses responding to a casting call. I'm going to direct a play, and i've received twenty or thirty e-mails over the past week from actresses i've never met. They want to be in this play, and they damn well spell my name "wrob" virtually every single time! I hope a large part of this can be attributed to artists being more inclusive in their worldview, and more embracing of differentness. I realize of course that the fact that i'm in a position of power relative to something they want, is also a factor. The ass-kissing effect goes into override when someone has something we want.
But i hope (and believe) it's more than that.
Indeed, a little part of me has almost been moved to tears by the consideration these strangers have shown me. The cheeky part of me wants to advertise another casting call, identifying myself as Baby Bunny-GEorGE.
Anyway, whoever or whatever you call yourself...
I love you all.