tabooted!

I put up a post a couple days ago entitled "happy birthday". Don't look for it. It was about a taboo subject, and i deleted it, the only time i've ever done such a thing. Two friends read it, one who is somewhat mainstream, and the other a raging free spirit. The first friend found the post disturbing, and the free spirit opined that talking about such things so openly is an invitation to trouble.
Welcome to self-censorshipville.
If someone had asked, i might have guessed that 100 people would be alienated by the piece, 15 would applaud, and 1 or 2 lives might even be changed.
I have the tendency to plunge headfirst where more cautious heads pause. Though i consider myself the best kind of libertine, i haven't lived a life of sordid behavior...indeed, a fly on the wall might even describe me in the opposite terms (long ago i sadly accepted that i'll never be one of history's great philosophers, as i don't drink, and that seems to be quite the prerequisite).
Humans engage in taboo behavior all the time. And then we don't talk about it. I come along, hellfire determined to bring our hypocrisies and truths into the light of day. In doing so, i open myself up to the kind of crucifixion that most taboo-breakers avoid. Once or twice i've even opened myself up to being misunderstood in the worst kind of way. Perhaps there is an element of self-destruction in all of us, and this is where mine lies? Or perhaps...there is simply nothing in the world that fills me with greater dread than the thought of coming to the end of life, and being told, "You knew what was needed, but you lacked the courage".
Or maybe i just need a smart woman, to pull me back from the brink sometimes. Any de beauvoirs out there?
If you read the post, and would like to have it again, let me know. I don't want it to die...a part of me is pondering going back, making it less personal, and expanding it.
Underpinning the piece was the message that we do not live in an enlightened time. Kant made clear the difference between an age of enlightenment, and an enlightened time. Be proud of the strides humanity is making. But we are not out of the dark ages, and hard-won strides can disappear in the blink of an eye.
Each and every one of us will live and die in an era of profound psycho-sexual repression.
Keep moving forward. The goal is a world so beautiful that words fail me. And the only way there, as herr kant said, is to have the courage to use your understanding.

(on September 8th, "happy birthday" was re-posted - http://nakedmeadow.blogspot.com/2008/09/happy-birthday.html)