playfully, that's it

A romance ad in the W4M section of craigslist:
Be smart, witty, and over 35. Seriously, that's it.
To be frank, those are really the only traits that I care about. For now, anyway :)
I am very much in need of a distraction. Ergo, you should write me, and then we can be unproductive together!
P.S. - If you're into blonde SWFs, this will probably not work out. However,if you like long-haired, slender, doe-eyes SAFs, then you may be in luck!

My response:
over 35 (jokes?)
I don't know about doe-eyed SAFs, but i'm definitely partial to bread-eyed giraffes, so we may have something, you and i.
Is it possible to be witty without being smart? Just saying, you might not have needed both adjectives. I'm trying to imagine someone witty and dumb. Could make for a good SNL character, perhaps. Wittydumbguy..."Hey, this airplane turbulence is wacky. Maybe the ground crew forgot to shave the tail?"
Anyway, i'm WAY over 35 pounds, so i'm definitely qualified. Unless you meant over 35 feet. In which case, i'm not the guy for you...but damn, by my calculations, that would make your clit about the size of an apple. I'm going to go to sleep now. Hopefully i'll take that image into my dreams.
Or maybe you're worried that i'm obsessed with the year 1935 (a great year for abortion, Alcoholics Anonymous, and aviatrixes)? No worries, i am so over '35.
Can you believe no one's tossing me quarters for these?
warmly,
wrob