FOUR STAR
-Dream Weaver
Mark Hamill! Mark HAMILL!!! No really, this one's worth extra exclamation points. Mark (JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK, THE STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL) plays a blind super-genius scientist, who turns out to be an alien in hiding from tyranny and repression on his home world. Kent McCord (ADAM-12, AIRPLANE 2) is an astronaut who helps fight an alien assassin come to kill Mark. Mr. Hamill gets his suave on (and pulls it off without a single slice of cheese). And how wonderful to experience nasty aliens the way they were meant to be (in cheesy rubber costumes). Also a wonderful episode for Kathy Evison, as Helmswoman Henderson. If she keeps wearing tank tops, i may have to amend my forthcoming comment about the number of new cast members who have any juice. That's not simple objectification...if she weren't a thoroughly charming performer, the contents of her uniform wouldn't merit mention.
NOTEWORTHY
-Daggers ***
The two-hour season debut. A prison is overthrown by genetically-engineered super soldiers. The rebuilt Seaquest takes on a new crew, with five familiar faces. The only new ones with any juice are the DeLuise brothers. Peter is the childlike, hulking prototype for the "daggers", and Michael is a crew member who got out of military prison by agreeing to have gills grafted into him. The only painful loss is Stacy Haiduk's Commander Hitchcock. The show is still trying to sell the idea that a 21st-century science vessel could be a haven for spirituality...which can't work, given the percentage of scientists who were already non-believers forty years earlier. But it's a fun ride.
-The Fear That Follows ***
Kent McCord and the aliens are back! Native Americans and a meddlesome, violent military too. Good storytelling and visually lovely.
-Sympathy for the Deep *
Don't let Tink die! Help Tinkerbell live! Clap as hard as you can, and say "I do believe in spooks, I do believe"!!!
-Vapors ***
It's Deluiseriffic! Brothers Peter and Michael are joined by brother David and father Dom (yes, THAT Dom!). Adorable, funny, well-paced, with priceless dolphin scenes. The writing staff went out to lunch during the last five minutes, but whattayagonnado?
-By Any Other Name ***
The crew and sub are attacked by...KILLER TREES!!! The campiest, most over-the-top episode in DSV history. And that ain't all bad.
-Lostland **
This shiny, happy bit of dipsy wipsery has an IQ of 80, not least of which for the double standard which allows Chief Ortiz to run around topless, but not Helmswoman Henderson. C'mon people, it's 2032, isn't it time for humanity to be no longer crippled by bodily shame?
-Watergate **
Seaquest meets Neptune. And Minerva. Plus a ghost horse. And future pop star Dawn Robinson of En Vogue playing a, um, pop star. Channeling some nasty deity. This may be the episode at which the cast turned to heavy drinking.
-Splashdown **
Two seasons, two finales, and yet again...the Seaquest is destroyed! Not surprisingly, this one's overblown, simplistic, and "lite" (like way too much of Spielberg's work post-CLOSE ENCOUNTERS). But if you're going for broke, this is the way. The sub is kidnapped by a UFO and taken to a water planet, where they are forced to take sides in a war. Kent McCord and Mark Hamill are back. The action is big, the ship is destroyed, and everyone killed except for Lucas and Dagwood in a lifeboat (plus Darwin). It took a hearty constitution to get through two whole seasons of this show...but, having come this far, i admit to a perverse curiosity to know what happened in the abortive season 3, with Captain Michael Ironside (STARSHIP TROOPERS, THE NEXT KARATE KID). Farewell, Mr. Scheider. You did well, as always. That said, being eaten by a shark would have been the more poetic way to go out.
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